Am so happy.... Last week I was so moved and it was all so intense, so beautiful.
A lot had to do with Pinky (see blog Cutiful Pinky) that
started behaving as my little dog and responds when I call it, swims to me in a
rush and wants all the attention and love I can give! (which I do with great
gratitude). I am touched so deeply that a wild animal can so want to be with
me. It happened now already many times since I met her for the first time. We developed
a deep bound. I feel so blessed and just I AM in that space of deep wonder and
gratitude… I love you, Pinky!
Other things are happening with me as well, and it is that I come more and more home within myself. And it is as I found deep faith within. Fear that I had before is kind of passing away and it is possible that Pinky is in my life, to help me with that. The day I met Pinky, that day I remembered how God was always with me during my life…Never ever I was alone. Every time I felt alone, I just forgot.
I remembered again that I don’t HAVE to work; that I don’t have to MAKE it happen…that is God’s job.
It is not mine.
My job is to show up and to follow my inner guidance, which is the voice of God.
And to ALLOW.
God is my parent taking care of me.
As my mama-P would say; “I am happily dependant on God.”
Other things are happening with me as well, and it is that I come more and more home within myself. And it is as I found deep faith within. Fear that I had before is kind of passing away and it is possible that Pinky is in my life, to help me with that. The day I met Pinky, that day I remembered how God was always with me during my life…Never ever I was alone. Every time I felt alone, I just forgot.
I remembered again that I don’t HAVE to work; that I don’t have to MAKE it happen…that is God’s job.
It is not mine.
My job is to show up and to follow my inner guidance, which is the voice of God.
And to ALLOW.
God is my parent taking care of me.
As my mama-P would say; “I am happily dependant on God.”
Anyway, I am witnessing myself from a distance and with a
deep wonder and awareness I see how I am maturing within the “IAM’ that I am.
I am more ALLOWING God to steer my life and it feels so SAFE. It feels as if all control and pressure is gone. I can’t describe it as surrender, it is deeper than surrender.
I am more ALLOWING God to steer my life and it feels so SAFE. It feels as if all control and pressure is gone. I can’t describe it as surrender, it is deeper than surrender.
I mean you can surrender to WHAT IS and that is already a
big step.
But I see through things now. I see through what is. And I don’t
blame anything outside anymore.
I see that there is NO outside…so it is all up to me. I see the IDENTIFCATION-game.
I guess I am becoming more and ‘more’ free. J
And that freedom I found in being in the NOW.
I know when I suffer, that I think something that is not true and mostly it goes about the future.
And I came to see that there is no future. Even when I have thoughts about the future, it seems ridiculous to ‘the one’ that is awake now. The thought about the future doesn’t have much power anymore. It is just a thought that can’t be true and it dissolves very fast; as ice melts before the Sun.
Last week I had posted some pics about my apartment and how much I loved it.
Inside of me I felt a movement and a knowing that something was going to change.
When I tried to look into the future, I just heard my Soul saying; “Relax, you will know what to do.”
Something will happen and steer your new direction. Just relax and allow.”
It was so clear to me and I just relaxed and painted and lived my life in the Now without any fear.
I knew there was no decision to make, until I had to make one.
I see that there is NO outside…so it is all up to me. I see the IDENTIFCATION-game.
I guess I am becoming more and ‘more’ free. J
And that freedom I found in being in the NOW.
I know when I suffer, that I think something that is not true and mostly it goes about the future.
And I came to see that there is no future. Even when I have thoughts about the future, it seems ridiculous to ‘the one’ that is awake now. The thought about the future doesn’t have much power anymore. It is just a thought that can’t be true and it dissolves very fast; as ice melts before the Sun.
Last week I had posted some pics about my apartment and how much I loved it.
Inside of me I felt a movement and a knowing that something was going to change.
When I tried to look into the future, I just heard my Soul saying; “Relax, you will know what to do.”
Something will happen and steer your new direction. Just relax and allow.”
It was so clear to me and I just relaxed and painted and lived my life in the Now without any fear.
I knew there was no decision to make, until I had to make one.
And it was true events and things moved me to a decision I made
on September 1st. Amazing synchronicities happened that gave me a
lot of self confidence and faith. There was no fear, there was no doubt, and
there was only action. I wrote my 30 days notice letter and gave it to my
landlord. That was it. I am leaving. My guidance is clear and I always follow
my guidance… J
I knew inside I have to move on…and I am moving on…
Action follows guidance…
The next day I was in the bay with my friends and there was nothing in me that really needed to announce anything. I felt very strong and comfortable in my own SELF.
My friend Ms. suddenly asked;” How is it with your apartment, Rainbow?”
What a strange question to ask, isn’t it? She never asks that…J
I knew inside I have to move on…and I am moving on…
Action follows guidance…
The next day I was in the bay with my friends and there was nothing in me that really needed to announce anything. I felt very strong and comfortable in my own SELF.
My friend Ms. suddenly asked;” How is it with your apartment, Rainbow?”
What a strange question to ask, isn’t it? She never asks that…J
So out of the blue….
Very calm I said; “I gave my notice.”
My other friend M. kind of spoke agitated; “And you stand there so calm, just like that.”
“I know”; I said; “I don’t recognize myself. I am so relaxed and cool about it all.”
My other friend M. kind of spoke agitated; “And you stand there so calm, just like that.”
“I know”; I said; “I don’t recognize myself. I am so relaxed and cool about it all.”
I think I never experienced a deep peace as I am
experiencing right now. I feel spacious and very happy.
I really live in the moment and not often go to the future anymore. I have to many times witnessed that that only brings doubt and fear. I stay here in the present moment, the ONLY moment I really have.
I don’t have a future; it is even not of my business. If I go to the future I put my nose in God’s business.
It is delicious. Don’t WAIT to live until tomorrow, because it might turn out you will wait forever.
The moment to live is NOW and that is FOREVER…. J
I really live in the moment and not often go to the future anymore. I have to many times witnessed that that only brings doubt and fear. I stay here in the present moment, the ONLY moment I really have.
I don’t have a future; it is even not of my business. If I go to the future I put my nose in God’s business.
It is delicious. Don’t WAIT to live until tomorrow, because it might turn out you will wait forever.
The moment to live is NOW and that is FOREVER…. J
As Mama-P would say; “The only ALIVENESS is in the moment,
right here and now.”
She needs to kick my butt very often before I get it…J but I s(think) am getting it….
Yeah!
She needs to kick my butt very often before I get it…J but I s(think) am getting it….
Yeah!
Love Tamara rainbow,
www.rainbowsheart.com
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