Let’s just be happy. Ye, why not …isn’t it?
It is as if our culture is always WORKING towards being
happy.
Working…aaah instead of just BEING happy!
I had times I was happy in my life, but the last days I never felt so happy then I ever felt before.
It is as if I came to BE at the center of my life.
I feel so great here in this center space...it is not small, no contrarily it is everything. I feel so expanded and SO NEW. That is really the feeling I have.
Working…aaah instead of just BEING happy!
I had times I was happy in my life, but the last days I never felt so happy then I ever felt before.
It is as if I came to BE at the center of my life.
I feel so great here in this center space...it is not small, no contrarily it is everything. I feel so expanded and SO NEW. That is really the feeling I have.
When I talked to my Mama P-Yoda today I said; ’I don’t know
what is happening with me, but I feel so new. I never felt as this before. It
feels great though. I feel so secure and confidant and so so happy…J
I know I am a seeker of truth and that always was the power behind my deep searching. It is a longing in me I have since my mom died. I refused to eat after I heard she was sick, I wanted to know the truth of life and now about 20 years later I feel I taste a little bit of this truth.
In my blog ‘I am space’ I wrote how I felt the last days and since then it is as if the smile on my face can’t be erased anymore. It is as if I tasted God. It is as if I am God. It is as if my HEART emerged with God and that I finally came home.
I know I am a seeker of truth and that always was the power behind my deep searching. It is a longing in me I have since my mom died. I refused to eat after I heard she was sick, I wanted to know the truth of life and now about 20 years later I feel I taste a little bit of this truth.
In my blog ‘I am space’ I wrote how I felt the last days and since then it is as if the smile on my face can’t be erased anymore. It is as if I tasted God. It is as if I am God. It is as if my HEART emerged with God and that I finally came home.
Am I there all the time?
No, I wake up scared… I am having intense nightmares lately, but after 20 minutes I can bring myself back to my center. But maybe those dreams is a cleansing…J well that is what I make of it!
I guess you won’t be able to understand my biggest fear, if I don’t express it and it might be a fear that many people have. I have fear to be homeless and to starve. (Funny if you know I had like 4 or 5 times anorexia nervosa) Even when I had a lot of money that fear was in me. I remember me one year that I paid the rent a year up front, just to be sure to not have to deal each month with that fear.
No, I wake up scared… I am having intense nightmares lately, but after 20 minutes I can bring myself back to my center. But maybe those dreams is a cleansing…J well that is what I make of it!
I guess you won’t be able to understand my biggest fear, if I don’t express it and it might be a fear that many people have. I have fear to be homeless and to starve. (Funny if you know I had like 4 or 5 times anorexia nervosa) Even when I had a lot of money that fear was in me. I remember me one year that I paid the rent a year up front, just to be sure to not have to deal each month with that fear.
And then here in Hawaii I had a few times I didn’t really
have a home. For a whole while I lived out of my suitcase and then I lived kind
of in bizarre survival circumstances, where I didn’t really had a home and kind
of slept in my shop or somebody else’s shop on the floor.
The fear is still there and I really want to get it out with the root, because it doesn’t serve me. It only brings LACK into my life. I am facing the possibility to become homeless and it really scares me. But the last 5 days I flow with it and I found peace in the unknown.
Or in other words; “I don’t know it anymore.”
The fear is still there and I really want to get it out with the root, because it doesn’t serve me. It only brings LACK into my life. I am facing the possibility to become homeless and it really scares me. But the last 5 days I flow with it and I found peace in the unknown.
Or in other words; “I don’t know it anymore.”
And I saw that I can only give my troublesome thoughts to
God anymore, because really…
I don’t know it anymore.
And when I do that… a trust or faith so deeply comes in my heart. It is as something whispers in my ears; “Wait and see and you will see a world of infinite possibilities unfold in front of your eyes, trust.
You be the magnificent one and be at the center of your life and it might be surprised what will be coming into your life. Don’t see it as black/ white.
Homeless/ not homeless…there are many other possibilities, OPPURTUNITIES…LEAP and have FAITH.”
So I guess…that is what I am BEING right now..I am being ‘the leap of FAITH.’
In this action of leaping I heard from deep inside that I have to heal my ancestors. I have to dig up the bones, see through the lies and bury them again.
I don’t know it anymore.
And when I do that… a trust or faith so deeply comes in my heart. It is as something whispers in my ears; “Wait and see and you will see a world of infinite possibilities unfold in front of your eyes, trust.
You be the magnificent one and be at the center of your life and it might be surprised what will be coming into your life. Don’t see it as black/ white.
Homeless/ not homeless…there are many other possibilities, OPPURTUNITIES…LEAP and have FAITH.”
So I guess…that is what I am BEING right now..I am being ‘the leap of FAITH.’
In this action of leaping I heard from deep inside that I have to heal my ancestors. I have to dig up the bones, see through the lies and bury them again.
It is very interesting that that comes today, this day July
21st because this is INDEPENDENCE DAY in Belgium. We came independent in 1830 from
the Netherlands. Belgium is a very young country.
We got our first KING on July 21st 1831, King Leopold and until this day we celebrate this in Belgium.
Today I connected the whole time with my ancestors. I have a deep wound with my mom around food and starvation. Or at least that is what I BELIEVED I had.
She had told me that when I was a baby and cried for food, she was told by the doctors to not give me any. And when I was older I experienced hunger at home. My mom always told us we were small eaters. And one time she told me how difficult financial it was to maintain this family. I never understood it because I saw that my parents were kind of wealthy. How could that be…anyway I feel that here I picked up a distortions that I carried further in my adult life; that even when I have a lot of money I am poor.
I see now that my panic and fear for being homeless, comes from there….
Also knowing that my parents were children from parents who lived in the Second World War where there was a GREAT lack of everything.
I realized today that I was not only healing my first ancestor’s blood line as my mom and grandparents (my grandpa was in a concentration camp), but that I might have to take responsibility in my piece of the healing of Belgium and its people.
As I said before, Belgium is a country that only exists from 1830 and before that we were Flanders and before that we were the Belgium tribe, etc…anyway just to say that my inheritance always had to fight for their existence. They kind of always were defeated.
I feel a deep suffering of ‘no belonging’ running through my veins. Belgium or Flanders was always suppressed by other nations. The Spanish, the French, The Dutch, the Germans, the Ostrich,…they all came and took away our HOME, our safety, our security.
We got our first KING on July 21st 1831, King Leopold and until this day we celebrate this in Belgium.
Today I connected the whole time with my ancestors. I have a deep wound with my mom around food and starvation. Or at least that is what I BELIEVED I had.
She had told me that when I was a baby and cried for food, she was told by the doctors to not give me any. And when I was older I experienced hunger at home. My mom always told us we were small eaters. And one time she told me how difficult financial it was to maintain this family. I never understood it because I saw that my parents were kind of wealthy. How could that be…anyway I feel that here I picked up a distortions that I carried further in my adult life; that even when I have a lot of money I am poor.
I see now that my panic and fear for being homeless, comes from there….
Also knowing that my parents were children from parents who lived in the Second World War where there was a GREAT lack of everything.
I realized today that I was not only healing my first ancestor’s blood line as my mom and grandparents (my grandpa was in a concentration camp), but that I might have to take responsibility in my piece of the healing of Belgium and its people.
As I said before, Belgium is a country that only exists from 1830 and before that we were Flanders and before that we were the Belgium tribe, etc…anyway just to say that my inheritance always had to fight for their existence. They kind of always were defeated.
I feel a deep suffering of ‘no belonging’ running through my veins. Belgium or Flanders was always suppressed by other nations. The Spanish, the French, The Dutch, the Germans, the Ostrich,…they all came and took away our HOME, our safety, our security.
Today when I was walking at sunset, a song came in my heart
and I just sang it (I do that regularly)
I sing than from my Soul to the Soul of the pain. Today it was the pain of my mom and her insecurity, the insecurity of my Grand ma and the Insecurity of my country Belgium.
I sing than from my Soul to the Soul of the pain. Today it was the pain of my mom and her insecurity, the insecurity of my Grand ma and the Insecurity of my country Belgium.
When I sing for the pain, I recognize it. I give it
validation and I listen to the Soul of the pain. I listen and often the pain disappears….the
pain becomes love.
It becomes love, because I see through the lie it is holding.
Where there is pain and suffering there is a lie.
LACK is a lie. Feeling of NO BELONGING is a lie. INSECURITY is a lie.
It becomes love, because I see through the lie it is holding.
Where there is pain and suffering there is a lie.
LACK is a lie. Feeling of NO BELONGING is a lie. INSECURITY is a lie.
When you are in the center of the Universe there is only abundance.
That is the truth!
Can a whole nation experience a lie together?
YES I believe that you come to Earth to learn your specific lesson.
Can a whole nation experience a lie together?
YES I believe that you come to Earth to learn your specific lesson.
It is no coincidence I am born in Belgium; a country that
suffers with fears around security and self VALUE. (and them I am not even
going to touch the languages issues we have in Belgium J)
I believe that each Belgium person can help to liberate the country, heal the past… by standing at the center of their life in TRUE ABUNDANCE!
I believe I am celebrating for the first time my TRUE INDEPENDENCE today!!!
An independence that is celebrated in abundance!
I guess you get the whole picture…
Now I see through the lies,
I am free,
tomorrow do a ceremony for my ancestors and burry the bones again.
I believe that each Belgium person can help to liberate the country, heal the past… by standing at the center of their life in TRUE ABUNDANCE!
I believe I am celebrating for the first time my TRUE INDEPENDENCE today!!!
An independence that is celebrated in abundance!
I guess you get the whole picture…
Now I see through the lies,
I am free,
tomorrow do a ceremony for my ancestors and burry the bones again.
It always starts with one person , right….
I am honored to be a Belgian, because we are so humble!
No comments:
Post a Comment