I don't give a poo!

 It was a wonderful day today. I had so a good time with my friends at the bay. We laughed so hard, especially I did with the new American expressions they used. There were so many I didn’t really remember them. But one I really remembered  is “I don’t give a poop!”

I started laughing…
“You don’t give a poop?”
Ms., who tried to give it a more classy style said;”I would say;”I don’t give a poo!
That sounds much better!”
Hmmmm I don’t know about that…

They gave me the translation…no worries. J

I find it hilarious though, my accent and the things I say and the things my friends say. Belgian expressions are not always understood. And I don’t always get the American ones. And in between there are things that are similar.

For instance in Belgium we say’ having chicken skin’ and here we say ‘having goose bumps’.

It is all interesting… and fun!

I’ll keep it light today. I go through a major shift in my life. One that I do want to make, but is not always easy to make (you recognize that?)…but sometimes there is no choice.

As S. would say this morning;”We all learn to be unattached at some point, if we WANT it or not.”

I guess I am at that place in my life. It is as all what I dreamed for, all what I lived for is useless.
It is an illusion. I see through it, but I am not at the point yet where I feel;” I don’t give a poo!”
I can’t write about it yet.
Sometimes I just need silence…sometimes things need to happen inside of you...and I can tell it is happening inside of me. It is as all what I believed is put into the fire. And I can only surrender.

Now I just have to move to ALLOWING.

It is giving up what my IDENTITY self WANTS to what God has in mind with me.
I have to let go, I want to let go and come to the place where “I don’t give a sh.t!”
Or is it a Poo?

Ok just let it boil inside of me, but meantime I can just laugh and cry and be ok.
Yesterday evening I was crying, and could see it on a distance and allow it.
This morning I was laughing hard and allow it.
It all passes as clouds in the sky…

Sometimes it is great to laugh with silly things..

This morning my fiends laughed because I write often ‘teh’ in my sentences.
I explained them I do that because I type so fast and only with two fingers. Now I am used to it, but it can also be from the fact that European keyboards are different.
Anyway they thought that I did it on purpose and that I wanted to accentuate my accent.
haha J
I, an accent?

Maybe a small J accent.
hihi

You have to read these blogs as I would speak it.
It is funny.
THE I pronounce as ‘teh’,
therefore they thought I did it on purpose.

I could, I like that IDEE…haha …that’s how I pronounce IDEA.

Every word with a ‘TH’ is a total disaster, because I say “D’.
So THOUGHT is DOUGHT.
When I am THINKING, I am actually DINKING.

I didn’t know this, but recently my friend M. pointed me out that I say MODDER instead of MOTHER.
THAT, becomes DAT…

Ok you get the picture! IT IS HOPELESS.
We don’t put our tongue against or teeth in Dutch!
We might twice a week to lick or lips…but it has nothing at all to do with our language.
It is a disaster when I try that…I start spitting on everybody around me.
I practice, but then without any victims in the neighborhood! J

And you know, it gives a foreign mysterious exotic feeling…maybe I just want to keep ‘DAT’.

Nowadays I really is going better, I don’t think I am as bad as the German accent. (J)
But in the beginning I was here, every time I opened my mouth people would ask;
“Where are you from?”
You can imagine that that gets old after a while.
So I did my best to improve my English and to not speak a lot in public.
One day I was in a shop in Kaneohe on the Island of Oahu and I was checking out.
I had decided NOT TO TALK, than only the necessary words to be polite.
The man asked me a question and I had to answer YES.
Oef I thought, nothing can go wrong. This time I will get out without asking me where I was from.
This time they gonna think I am a local!

Woeha…you can’t imagine!!!!

I said yes and he asked THE question!
“WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

I asked him; “But how do you know with me only saying yes I am not from here, do you hear a difference?”
He looked at me as I was coming from planet Mars…you know when somebody looks at you with UNBELIEVING eyes…
“Of course I can hear by your YES you are not from here!?”
I laughed with him…well a little green…(laughing green in Belgium means: not really laughing; but laughing to save the situation in a way. Or to laugh but with some pain behind it.)

I gave it up. I just didn’t resist anymore and had no problem with people asking.
Now I am totally over it.
Although two women asked me last week:”Where are you from?”
And I said:”I live here.”
“Oh you have so a heavy accent!”

Followed by GREEN laughter …. JJJJJ

and I DON"T GIVE A POO! anymore...hahahaha

Love tamara rainbow

www.rainbowsheart.com