My dream about baby dolphin

My to becoming new Painting...it's a piece of it

 

I dreamt last night I was the one to save a little baby dolphin. Last week dolphins had passed me in the Ocean and they had a new baby…oh my God it was so precious and small. For some reason it was intrigued with me and turned around me in circles while it was talking and making bubbles… J

It was telling me something….She or he was happy happy Jhappy happy J

Maybe it was telling its parents,( because he /she returned to mom and dad’s side very close) how weird looking I was. J Or maybe it was telling which beautiful energy I have…J I’ll keep this story…I like that…J and weird looking is ok too, I don’t care…J

I also had the honor to observe a very pregnant mama dolphin and that was what my dream was about last night.

Here is my dream:
the mama dolphin gave birth to her baby in the Ocean… (oh Yes, of course… where would she do it?J)
I mean I saw the blood in the water and the baby dolphin was at the bottom of the ocean not moving…
3 or 4 dolphins were staring at me…and I was staring at them…
I was in action savior’s mood, but didn’t know if they would let me do that, so I waited for them to take action; but parentally they were waiting for me. So I just went ahead and brought it to the surface to give it its’ first breath! The dolphins were dancing around me and were so happy…the baby was alive!

That was so a great dream!

I love to watch my dreams therefore I have two alarms going of each morning 30 minutes apart.

Everything in the dream is about me, all aspects of my SELF. I love to analyze it… the never ending analyst..:) (Maybe it is time to let that analyzing go and to just live…J)
So the analyst in me saw that the baby dolphin was me…
as well the one that was saving the baby dolphin…
as the ones watching the savior…

Haaa what part of me still wants to be saved???
Hmmm have to let this one sink…
Is it the innocent little baby that wants to be saved?
So somewhere I don’t feel safe yet….
I know it is my next hurdle…moving in my true SAFE place, moving into my Inner core… J
IAM

What I did recognize in this dream was this:

It all has to do with INNOCENCE…the baby stands for my true INNOCENCE…
What I mean by that is that we are all innocent. We make war with each other, argue and judge each other but in the deep core of our being in reality we are all INNOCENT.
It is our mind that judges.
And in reality: if we judge somebody else we are really JUDGING ourselves; because the other is us.

The dream translated for me that I am REBORN in a place of INNOCENCE.
 I was always innocent really, but I am returning to my innocence and let all self judgment go. J

The word INNOCENCE reaches out to more than only one explanation, but in essence it is very  SIMPLE.

Ok let me explain it…

Yesterday Mama P had taught me the lesson that if I approach somebody with an idea in my head about that person; I am not having a relationship with that person but with ‘the idea I have about that person’.
It is a judgmental relationship that has nothing to do with love.
She said if you would approach everybody as you encounter dolphins, turtles or other animals…nO STORIES ATTACHED…you would be INNOCENT connected to that persons’ essence.
She wanted to give me an example and I started laughing very hard. I had an example.

In the morning when I was swimming there was a woman approaching a turtle to close and I kind of educated her about the turtle, or I tried too because it was rather difficult for me when I noticed that the woman wasn’t wearing her bottom piece of her swim suit. So I was kind of educating a half naked woman, which felt difficult. My authority didn’t really stand up in that way…hahaha J
Immediately lots of judgments went through my head of how this woman was.
I was not in connection with her true self, but with the IDEA I had about her.
She was for me woman without boundaries, that didn’t respect other people…etc…
When I was talking to mama-P I laughed hard because it was so ridiculous!
I had made a new person with my own thoughts. It was a version of that person, but NOT how she really was.
Maybe she had so harsh boundaries her whole life and it was the first time she did something like this…
How could I know? Mama-P made sure I understood; “It was not of my business!”
I dropped the story and now could connect in pure INNOCENCE with the woman’s Soul.

Waaw that felt so good!
If I could move in that way of living, I would be so free…J

If I drop all judgments about others, I drop all judgments about me.

Every judgment about another is about me..ohoh
Where is my ‘NO boundary” IDENTITY? And where do I not respect people? J
Well I went over my boundary with thinking all those things about her and I didn’t really respect her with those thoughts of mine…J
Life is so rich! And exciting!

Now I dropped my story about the woman she is free and so am I!
Today I even thought, I wish they changed the law here and we all go topless as in Europe…J

Look how many times we put judgments on people or things without connecting in INNOCENCE with their core?
We do it all the time!
We even judge dogs, or cats, trees, cities, countries, our food, our house, cars,…EVERYTHING…
We are never really in a HEART connection if we stay in this judgmental world.

So more and more I am waking up to my real self and that is the self I approach without judgment and see its total innocence.

That is what the dream is about. It was my responsibility to let the baby breathe, …
I need to wake up to the truth.
And the truth is that life is SIMPLE.
WE ARE INNOCENT.
LET THE INNOCENCE BREAHTE!

It is space and freedom!

There is only one moment you HAVE and it is NOW.
There is NO tomorrow, there is No past…
When you are in the NOW all the time, all judgment falls away because there is nothing to compare…
You are fresh, INNOCENT in the moment excited to LIVE the moment.
When you are there you are not pursuing BIG things to fulfill your SELF…
NO… an INNOCENT breath is enough to FEEL ALIVE…right here and now…

The dance of life is now…
I am so happy…
I can taste that enthusiasm…water comes in my mouth when I wake up in the morning to just BE and to be in connection with my “IAM”, my core and approach each situation as an innocent newborn dolphin… My core and me, let’s co-create!
What a fullness, abundance and innocence…

And SPACE!!!!!

Love Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com
Visit my awesome website with my beautiful art...

My netflix queue

Am ready for a movie...LOL


 

Thank you Netflix!

How Netflix can be one of my greatest teachers of all times…hahaJ
Last weekend I was EXPECTING 2 movies and nothing came.

I thought woow that’s the first time they are so late.
Monday came and no movies…
I was waaw that is long… how dare they…
I didn’t receive any emails from Netflix yet, and I thought that was a little strange.
I started thinking and made up the weirdest stories in my head.

They have a strike.
They are just behind.
Maybe the company is bankrupt.
It was all about them, right!

How dare they, they were not sending my movies.
Tuesday came and I decided to go and look on their site what was going on; which disaster hit their company. J
Even thoughts of ‘I am quitting’, I am going somewhere else…yes yes…all of that…
Mind can take you anywhere if you are willing to go with it!
When I opened my account my head probably turned reddish, when I saw that my QUEUE ran out of movies.
Here I was blaming them and I was the one in fault. J Woeha!

I didn’t have any movies in my queue!
How can that situation be my teacher now?

Well, I saw the whole thing symbolically.
I am talking to God for a long time (as we all do) asking to give me this and that and why things don’t come faster to me…J
 (Is it true they have to come faster, who knows? J or have to come at all? Who knows?)
I am waiting…and nothing comes… sometimes it comes but not in the speed I WANT at least.

I saw that my life was exactly the same as my empty Netflix queue.
In order to receive from your own God’s Self we have to put something in the queue.
It is that simple.

It are the deep values as LOVE, FAITH, NUTURING, BEAUTY, TRUST, CONFIDENCE, PEACE, UNITY,… you have to put in there.
God GIVES you HOW you are BEING to yourself!

Are you abusive you will get a horror movie, are you loving to yourself you get a romance or something like that… J
We decide if we make our queue the queue of SELF-LOVE or the queue of DOUBT.
So if you nurture this queue of SELF-love with love, patience, compassion, beauty, trust…
You’ll get send some awesome amazing movies that contain miracles, happiness, love and all the above… your doubt queue will contain tearjerkers J

But then here is another thing also:

Most of the time when we get movies, we don’t know how it ends or how it goes… we only have a slight outline of the movie. Well that’s how we communicate with God. We give an outline of what we want to experience and we are that and then we HAVE to let GO!

It is up to God how the movie ends. Also we are incapable of creating our lives as God can.
Believe me, I experienced God does a better job than I ever can imagine.
Some experiences I had I could impossible brought into my life with my limited mind and body…that’s why letting go and letting God is such a BLISS-FULL thing to do.

So we have to ALLOW GOD.

Trying to get things, pursue things or dreams…uhuh it doesn’t work…my queue stays empty because I am neglecting my part of the job if I try to do God’s job by trying to MAKE things happen…
It is impossible I came to see, we can’t make anything happen…let go already! J

I have to do my part of the deal and put in suggestions for experiences, that’s it…

Let’s translate it to DESIRES, but don’t let desires become EXPECTATIONS…
Or we set ourselves up for disillusion.

In my case:
It is as painting a painting and put love in it…ok that’s my job.
Then I have to trust and have faith and that is my job.
Then I have to let it go… and that is my job.
Then I have to REALLY let go and TRUST… and that is my job…

And do you see that all those actions are in the NOW?
What’s in the FUTURE is God’s job! It is not of my business, I am just required to live the moment and put my suggestions in my queue. That’s it. J The rest is God’s job!
What a relief, not of my problem anymore…

I think I can do this from now on…now we made clear whose job is whose job. JHaha

Namaste
Love Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

Me as the beautiful COLOR-FULL Venus

It’s happening...I fall more and more apart…still in deep silence, but with a big smile on my face; seeing the truth of who I am. The smile smiles because it is so peaceful in that center of my being… I described yesterday in my blog about how I was feeling and fortunately am an artist and I see a lot visual as so I can describe it to you. The image is that I am looking to myself from a distance, I see me as body/mind falling apart in little bits and pieces. I can see behind that sculpture and see an amazing exquisite color mix…It looks like one of my paintings! When I move behind the thin sculpture figure I move within the sculpture. When I move in the space of color I see a movie playing for me which shows me past amazing events that happened. It gives me a very deep feeling of faith. I have many stories to share from my past in this life time where I was blessed with miracles. Events where you know, this can only be God doing this… this was what was shown to me when I moved in the feast of colors within myself. I came in more peace….

It was as if I felt that God within me, wanted to make me feel SAFE with showing me the old images. That was truly what I felt. Today, just before I went running I read a piece Mama-P taught me. I write everything down in a book, so I remember. The piece I read was the following; “There is nobody outside of you. Everybody that shows up outside of you is a reflection what is inside of you.” For a few months now I try to break my block of selling my art and I couldn’t find the key. But today I found it. I feel I moved through big bricks that lie on my path today. I didn’t have to use explosions…I guess I was ready and the awareness came smooth and easy. After reading mama-P’s note deep insights popped up while I was running. I thought;”Why are not more people buying my art?” And then I GOT it!!!

There is NOBODY out there… There is NO outside world CAUSE of what is happening in your own world!!! It is an inside job to change the seemly blocks! I only I was cause of my own world! That is real good news, because it means I have THE POWER! So instead “Why are not more people buying my art?” it is; “Why am I not buying my art?” Waaw that was big!!! Thank you Mama-P.! For the first time in my life I felt I had everything in my hands. I was the one! I felt so powerful and free! It had nothing to do with others! I could make the change!!!

So now I knew I had to figure out why I was not buying my art!! When I came out of the Ocean I had a huge awareness. I lived my whole life in a survival instinct and had the CONVICTION that I could only buy things that were NECESSARY. I could not spend money for beauty… I know this came from my mom and what she taught me… No worries, old beliefs can be dropped just like that… I just had to push DELETE. Waaaw…

Here I am the artist that paints beauty, but that would not buy her own paintings because I had to survive and save my money for food and clothes. I realized in the ocean that I never ever have spent one dollar on something I would find beautiful. I remember I would but beauty for others, but not for myself really… I even had to think what was for me beautiful. My paintings OF COURSE  no dOUBT about that….:) Haha Two hours later I came up with some things… Flowers, beautiful music, lotion for my beautiful body, a massage,… I made the change…I could so see how important it was to have BEAUTY in this world and how important it was to bring my art full of beauty into the world. I could even see that my art didn’t have to have a meaning…it could just be bEAUTIFUL. I even saw the IMPORTANCE of beautiful ART in the Universe just for the sake of beauty!

I realized how important beauty was…how radiant it is and how happy it makes us…and how we smile when we see beauty… I guess for the first time in my life I see how important it is and how valuable that I paint and share my BEAUTIFUL art. When I came home from the Ocean a woman that owned me money for a painting paid me today after I begged her for months…  When awareness comes, you set your Self free with LOVE and in that space MIRACLES can happen!!! To return for a moment to the image I have of myself and the sculpture… My old convictions are the sculpture that falls in pieces. I am releasing the old IDENTITIES of the beggar, the starving artist, the slave and the survivor… I welcome the rich artist and the ENERGY of VENUS… Venus symbolizes BEAUTY and art. I accept deeply the vibration of Venus which I want to experience and embody now… Venus is abundant, beautiful, confident and sure… Yep I love it, I’ll take it…

This also means I am going to care more and more for my beautiful body  Hoera! What an insights…. Love tamara rainbow www.rainbowsheart.com Visit my art galleries and buy my BEAUTIFUL life-full ART! (Sorry for the text that is without spaces. Blogger is down again. I had to make it in HTML and so pasted some colorful paintings to help you relax your eyes...)

Wherever we are God is... Aloha!

This is a NEW painting!!

 

Ma kahi a kakou, e hele aku ai he akua no
Wherever we are God is..

When you read my blog from yesterday you’ll know that I am kind in a state of…I don’t have a clue…
I don’t know what’s happening…but I see this:

The crying didn’t continue, but the silence did. I can’t express myself yet totally. It is as if I am touched by truth and I am still reverberating. I can only compare it with a musical instrument like a gong slammed on and the vibration is continuing to just happen…
I am unable to do anything. I feel like the hanged man in the tarot deck hanging upside down, just disintegrating and vibrating at the same time.

Really, it is as if you would see me… my body and the things I believed of myself…the body you see and the things you believe of me…falling apart…
I see a Paradise shining behind it.
My whole life I was rooted into the security or safety of the body/mind dimension, as most of us.
Money, house, relationships, retirement, insurance plans,…
I knew already for a long time that that security is fake, and I knew that I had to look for the security within; but I never knew how to get there really.
It is scary to let go of the false security if you don’t see where you going to land when you jump.
It is like life is pushing me now…still gently…always gently… but always determined.

When you are ready, you just are. J no choice…only surrender…

I am falling and what I see is this:

If I can compare it with some of my paintings, it is of the colored flesh color of my body falls away in shards or pieces. I still see pieces of my face and body, but I can see through it and behind it is a place where there is so much color. It is a splendor or explosion of color.

It is as I am the pieces still, but also the one that watches the body falling apart…I am the body and watching the body.

It is as the outside is disintegrating and I am falling within…that’s the best way I can describe it…
And I am looking in the depth of where I am falling in…I see colors…

 

In the dimension of mind/body I extremely held on to relationships I should have let go faster, to safe situations which I should have let go faster too, I lied and cheated towards my own being,
I abused myself extremely harsh and found a structure as anorexia nervosa to feel safe.
(I should…doesn’t exists, read further and you will understand that I believe that all is RIGHT)

This morning when I was running I had a judgment about a previous relationship. I said within myself to my ex;”You were extremely abusive and you pretend you are kind to the outside world.”
Oh my…naturally I already know it is my own projection. In taking it back I would bring the situation in a place of love.
I WAS EXTREMELY ABUSIVE towards myself and I showed the outside world a KIND face. I thought nobody could see I was extremely suffering. Anorexia is a very hidden disease. You are in such an illusionary world. You THINK you have everything under control. What a JOKE!
Anyway no need to go there anymore. But just to see how I love myself NOW compared with the past.

Immediately a deep awareness came so clear to me…
in all of that…

Self abuse shuts down your heart.
Self LOVE opens your heart.
An open heart gives and receives abundantly.
When you have true Self LOVE you can be in FAITH that all what belongs to you will be there GIVEN to you…it looks like it comes from outside, but it comes from your own SELF love.
The self love radiates such energy that all of that which is the same vibration gets sucked into your world and gives you more of that LOVE.

The dissolving of my old self…the seeing that I am witnessing now, are all my old beliefs and all my old ‘holding on systems’ to feel safe.

I go extreme in describing what self abuse is…self abuse for me is all what is not the TRUTH.
No-body can resist the truth…we will all have to give our bodies/minds back and see that we are ‘Iam’ and pure LOVE. No need to tell that that is the only place where you truly can feel safe.

It is the place that always is and never changes. It is our CORE-LOVE!

Each one of us will go through this process.
There is a day that you will have to SURRENDER to your true Self…
I wish I can do it now so I walk newborn on the Earth in TRUE freedom.
It always was and always will be my most important thing in life and that is FREEDOM.

My being is in great pain if I am not…I see I have that more than other people.
Also my body needs space and light around it.
I need no time restriction as best as possible.
I can’t live in a dark room, I would be like a plant dying of absence of light…

I was a rebel in the past..i wanted to know what life was about, I wanted to know real freedom.
I would not want to settle with a life that would not be free…
I came to see this morning… If I let my Self fall into the Self love…I understood and felt…I fall with faith…

I am faith… I am free!

It also means that everything is pau (means done in Hawaiian) from the past.
What I mean by that is…if there were situations in your past where you lost money, or had painful relationships…it was all RIGHT. In that knowing you can just let that be NOW.
There is no need for forgiveness, when you look from the witness perspective or sometimes I call it the ‘eagle’ perspective, you know that it was all meant to BE. In that moment pain and hurt leaves and love streams in your heart. You make room for your true Self again and let your old mind go…

Falling into the colors of existence feels to me as being really born…it is the realization that all what I saw before in this life was just an illusion. And I know that I will continue to play in this illusion but with the inner knowing who I truly am. I start out of the place of truth now.
I don’t live at the edge of my existence anymore which is now falling apart anyway J, but within the core of my being…
Silence and love…
From that place of SELF love I only play self love…it doesn’t matter which role that is at the outside…
(the artist, the swimmer, the writer, the lover, the daughter, the teacher, the clown,..)
The only thing that matters is SELF LOVE…
and you can let go now
I can let go now

And fall

Fall

free…

In God’s loving arms
within me…

Ma kahi a kakou, e hele aku ai he akua no
Wherever we are God is..
ALOHA!

Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

 

Moved by Maui sunset

Oh my! What a day…and in fact what a few last splendid days…I am so blessed…
I had such amazing experiences, but in my blog ‘Be quiet’ I shared with you that I sometimes need space to bring it into my essence. It is amazing how I feel and all what appears in my world, but I can’t talk nor write about it yet. I need to be quiet.

I will when I am ready and open.
I feel that sharing can bring awareness to the whole.
I am about sharing…my writings and my paintings…it is what I want to give and share…J

I cried all day…it was sometimes from sadness …and sometimes of pure joy.

It is strange but I am moving towards a new world and I see the old world dissolve and I just brings tears and laughter and I am not judging it. It is what is happening and I am not resisting.
I even know I can’t resist it, or hold to anything that I would think gives me any safety.
I am moving towards the true safety and it is amazing… also scary if I let my thoughts make up stories.
I just need to stay the witness and see through the lies. Sometimes I fall, sometimes I see through it…

Just need some space-time… to ALLOW what is happening…

Tonight I was moved to tears with just watching the sunset, moved to tears to talk to MamaP (see other blogs), moved to tears to walk by a tree and feel its breathing, moved to tears to feel the essence of the Ocean, moved to tears to be emerged in the colors of the sunset, moved to tears to see an elder couple hugging…
While the tears were coming out of the core of my being, I felt that I was smiling too…
It must have been a weird sight…J I kept it hidden…I think so…J
I walked and saw a handicapped man sitting in his wheelchair on the path.
I had seen him before, but never dared to talk to him…
Today I just was so moved and felt intensely open and vulnerable…
I said to the man, who was aware I was passing him; “What a beautiful sunset.”
And he answered, without looking my direction, but just staring in the colors; “Ye.”
The ‘ye’ came from so deep that I was struck by it.
It was as if he was so much in joy and that the ‘ye’ came straight out of his heart into mine.
I walked by him and when I felt that, I started crying again. I will never forget that ’Ye’.

How beautiful was that!

10 meter (30 feet) further I saw a man lying down in a difficult position and I was just observing him.
 I figured he was trying to make a movie or picture of the sunset, so I walked around him in a big loop. He noticed that and asked:
“Did you really walk around me not to disturb me?”
I said;”Yes, of course.”
“Well, that is so kind of you to notice me doing this here.”
“Thank you”; I said; “I didn’t think you wanted to have my feet in your movie.”
Again I was so touched by this man’s love in what he was telling me.
Then people were blowing the ‘sunset horn’ (a tradition in Hawaii with sunset) and I got emotional because of that.
And then I saw the intense colors, so exquisite and I was stunned and crying about that.


 

I texted Mama-P:”I don’t know but I am crying with all what is in front of me, I am weird. People are responding to me in so a nice way… and I know it is not hormonal…

Her response was; “Your open self-loving heart is a huge space in which everything that shows up shines that light of love right back at you.”

Mmm how delicious was that…

Oh my

 

 

Love Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

Please visit my website and my wonderful art and bring it into your home to ‘flower up’ your space…with my beautiful COLORS!

My hike at La Perouse or the correct name Keone 'o'io

This morning I realized how magic my life really is.

Once I came out of the turquoise waters today I felt so amazingly blessed. How can I not be …I live on magical Maui! It’s an abundant paradise. Paradise is how life is on the whole planet.

Paradise is within ourselves, when we feel paradise…it is wherever we go.
Hawaii is within!

Point is to stay in the moment; it is then that you see the abundance of life everywhere.

Just look around you, it is FULL of abundance. Even looking into the sky and see the color blue is a splendor of abundance. In each moment when you feel disconnected from joy, look around you and bring yourself back to the abundance of this NOW moment.

In this moment it is ABSOLUTELY impossible to feel alone. The only way you can feel alone is when your mind tells you you are. But feel and look around you…

Ah today I was in K-bay and I looked to the turquoise water, the blue sky, the lava, the trees, the goats, the little butterflies playing in the wind…it was impossible to feel alone.
It is all me...everything… abundance…within and outside of me… J

I didn’t plan to I walk my favorite bay today. Suddenly I saw myself moving and moving more and more and before I knew it my legs moved me into a big hike…J
That’s how living in the moment is...you move from one moment to the other and the other and the other…and you smile…you look around you and you LIVE!
Oh my goodness, breathe because you live! Do you feel the ALIVENESS of the moment?

This is an important word in the story I am going to tell you…

Before I knew it I was on a quest today. I moved through layers of old belief systems and it was not something I had planned, it is something that was JUST HAPPENING.
I had worked with Mama P- (see other blogs (this is my mama-teacher) and with the work of Byron Katie about my block and fear for failure and the fear of becoming homeless.
When I was doing the Byron Katie work I saw that a lot of people had that problem and suddenly I didn’t feel alone anymore in my deepest fear J

I was digging last night, in doing the work and then talking to Mama-P about it, but there was something that wasn’t coming to the surface. Something I couldn’t see yesterday. Byron Katie says that we suffer because there is an underworld of belief systems that trigger over and over again. Something as a pattern that is playing over and over again, when something triggers it.

Mama P is so connected to me that it feels as her Inner self knows what to say to me and how she says it.
When I announced to do more work about my fear of being homeless and not having money, mama-P said ; “Forget about it!”

I asked; “Forget about it?”
“Yes, just forget about it!”
I was stunned because I am always open to dig deeper and deeper and I always want to know more about life…about existence, about love… and WORK on myself… sometimes I feel I work to much and just need to ‘Forget about it”.
So Ok, FORGET ABOUT IT…

In the morning when I was running thoughts came hunting me, LACKING thoughts…
Thoughts that bring me in fear for not having enough…
This time I just responded to them; “Forget about it!”
It was amazing to see that they actually stopped.
And I started laughing… J
It was so hilarious, to say to your fearful thoughts: “Forget about it!”…JJJ

10 Minutes later I got the breakthrough that I was seeking for for so long…
As Byron Katie says, if you do the work it just comes to the surface, just like that…and I believed with doing my work and talking to Mama-P it all just popped up this morning…
And maybe there is more, but I saw this:

I BEG.

Truly this is embarassing, but I could see it so clear. I could look into my past and see all the situations where I begged, and it went back to me as a baby. I begged for so much love, for milk, for attention…
I saw situations where I begged for love…
I saw how I created unconscious a disease anorexia nervosa to beg for attention…
It was clear I had to stop that THOUGHT in me that THOUGHT I had to beg, because I am so so…

This opening was amazing for me, because if I have a belief system inside of me like begging that is what I will get presented in my reality. A beggar is in lack all the time, so lack will show up. It has to, because that is my vibration.

I can only attract abundance when I AM abundance. And that I own when I see my magnificence, my true Nature…I don’t really have to do anything to achieve it, I am it already…

I just have to claim it, or even just be it!

When I started my quest today I kind of felt that this walk would liberate me of being the beggar; if I wanted too.

It was amazing...the hike was gorgeous, explicit…you will see the pictures…it is in that splendor that I realized that we can never be a beggar if we are in the moment. It is because we don’t see how much abundance there is, that we think we will be short…  Jesus Christ, Buddha, St Francis…all of them kind of went with not wanting any material wealth. So is Mama-P and I never understood that, until now…
I thought why would you not want all the material wealth if you know how to create it…but you know what I realized…I am getting it now, once you know you can have it, you see it is NOTHING.
It is not important… It is the paradox of life.
I just start to grasp it a little bit…

I called Mama-P and I was sharing my excitement with her and she told me this about begging…
“Thinking that finally I would be able to sell art or have love through begging is NOT LOVE!!!!
It is impossible to have abundance in a NO-LOVE situation.
It is ‘wanting’ something from somebody. That is never love!
Love is when you share your experiences with God and all people through your art in ALIVENESS.
Just painting and offering it is a flow of love and abundance then God has to respond in abundance.
She said that when I am in the ocean with turtles, dolphins or all creatures there I just share and I have an abundance of love, because they KNOW I don’t want anything from them.”

Waaaw…I walked further and this sank in more and more….

When I walked back I was so thirsty and hot and dove in a magical spot in the ocean, just feeling the freshness of the turquoise water over my skin. I felt the water supporting me when I floated on it.
Once more I wanted to dive in it and it is in that DIVE that I understood what Mama-P tries to teach me for so long… THE ALIVENESS…I felt the aliveness of the moment so deeply into the core of my being when I dove in the water. There is no other moment than that what is happening and you feel so alive, so precious so WORTHY and abundant.
When I came out of the water, dripping… I understood…nothing goes about getting something;
because if you have to get something, it is because something is short…

In my case if I paint for people to buy,
that is the energy of getting something…and that is not aliveness.
I paint because It is ALIVE in me and then I trust the Universe or God I get provided to do more of that; because if I paint in aliveness I GIVE LOVE to the whole Universe.
Aliveness is when you GIVE!
It is ALLOWING the GOD energy to stream through you…
When you are there your core is god’s core and vice versa.

When you feel ALIVE in the moment you give to GOD and God gives to you…

It is the Infinity symbol…

Pure abundance!

The aliveness and gratitude for each moment is the pure joy of being alive and is abundance itself.
FAITH !

You multiply the fish and the loaves of bread with being alive and GIVE GOD…
Giving God is giving you…No separation, only CONNECTION.

NOw i just have to be what i realized... more and more...

LoLOLOVE

Tamara rainbow

Please visit my website with my awesome art…

Oh by the way, what I realized today was that I can learn a lot from the Americans...instead of being shy for my art or myself, and hide it or hide me…I can be some more American…and be proud of my work…
I am doing my best to integrate the Hawaiian, American and Belgian qualities within myself… J
I try to have the Hawaiian, American and Belgian accent all in one sentence, haha
Kinda dinking I can pull that off…J
Thank you guys teaching me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aloha!!!

Baby turtles on Big beach

Little turtles on Big beach....

Babies …newborns all round me… new dolphin babies, new little tiny fish…babies babies and this I watched yesterday at Big Beach…when the last little baby turtle went into the ocean I was extremely moved by tears. All potential little Pinky’s (see other blogs of Pinky)

They say that they will have to face so many predators out there…. These little ones are born in the sand and climb out of their nest and have to make their way to the Ocean. The way itself is necessary to develop their ‘fin’ muscles. Is that not so with humans too, that we face difficulties in order to develop our INNER self muscles.

At some point I heard some people talking how tuff this little guys it have…and it is true if you look what they have to face: born in a hole in the sand, trying to get out of the egg, climbing out of the hole and making your way to the ocean, facing your first wave as that little tiny creature… amazing… But then I think, God/ the Universe must have known what she created! Their God’s self together with God…None of my business, right? How would I know why these baby turtles have to climb and push and run and swim and hide…

Here are the amazing pics that I took with my simple phone… You will see that people were walking between them when they were heading to the Ocean to get the crabs away… the first predators…

80 of them last night ….these 80 were the rest of the nest, others had made it already to the ocean by themselves…with an amazing sunset to activate their luck in their new life moving towards the Ocean…no way back to the nest. Time to fly with their own wings or fins! I hear a kid behind me; “Mom, what if they don’t like the water?” haha…then they really have a problem…

So beautiful so many people showed up...protecting these little honus to their new life...

They are so tiny, so gorgeous, so cute...Look to his tracks behind him/her!

Isn't that how we move through life? we move through obstacles to become one again...

Enjoy the ride and the wide Ocean...Right here and now!

LOVE TAMARA rainbow Visit my website www.rainbowsheart.com (Blogger was down and i had to make this in HTML, tehrefore no spaces between the pics or text, I am sorry for that)

Looking for PINKY

 

I see I am still looking for MY Pinky…
Well I learned today that you limit your Self if you want to have that or another experience again.
Anything that happens, how beautiful it is, is OVER.

It is in the past and wanting it again, is kind of returning into the past. I knew that, but I still was looking for her…today I decided to let the search go, because I understood that I LIMIT the Universe bringing me other experiences and surprises with being attached to have my past experience again…

It’s a no brainer…but we are still all human…

Anyway I am happy with or without Pinky, because in REALITY I am never without her.

What is reality anyway?
What if this all is a dream…everything is an illusion…
So I decided to really be in the moment and live my dream to the fullest.

I want to have connection with my center and I can only do that in the present moment!

Pinky was an extraordinary amazing thing that happened. And she is always with me no matter what. That miracle is inside of me.

Maybe I have something in my hands I don’t know off. I remember something that happened in Kaleakekakua bay about 5 years ago. I was living on Big Island and was so happy I was swimming with  dolphins every day. I went into the bay and one of my friends told me that there was a small group with a baby and its mom. The baby looked very sick he said, she was pink and it seemed as if she was inflamed or so.
I swam in the bay and I only saw my friend W.
There was nobody else.
W. was a Vietnam veteran and was living at the bay for about 20 years. He would come down every day and he knew every single dolphin that came in the bay.
Suddenly I spotted the small group of dolphins and I saw the mom and baby. And yes the baby looked very sick. W. was next to me, and we just looked under water.
Suddenly I just felt to hold my hands towards the mama and baby dolphin who were 10 meters away from us. It was my instinct, I do that with everything.
Giving energy, I call it.

Suddenly the mom came closer and what was unusual she let the baby between her and us!
And what was more unusual she left the baby behind with us, close to my hands!

And what was more unusual she started swimming away and made some spins in the air and then came back!

It all happened in a few minutes, but it was so unusual amazing.
She came back for her baby and swam a little further.

W. took of his mask and asked me:”What did you do?”

“I don’t know”; I answered.
“I really don’t know”
“I just knew I had to do it”: I said to him.
“In all these years I swim with dolphins”; W. said; ”I never saw a mama dolphin leaving her baby behind. I never saw her making loops as she was happy happy and come back to get it…???”

“I really don’t know”: I said again.
Me too…kind of speechless of what just happened…
We were kind of both shocked in a good way…

The next day when I came into the bay, there was the mama and baby…

and was it because of my hands?
Or just because of the intention of LOVE?
Or…
or?
I don’t know…but the baby was healthy and grey!
And they were super active and happy! J

When you see somebody in need, if it is a human, plant or animal…let God know that he/she can send energy to that person/animal/plant to heal. Let the Universe know you are a vessel of love and that your body and hands are God’s hands and body…

That’s what I do and then just let it happen…and know that all is well… J no need to know if it works, just trusting your inner Guidance that says you need to do it and then just DO IT!

We are all healers…We are love, that’s our true Nature…
With love you can do anything!

Love!

Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

CUTIFUL Pinky!

This is a new painting!!! It is PINKY's experience...

This painting is my inner representation of what happened with me, when a little turtle asked my love and offered his or hers. It is hard to describe in words what happened…
I went into the ocean and I kind of was sad and feeling scared…the same old stuff…scared to be homeless… and not wanting to give up the passion I feel inside to do my art. The passion I feel to be me and to not compromise…but it takes courage sometimes to do so…and sometimes I lose it. Then I get very scared and that day I did. It was as if the Ocean was black instead of turquoise. I almost gave up…the more I was giving up myself, the ‘sadder’ I came…
At one point I even left my friends because I didn’t want them to be near my dark desperate energy…

I went swimming on my own and I prayed to God...I screamed and yelled in my snorkel to help me.
10 minutes later a little turtle showed up and it was as if I swam from a dark ocean into an ocean full of light.

How I can describe it was …it was as if my thoughts, my mind was surrounded by a thick dark wall…
I couldn’t see any salvation , or any possibilities of rescue. The moment I saw the little honu, the wall fell down and instantly everything was light and I couldn’t feel any fear anymore.
I was just feeling love.
I witnessed this on a distance and it was amazing to do so. I could see that it was my mind that made me sad. It was my mind that put up the wall and limited every feeling of love. I couldn’t feel any love.
My mind wasn’t in the present moment, but was projecting images from the past to the future and the future to the past. It was comparing situations and send fearful feelings to the future.
It was a disaster and it was so so painful.

When I saw the turtle…my mind fell away and I was only in the present moment. It was as if I fell in Gods arms. There was no past, no tomorrow anymore. There was only love love love…I was amazed to experience this as the witness and see how it really works!!!!

In the present moment lies all abundance! There is so much…too much in fact to absorb all…we come in the fear of lack when we move away from that present moment. We go from our hearts to our minds and there is no feeling anymore…

Aaaah
here is my story of PINKY, my beloved new friend. I don’t know if she is female or if he is male.
Here it is…

Pinky

Is a small honu
with a magic touch
one day I was in such despair
I could hardly breathe
my heart was so dark
and hopeless
I thought I was dying
I prayed to God to help me

Pinky showed up…
just like that…
the smallest turtle I ever saw

It was as if God heard me and sent pinky RIGHT away…

the darkness disappeared and light came into my heart

There was Pinky!
I knew it was Grace

unusual the little honu stayed with me so close I could touch her with one finger…
little turtles normally shy away… very very fast sometimes

She didn’t
It was as if she asked to be touched…
(was I asking to be touched?? J)

I did ask God to touch me
to safe me
and here I am..

with Pinky,

Little honu

the moment I touched Pinky was a moment everything stopped
It was just love I felt…all LOVE>>>>
she started turning around caressing her shell against my hand…
I didn’t have to do anything…
then just to hold my hand there…
I saw her little butt going in the air,
then her little head…
she turned and turned…
in circles..
pushing her shell against my hand…
now I started moving my hand in circles on her shell
and she lOVED it

Her circles became faster and faster…

I moved my hand away to see what she would do…

And she followed my hand

As my hand was a magnet…
she didn’t want to lose my hand…
she was turning circles and circles
with her butt in the air, her little head in the air…
plus we were turning in circles clockwise or vice versa…
it must have been funny to see…
she would swim between my legs
because we went so fast…
just searching for my hand…
one time she bumped into my leg and she swam away for about 6 feet…
prrrrfttt making bubbles
little honu
so cute
I called her cutiful
the whole time
CUTIFUL!

I thought she would leave now,
but no…pinky looked at me and swam as the fastest turtle ever to my hand…
it was as if she had confiscated my hand for EVER…
she would do this for another 20 minutes…
together we were spinning circles…
she would stick her little head out and take a breath
to just continue turning circles on my hand…

More circles
I cried in my mask
who was healing who here?

I now started moving my fingers around her shell and she loved it so much!
I touched her little head very soft and she kind of pulled it a little in to feel it more,
then she would turn again and again..
Her little fins would touch my arms and so I touched very careful one of her fins in front and she just ‘kinda’ of gave me a high five.

Then I touched her little feet in the back and Pinky just enjoyed it more and more…

Turning circles…

And circles…

we went on for a long time, my hands were getting like old grandma’s hands and my body started getting cold…
something in me felt to let Pinky go…
she wasn’t planning to let me go though…
and I didn’t really wanted to go..EVER…
when I would take my hand away, she would follow it and turn circles…
more!
I heard voices and swam away a little and she followed me…
Little pinky was swimming with me…
Oh God… what a blessing!
I could not feel any fear anymore…it was all gone…

I was just in the moment…
I could never have made this up…
I mean this is pure abundance, but this kind of abundance I can’t make up…that’s God’s creation.
Well, I guess it is all God’s creation.
When we let go of all fear and LET GOD…it is amazing what shows up in our lives…amazing…
Pinky…
Pinky
I had to let go of Pinky, I was frozen…
I promised to come back later…tomorrow and the day after and after…

I left
and then I thought but how will I ever find her back?
Shit… maybe I didn’t look enough to recognize her from another turtle…

How will you find me back?
“I will see your light as I did right now”; Pinky whispered.
“You are wiser, then I am”; I replied.
J

I swam pretty far to get warm again and I felt so blessed…although I wished I had looked better to all her little distinctive spots…
But I let it go and swam further in total bliss…

GRATITUDE…

I realized it would be hard to ever see Pinky again…every day the ocean is a different Ocean…
Those little honu’s can tuck themselves so good away…hard to see…
I accepted the gift of this MOMENT today…
Pinky will always be with me where ever I go…
She is in my hEART… she will be the pinky clouds in my beautiful blue sky! (see other blogs)

When I swam back I saw two other little turtles and my heart would start ’BOUNKING’ harder in the hope it was Pinky.

No Pinky though…
Ooh (lip down L)

I MINDED myself to be grateful with what I got and to not want more….
Oooh J

I was happy, so happy…I have witnessed my state of being with fearful thoughts and the pain and suffering that sprouted from that. And I have seen the pain abruptly stop when I came in the TRUTH of the moment. It could see that my painful thoughts were a separate entity within me, it was not who I truly was…the true one was the One in the MOMENT with Pinky, FULL of LOVE.
This time I had the grace and wonder of pinky to show this to me...next time I will be able to recognize it myself and to come back in the NOW. There is so much magnificence in the NOW.
Look around you!!!
Look in you!
Breathe!

I once experienced to see the whole of the universe in a dew drop of water…when I saw that I came in total bliss…I could also see how important that dew drop was and see that if that dew drop is so important in the eyes of God, I was too…

Same I experienced with Miss Pinky…If I can be honored by Pinky to give me this experience I must be worthy to have that…J
I guess it is time to put my two legs on this Earth and to plant my flag of uniqueness and being in this dimension on Earth and to say I have the right to live and to have my place… and I have the right to be happy…

Mmm I was swimming further with all those empowering thoughts and GUESS WHAT!!!!!

There was PINKY!!!!

Pinky looked at me and swam as fast as she could to find MY HAND again and there we turned in circles again!

Circles of love and more circles of love….LOLOLOVE!!!!!

It is then when I gave her her name,
now I observed her well enough to recognize her..
Oh what was she beautiful!
She is my CUTIFUL!!!

PINKY,  I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

CUTIFUL  PINKY

With tears in my eyes, tears of gratitude and immense love I want to let you know that you changed my life forever.
You wanted to be so so touched by me…but I wanted to be so so TOUCHED by you..
You touched my heart so intensely…
when a fear of lack comes up now, you pop up in my memory…never ever you will be without me…
Or I will be without you…
I am you and you are me…
I love you so much, Pinky…


Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com