It is not to be doing weird, but I feel things are happening
with me the last two weeks. It is as if I can’t be hanging on to my Old self anymore.
And that is an old cliché. There is not really an old self, because I came to
see that all concepts of a SELF are illusions.
It is as if I am nothing, and everything.
It is as if God lies at the core of my heart and I feel it so intensely today.
It is as if something got really anchored here inside of me. It is something secure, something that feels so good and safe; something that never dies and always is.
That something is the center of my being.
At the same moment I see my body fading and not fading...my body of no importance…but in the same moment my body never felt so strong and healthy.
My body also feels expanded. When I walk it is as the whole Universe walks.
It is as if God lies at the core of my heart and I feel it so intensely today.
It is as if something got really anchored here inside of me. It is something secure, something that feels so good and safe; something that never dies and always is.
That something is the center of my being.
At the same moment I see my body fading and not fading...my body of no importance…but in the same moment my body never felt so strong and healthy.
My body also feels expanded. When I walk it is as the whole Universe walks.
It is in that point… between chakra 3 and 4 that something
is happening.
It is as a huge circle is around me and rays of light come from that one secure point.
The circle around me is infinite...is abundance and feels like huge freedom and love…
Yesterday, deep within myself I have let go of a lot of things, really the attachment to money, the attachment of having a home, the attachment of having a body…and the more I was letting go...
It is as a huge circle is around me and rays of light come from that one secure point.
The circle around me is infinite...is abundance and feels like huge freedom and love…
Yesterday, deep within myself I have let go of a lot of things, really the attachment to money, the attachment of having a home, the attachment of having a body…and the more I was letting go...
I felt the fear in me racing through me…but it was also leaving me…
And first I thought I will try this for a month and see if
SURRENDERING really works…haha until I heard Mooji (you tube video) saying; ‘You can’t just try to surrender.”
Caught, shit!
Meantime, Mama P-Yoda (my mom and teacher) had told me last night, how emptiness can be connectedness to all what is. She had assured me if I would let go I would kind of fall in the arms of the Universe.
And she was right…I let go one finger at the time and the more I let go, the more the fear disappeared and freedom came into its place.
When scary thoughts came into my existence I told them “I didn’t know”…
If they tried to question me and to convince to change MY MIND (J)I told them to go to God and there to ask their stupid questions.
Meantime, Mama P-Yoda (my mom and teacher) had told me last night, how emptiness can be connectedness to all what is. She had assured me if I would let go I would kind of fall in the arms of the Universe.
And she was right…I let go one finger at the time and the more I let go, the more the fear disappeared and freedom came into its place.
When scary thoughts came into my existence I told them “I didn’t know”…
If they tried to question me and to convince to change MY MIND (J)I told them to go to God and there to ask their stupid questions.
I didn’t know..I could just breathe and trust that what was
happening was ok.
I knew that with each breathe’ I AM’, and in that moment I felt it was all that was necessary; nothing more was needed. Just breathing.
I could stay easily in the moment. It was as if I was standing on that core spot I was describing.
I mean by this, if you imagine the point in my body between chakra 3 and 4 that reaches out to the whole Universe. And at the same moment you imagine me standing with my feet on that core point soaring in the Universe; while the whole Universe around me was in fact that core point.
Ok I will paint this tomorrow so you can see the visual of what I am describing. And so I can understand it myself…
I feel a huge freedom and joy in my heart.
It is as if I am death and still alive…
It is as if I have no body and body.
It is as if I have a mind and no mind.
Since I decided to give all my fearful thoughts to God and to surrender in KNOWING I don’t know anything, I feel more relaxed. I feel I don’t have to figure out anything anymore. I see that it is all already into place anyway and I can’t fight what is there already.
It feels as if I lost all IDENTITY and that whatever shows up for me to play, it will be ok.
I knew that with each breathe’ I AM’, and in that moment I felt it was all that was necessary; nothing more was needed. Just breathing.
I could stay easily in the moment. It was as if I was standing on that core spot I was describing.
I mean by this, if you imagine the point in my body between chakra 3 and 4 that reaches out to the whole Universe. And at the same moment you imagine me standing with my feet on that core point soaring in the Universe; while the whole Universe around me was in fact that core point.
Ok I will paint this tomorrow so you can see the visual of what I am describing. And so I can understand it myself…
I feel a huge freedom and joy in my heart.
It is as if I am death and still alive…
It is as if I have no body and body.
It is as if I have a mind and no mind.
Since I decided to give all my fearful thoughts to God and to surrender in KNOWING I don’t know anything, I feel more relaxed. I feel I don’t have to figure out anything anymore. I see that it is all already into place anyway and I can’t fight what is there already.
It feels as if I lost all IDENTITY and that whatever shows up for me to play, it will be ok.
I know also deep inside that what will show up will be in
according to what IAM, and so…I guess I am going through a transformation, don’t
you think?
I am telling the weirdest stories…but what is happening with
me today is the most weird one I ever experienced. It feels so different. I
never have felt like this before. I Am more space then I ever was in my whole
life.
I am space.
I am aware that the MIND could get crazy again (that’s it’s job) and try to bring me back in a place of fear…but now I am willing and looking forward to it…it feels that as the intensity will be ok to handle…
And anyway each fearful thought I am sending to God to take care of anyway. J
I am space.
I am aware that the MIND could get crazy again (that’s it’s job) and try to bring me back in a place of fear…but now I am willing and looking forward to it…it feels that as the intensity will be ok to handle…
And anyway each fearful thought I am sending to God to take care of anyway. J
I am done with trying to control my life. I believe.
I am tired now…
I am tired now…
Ooh a man at the gas station asked me how I was doing and I
replied ;”Great!”
“Isn’t every day a great day”, he said.
And I said;”YES!, it is!”
Love Tamara, rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com
“Isn’t every day a great day”, he said.
And I said;”YES!, it is!”
Love Tamara, rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com
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