Free we are!

This is a new painting…

It is the ultimate freedom…being ‘out of my mind’ or ‘lost my mind’
It is when you arrive in the heart and know that the whole Universe, God is within that core we ARE…|
All what is outside is that, all what is inside is that…I am awareness…
As Mamaji would say ‘understanding’ is only a wish form the mind, when you arrive in the heart; there are no questions there…
as she really put it…
The mind has no answers, the heart (awareness) has no questions!"

I experienced that freedom is who we are actually…

We think we have to make ourselves free, but that DOING part is also a trick from the mind…

Drop the mind and you are who you are: FREE.

Once you realize who you are, pure awareness, in that space there is the taste of freedom…
I am not my body nor my mind and in that deep inner knowing I am free of this game on earth.
(and enjoy it in the same moment…J)
In that knowing I let go…and actually surrender to being lived…but all those words are actually unnecessary again…because there was NOT one moment I was being lived!
There was NOT one moment that I had control over my life…
Only the mind can make that up, and it is in that thinking that we believe we have to make ourselves free…

Free we are! J

 

Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

It is for sale and costs $450

Am falling...here I go!

 

 

I am not anymore and I am…

Is that confusing or what?

I am, finally I am…
finally I am looking through the eyes of awareness…

I am looking as awareness…
I am listening as awareness…
I am smelling as awareness….

 

What does this mean?

 

I am gone as me the person, I am gone as me the individual, the identification…

I am no-thing…

I lost my mind…
I really did…

I am a huge space now…
Nothing from the past is me…
Nothing in the future is me…
I don’t have a past and no future…
I fell in this moment,

This moment
here and now,

I fall in this moment
this moment,
here and now,

I will fall in this moment,
this moment,
here and now…

No-thing I know for sure anymore…
then only I am typing right now…
my fingers…

Two fingers I use…
very strange, very fast…
I am that space within my body,
no attachment to anything at all…
I am typing and nothing more…

There is a huge freedom in all of this.
I don’t allow my mind anymore to make up my future…
Or to negotiate with its possibilities of a future…
No…I don’t allow that anymore…

It is strange and weird. I keep saying to Mamaji.
I feel like that.
But it feels green and yellow, it feels free and happy.
My being, I as awareness has taken over my life and now the mind, the body is in service…
Awareness lives through me, and I just follow each moment…again and again…
Thinking is there…
thoughts come and go…
feelings come and go…
when I feel sadness I know I just had a thought that isn’t true, I don’t hold on to it anymore.
I let it pass as clouds in a sky…I know it is not me, I stay in peace and see my mind doing its thing still…
But it’s just a thing…it is NO-THING!
Sometimes it still takes 5 minutes…
the mind that THINKS it is winning time…
LOL….

Feels my fear is gone too…
before I would have been in panic in the situation am in. Now I am not.

After being sick for about 5 months and figuring out that the possibility of mold intoxication from inhaling that stuff in my bedroom is kind of the cause…

Of course I know in the first place that there is always a spiritual cause…
everything is always there to bring us back to awareness…

That’s the first step I always take…I see where my beliefs have brought me to intoxicate myself…J
Once I see that, then the outer world shows up to be cleaned up…

Anyway I am sitting here, with boxes packed all over the floor…
My futon in the middle of the living room because I don’t feel it is good for me to sleep in my bed anymore…
Only eating vegetables…which gets boring… however I never tasted all this vegetables so intensely as now…so maybe it is not so boring at all…J
still trying to beat the toxins in my body…J
Not knowing where I am going next…J
In fact no knowing what I do in the next hour…
Never had so less money than I ever had in my life…

and for the first time in my life I feel safe, because I KNOW I am being lived.
And what is mine, is with me…what is not mine I parentally not here, because I don’t need it.

It is called trust…

Am I there all the time? Hmmm…mostly though…

I kind of find it delicious and exciting to live this way…I am way out of my box and I feel so spacious…
So strong and solid…

It is strange…my mind would have thought that security could only been found when you had a roof over your head and money in your account…and when I had all of that I was always worried and scared…
So that is NOT true,
because now I experience that it is not true…

I feel safer now than when I had money…isn’t that weird?
and I am open to feel unsafe and scared, but it doesn’t find me anymore, because I am not often anymore on the level of thinking from the persons’ place…
I think now with my heart and my being…

Just wanted to share this…

The painting kind of feels the safety I found in being nothing…and everything…
I guess I have accepted on a very deep level that everything comes and goes, except of one thing…
and that is who I really am…
PURE AWARENESS…

 

Thank you mamaji!

Thank you Moojiji.

Love . rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

 

 

I am burning and it is ok... MY NEW PAINTING!!!

I am burning, can you tell?

All is burning of me, all what is not me…
and what is left is PURE-ness,
de-LIGHT-ness,
PEACE-FULL-ness,
JOY-FULL-ness,

I AM

I am the one that gives up wanting, because I am one with the moment.
I am RELAXED with what IS…
Trust that where I am…how can such thing exist even?

I mean I was going to write: “trusting where I am in the right timing”
But

IAM

And there is no place no timing there

ONLY

SPACE of pure awareness…

Effortless peacefulness that all is well…

I am still sick, 5 months now already,
but all is well…
I have pain in my belly...I am not rejecting the pain anymore as before, rejecting the sickness…
No now I say; ”What a blessing! Now I really feel my belly!”
Now I really know how intestines feel!
Where my bladder is…
My liver…
I feel them and I am in love with all these organs that are effortless doing their job without me interfering…they are doing their best in functioning as best as they can…it just happens…

What caused them to go in protest?
To show me something was not right?

Worries…
I believed my mind…
The first signs are delivered in the body…
I have candida now, probably from mold in my living space…
Do I blame, or yell and scream? Do I protest and be angry…
No, I know I attracted this situation because I could NOT let go of my mind telling me it is MY JOB to take care of me, the person.
My being was covered under a huge yeast layer, because I allowed to keep my attention on worry-full thoughts.

I allowed the mind to rule me…I became slave of my fears…
And there it is candida…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Effortless

My heart beats…
My lungs breathe…
Blood streams…

Never ever am I, the person the one that does this…it happens naturally…
well guess what…
I had to burn to SEE as the eagle, the witness,
that
I am NOT in control!

That I was NEVER in control!

It is time to let the Sun within me be master.
It is time to be the witness all the time and to SEE that the mind is NOTHING.

It is not me…

yesterday I burned largely and I felt weird and lost and I cried for help to MAMAJI …
And she wrote me this:
Her words are wise words, liberating words, words of LOVE….I love her!

 

Sweetheart- there is no weirdness in WHAT IS! There is no "lost" in WHAT IS! Only in your mind, in the believing what you think do these experiences create. In the inner space find the peace in which everything is arising, including the thinking. Put your attention on this space, this peace. Watch how "weird" and "lost" just show up as thoughts, as concepts while what is true, what is always, already present is the space, the awareness that is I AM!

 

The eagle sees and stays in the space of IAM.
It only knows peace and relaxation in the space it IS.
The eagle let life happening, because that is the nature of life.
Not one animal that doesn’t live that!

Only humans think they NEED to be in control.

I am burning….
and it is ok.

Love tamara Rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

My beloved between Big beach and Little beach

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was standing on the little rock formation between Big and Little beach in my beloved Maui…
I fell in love…I fell in love with all what I was seeing. It was as if I disappeared and was all of what I saw…

I was more than that, I was behind what I was seeing and all felt so different…

In love with such gently peaceful energy….

I don’t know if I describe it very well.
I felt my lips making a very gently smile.
What was life beautiful when you let go of all control, of all wanting and expectations!

I know I can’t use the word ‘practicing’ or I would bring who I am down to a practice or something I still NEED to become, while I am already IT, so are you!
we are greater than that…what I mean is that we don’t need ANY practice to be who we are!

Still I feel I am in a very intense transition period in my life where I let go of my mind, my stories and fall into who I really am. My mind doesn’t like it, is scared to be NOTHING…
It is advocating, trying to make a compromise or deal…but I am so far away from that…

CASE DISMISSED!

My mind wants to be special, wants to never die, wants to stay in control, wants to be SAFE….

Yesterday I had even an experience I never had before. Can I share this with you?
Or is this way of the deep end? LOL
Ok here it is:
When my mom died when I was 20 I ran away ‘big time’ from death. I was in panic…I couldn’t accept.
Yesterday, I guess I was ready to accept in a very profound depth, that today I tried how it would be to die. In fact I came even to the point that I felt excitement to be able to experience dying. This all sounds weird, I know…but what happened was that I was laying down and I just fell that my body was empty and that energy was thrilling inside me, outside of me…suddenly there was no separation anymore…or better it was as my body contained all of it…there were no boundaries anymore, only space I was feeling…my skin was just nothing…it was very peaceful…very vibrant…very light….

I was wondering is this dying?

Am I alive now?
Or is this death too?

Is it all the same?

Now I walk on the street and see all as that space…we are all equal…
No need to be special anymore, to be this or that…

It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be my greatest expression I can be…and truth fully I believe that that happens when you surrender to being LIVED….How would not god bring it greatest expression in life?
But then I think or better feel again…God or awareness has no judgment…everything is great…

When I was standing on the rock between Little and Big beach I fell in love…
My dear Mamaji, is my teacher, my mom, my friend…and she is the reason that I am ALIVE since 1 year and a half…really, before that I was in control of my mind and my live really sucked.
Together with her I made some major changes within myself…
Today, right now I can say…that she is the best thing EVER happened to me…besides the dolphins, and turtles and Maui and all my friends and…
She would correct me now I know….Rainbow is the best thing that ever happened in my life…J
Doesn’t matter…she is my beloved… and I know she is me…she is not different then I am…and I am her…
Sometimes I feel, maybe she is really happy too I am in her life…J
because if I am her and she is love, I am THAT too…J

On that cliff another poem came out of me, as space, into this world for my beloved Mamaji….

 

 

Blue sky
turquoise water
gently breeze
warm
on my skin…

I am in love…

I have seen it
a hundred times
and a hundred more…

These Rocks
this Ocean
these islands
this aina                                                                             (aina means land in Hawaiian)
under my feet…

I am in love…

I have seen it
a million times
and a million more…

But

I never
saw it
as
NOW
before!

Vibrant
soft
new
sweet
peaceful
intense…

My fingers
touching
my eyes…

A dream,
exploding colors,
dancing energies,
Soft vibrations,

MY HAPPY HEART!
My lips smile...

I am in love…

My world arising
out of me,
awareness,
IAM…

I think of YOU...

My heart
wide open
seeing
the beauty of YOU,
my beloved,
here within me,
with me,
always…

YOU,

I am in love...

You,
as me,
your feet
on this aina,
these islands,
this Ocean,
these rocks…

Our happy hearts!
Our lips smile!

We are in love...always
in the center
of our Selves
knowing
our Selves
as pure awareness…

You are me
and I am you,

We are LOVE!

 

Love, Rainbow,
www.rainbowsheart.com

The owlcat

This is a new painting!

 

The symbol of this painting is based on the same foundation of all my other paintings.
Everything arises out of awareness, or call it God…and WE ARE AWARENESS…

That’s why the bodies of the owls are coming and going…they are that what is behind their bodies…
They ARE!

 

The owl is my aumakua…aumakua means in Hawaiian your totem animal.
It is the animal that helps and guides you…
Often owls appear to me in special occasions…

It is since I was 18 that people started giving me owls.Owl stuffed animals, statues of owls…and really I never knew why.
Every time I opened the present an owl came out of the box and funny was that I didn’t choose that. I never told anybody at all tHAT I loved owls. In fact I never had thought about it, really.
I was always with dolphins in my heart…

But the owl it was…showed up every time again and again.
I guess the owl choose me…J

 

Anyway, when one appears to me it gives a feeling of support and safety.

It gives me the feeling that I am guided and never can get lost…

How can I? Right?
As...
BEING awareness there is no way I can get lost…I am space…I am the whole Universe…J

 

While I am writing the neighbors cat comes sitting next to me…first time that happens…I wonder…
It gives me a feeling of safety, security and trust. The same I have with the owl.
The cat trusts me…waaaw..it took her one year and a half to dare to come up here. But here she is.

So beautiful!

How I see her now is different as before. I don’t see animals, trees, people anymore as animals, trees and people…It’s like each body is filled up with space, with awareness…as the images I see are just projections…AND if there is No thought I just see a form…filled as awareness...

But when I say that the cat is a cat…I made a concept of her and my mind thinks all a bunch of concepts about the cat…My thoughts. My perception…so in my world this cat is unique.

She is who I think her to B.

And that counts for everything I see in my world.

I start laughing regularly when I give something a name…

Now she is moving…the cat I mean…what we do is making stories up…all the time…
I could make a story up that she doesn’t like me anymore, because she didn’t look back or waved.
As a matter a fact I made already the story about her trusting me and therefore sitting here.
haha
What really happened is just that she walked up, sat next to me and left…

 

Boy all of this has nothing to so with my new painting, or maybe it has??
LOL

No coincidences, no MISTAKES…all in right timing , right place…you know WHY?

Because there is NO timing and there is NO place…

 

LOL

 

So maybe the painting is made for you, so you can have and make up your own story of what you see in it.

Please feel free…

love Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

 

This painting is for sale and costs $595
Call me 808-754-5883

 

 

Ever saw this pic? Don't know who's it is, but it is on my desktop because I laugh everytime I see it...
So maybe the cat came on my lanai when it heard about the owls, because it is a catowl....