Oh my God, from the hangover I went to being really sick. I felt it entering my body yesterday around 11pm. So conscious I felt it entering my body... An hour before I was still alive and kicking. 5 Minutes later…zoep sick.
I must say I had an agreement with God that the anger that I released would not come back to me in outside experiences. I had asked that explicit. I had something like ‘Ohoh’ that will be BANG energy, if that comes back to me…
I have learned that our thoughts are very powerful and that we create in a blink of an eye.
I had said to God that I didn’t want screaming yelling people on my path, no police, no sharks,…. J
I guess this was the result J,
great. Oh well, always trusting your own journey, right…J haha
(laugh green= Belgian expression for sarcastic laughter)
Yesterday was a day that, I feel now, had to happen.
When I look back to it I have a feeling that this all is according to the divine plan. It was last week that I truly deeply understood that I had to live my life in FAITH. No more doubt-full thoughts…those are fake anyway…just thoughts… J
For years I was pushing or controlling my life and suddenly I saw how everything was FAKE.
I mean, there is nothing to push or to control! It is all an illusion! So I was pulling and controlling AIR! J
That insight made me so happy last week!
Really from one thing came the other and I feel that I am now in the eye of the storm. That is how it feels to me.
I am peaceful, I know deep inside this is a blessed change and I am just riding it.
(laugh green= Belgian expression for sarcastic laughter)
Yesterday was a day that, I feel now, had to happen.
When I look back to it I have a feeling that this all is according to the divine plan. It was last week that I truly deeply understood that I had to live my life in FAITH. No more doubt-full thoughts…those are fake anyway…just thoughts… J
For years I was pushing or controlling my life and suddenly I saw how everything was FAKE.
I mean, there is nothing to push or to control! It is all an illusion! So I was pulling and controlling AIR! J
That insight made me so happy last week!
Really from one thing came the other and I feel that I am now in the eye of the storm. That is how it feels to me.
I am peaceful, I know deep inside this is a blessed change and I am just riding it.
I am not in charge, but the Universe is.
I had some thoughts of regret for the anger I had felt yesterday towards CL.
At the end it always comes back to us of course….It is all so simple. Others are in your life to show you your projections. Cl. (see “ménage a trois” blogs) played her role the show me what to NOT want anymore. When we are in the middle of the drama, we are sometimes so identified with the role we are playing that we forget that we gave the script to the ones outside of us, of who we are to ourselves.
If we beat ourselves up, there we go we hand the script to be beaten up. So simple is it.
You can never change the other, only your Self. And that is good news! We are the power!
I had some thoughts of regret for the anger I had felt yesterday towards CL.
At the end it always comes back to us of course….It is all so simple. Others are in your life to show you your projections. Cl. (see “ménage a trois” blogs) played her role the show me what to NOT want anymore. When we are in the middle of the drama, we are sometimes so identified with the role we are playing that we forget that we gave the script to the ones outside of us, of who we are to ourselves.
If we beat ourselves up, there we go we hand the script to be beaten up. So simple is it.
You can never change the other, only your Self. And that is good news! We are the power!
Oh my god, you can’t imagine what is flying of me today.
It is as if all my old sticky ‘insane’ belief systems are
just vanishing.
Because you know what; “THEY ARE NOT TRUE!” I see so through the whole game…today.
I am standing as the ‘IAM’ identity in the eye of the storm and surrender now, to whatever needs to go…it is as if I can’t stop it anymore.
My throat, my nose, my ears...it is as everything is burned…aaah
I feel that my angry thoughts caused inflammatory in my body.
Because you know what; “THEY ARE NOT TRUE!” I see so through the whole game…today.
I am standing as the ‘IAM’ identity in the eye of the storm and surrender now, to whatever needs to go…it is as if I can’t stop it anymore.
My throat, my nose, my ears...it is as everything is burned…aaah
I feel that my angry thoughts caused inflammatory in my body.
My body is always innocent and goes where the MIND goes.
That is why we have in our society so many sick people…our MINDS are sick before our bodies.
Open minds, open hearts and the hospitals are going to be empty…
JJ
That is why we have in our society so many sick people…our MINDS are sick before our bodies.
Open minds, open hearts and the hospitals are going to be empty…
JJ
It is as if I spin around and all my beliefs get splashed
out of me…woeha…
being sick doesn’t really stop me…although I stopped my mind to push…
that is in fact the grand cause of all our problems.
Remember that I liberated myself of having to save the world last week?
Then on Monday I learned that I don’t HAVE to love everybody.
Then yesterday I learned I could express my anger.
We should make a special pillow for that J with the words “NO thank you!”
being sick doesn’t really stop me…although I stopped my mind to push…
that is in fact the grand cause of all our problems.
Remember that I liberated myself of having to save the world last week?
Then on Monday I learned that I don’t HAVE to love everybody.
Then yesterday I learned I could express my anger.
We should make a special pillow for that J with the words “NO thank you!”
I am sorry if my blog is kind of chaotic...this is how I feel
today…revelations are coming one after the other, crushing my old belief
systems.
Today I also learned that my anger came from a memory I had.
I remembered how Cl. had treated me and that set of the whole anger thing…well I realized that memories are fake.
Today I also learned that my anger came from a memory I had.
I remembered how Cl. had treated me and that set of the whole anger thing…well I realized that memories are fake.
It doesn’t exist. It is thoughts in our head and we
transform it in beliefs and then it sticks with us and….well you see the
picture. That is how the whole world is based on. On memories.
But in reality there is only now, there is no past, no pain…just now and that is all what there is. Always.
Woew, when I realized that I saw that all what I believed until now was just a thought, just a belief…
it wasn’t the truth. So I could all let it go and choose again!
So ok what I saw was that the only truth is
I AM
But in reality there is only now, there is no past, no pain…just now and that is all what there is. Always.
Woew, when I realized that I saw that all what I believed until now was just a thought, just a belief…
it wasn’t the truth. So I could all let it go and choose again!
So ok what I saw was that the only truth is
I AM
That’s it…..
all the rest is fake…is made up, are stories and so can be deleted in an instant.
yes in an instant! One of my very old belief systems where I was really stuck was;
“I have to work hard to become the I AM.”
all the rest is fake…is made up, are stories and so can be deleted in an instant.
yes in an instant! One of my very old belief systems where I was really stuck was;
“I have to work hard to become the I AM.”
But that is a lie!!!!
I don’t have to work at all, because I am already I AM.
I don’t have to work at all, because I am already I AM.
WHAT WAS I sTHINKING? JJ
LOL
Ok just to say that I let go of…and I laughed hard when I saw
through these IDENTIFICATIONS I lived in the past. Once we are in it, it is as
if we are locked in it and we are on a stage playing that… and don’t know
anymore that that is not who we ARE!
Remember when I described the scenes “Menage a trois”?
When I was IN it I suffered.
When I was sitting as PERCEIVER in the audience as creator of the play, I didn’t feel a thing.
When I was IN it I suffered.
When I was sitting as PERCEIVER in the audience as creator of the play, I didn’t feel a thing.
Thing is to come back each time to the’ I AM’ state… and
then the rest becomes a play…then you can start choosing what you want…
Because until now I was lived by my memories and by convictions that they taught me in school and at home…and is not who I am and what I want.
I am in the middle of the eye and it is weird…it is as if I turn around and if the Universe presents me each other BELIEF and asks me:”You want to keep it, or can it go?”
Because until now I was lived by my memories and by convictions that they taught me in school and at home…and is not who I am and what I want.
I am in the middle of the eye and it is weird…it is as if I turn around and if the Universe presents me each other BELIEF and asks me:”You want to keep it, or can it go?”
It is fake, it is not who we are …when I SEE my different IDENTIFCATIONS
I had made…Oh Boy…
today I was so sick, but I was laughing too….still sick by the way L
Happily I announce that I have I let go…
today I was so sick, but I was laughing too….still sick by the way L
Happily I announce that I have I let go…
Of the martyr
of the savior (The Mother Theresa type of person)
of the nun (the one that gives up her life… kind of like a martyr and judges others and herself)
Of the harsh Franciscans, fathers that were living a harsh severe life and had to learn it the hard way
and punished themselves
THE VICTIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The abused…
The wounded child….
The witch ( the one that gets on the burning stable J for her brilliant life changing thoughts)
of the savior (The Mother Theresa type of person)
of the nun (the one that gives up her life… kind of like a martyr and judges others and herself)
Of the harsh Franciscans, fathers that were living a harsh severe life and had to learn it the hard way
and punished themselves
THE VICTIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The abused…
The wounded child….
The witch ( the one that gets on the burning stable J for her brilliant life changing thoughts)
Ok I also saw what I want to keep and that is
the Artist
the teacher
the inventor
the life enjoyer
the rich being…
the Artist
the teacher
the inventor
the life enjoyer
the rich being…
THE STORY TELLER? JJ
Remember these are only the characters we want to play...It
is not who we ARE and it is not ours, one day it will just fall all away…
The only thing we truly are, the immortal one is the IAM
I am
I breathe in
I am
I breathe out
I am
Breathe in
I am
Breathe out…
Ok lying in the arms of God… I can heal in an instant… I surrender…I give it to God…
Love you ALL,
I am
I breathe in
I am
I breathe out
I am
Breathe in
I am
Breathe out…
Ok lying in the arms of God… I can heal in an instant… I surrender…I give it to God…
Love you ALL,
Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com
www.rainbowsheart.com
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