Again it is a long time I didn’t write.
This time it is because I went through a huge obstacle in my mind…J
We say the road, but I say the mind….
There are only obstacles in the mind, that’s all there ever happens.
The road is always free…
Maybe there is not even a road…there is a road when you think you have to make a distance to come back to who you really are. But when you realize that YOU ARE who YOU ARE…well no roads…J
only space…We are space…awareness…
Mamaji, my teacher/mom had told me two days ago that we had an agreement.
It was so important for me she said that. I felt I didn’t have to face all of this on my own; she was there with me….already for a long time. Promising to her, did something to me…I changed.
Also I trust her so completely…I knew I could let go…
I agreed to NOT worry anymore, something I did for the past 20 years or more…J.
It always goes about the same old story, as many people have that story going on…
This time it is because I went through a huge obstacle in my mind…J
We say the road, but I say the mind….
There are only obstacles in the mind, that’s all there ever happens.
The road is always free…
Maybe there is not even a road…there is a road when you think you have to make a distance to come back to who you really are. But when you realize that YOU ARE who YOU ARE…well no roads…J
only space…We are space…awareness…
Mamaji, my teacher/mom had told me two days ago that we had an agreement.
It was so important for me she said that. I felt I didn’t have to face all of this on my own; she was there with me….already for a long time. Promising to her, did something to me…I changed.
Also I trust her so completely…I knew I could let go…
I agreed to NOT worry anymore, something I did for the past 20 years or more…J.
It always goes about the same old story, as many people have that story going on…
Paying the bills, the rent, making money, and all that crap
that we think we ought to do.
It, since a long time I compromise myself…maybe even not as much as other people do, but still I did, with choosing things I don’t want to do…
MAmaji taught me that it is DANGEROUS to do something you don’t WANT to do!!!
It, since a long time I compromise myself…maybe even not as much as other people do, but still I did, with choosing things I don’t want to do…
MAmaji taught me that it is DANGEROUS to do something you don’t WANT to do!!!
It goes against your heart and against the TRUTH….
Can you imagine what you create in the field, in the Universe when you do something you don’t want to do? You get more of what you don’t want!
I am some-body, in fact no-body that doesn’t want to compromise anymore. I want to be FREE!!!!!
Can you imagine what you create in the field, in the Universe when you do something you don’t want to do? You get more of what you don’t want!
I am some-body, in fact no-body that doesn’t want to compromise anymore. I want to be FREE!!!!!
The last week I created a whole bunch of shit with all the
worries I put out there through my fearful thoughts….
I had somebody threatening me, which chocked me so much…that it was as if I understood I couldn’t go further like this. Of course I always take the projection back and saw that I was threatening me for a very long time already…what goes on inside will appear outside…
Worries are putting destructive energy in the field.
Also I had made the sublime creation of getting sick again…J
yep the destruction of my worry did its job!
I had somebody threatening me, which chocked me so much…that it was as if I understood I couldn’t go further like this. Of course I always take the projection back and saw that I was threatening me for a very long time already…what goes on inside will appear outside…
Worries are putting destructive energy in the field.
Also I had made the sublime creation of getting sick again…J
yep the destruction of my worry did its job!
I had two ear infections…haha because I am not listening to
my true Self…J
And a bladder infection….which says that I am pissed because I feel I am powerless to hear what my true awareness wants to tell me…
Oh boy…
and other stuff too...
And a bladder infection….which says that I am pissed because I feel I am powerless to hear what my true awareness wants to tell me…
Oh boy…
and other stuff too...
I was out of balance, really sick again and I still am…a bit…
But it is a miracle…
Yesterday I felt so sick…
Yesterday I kind of let go of that branch too…
You know the story of the branch, right?
I am hanging of a cliff and I shout; “is somebody up there?”
“yes”; I hear; “God’.
I ask;”Help me God!"
God says;”Let go!”
I don’t want to hear that and so I ask;”God, what do you want me to do? Help me.”
God says;”Let go!”
Because I am so afraid to let go and I don't want to hear THAT answer, I ask now;
”Is somebody else up there?”
LOL
In my case God was disguised in Mamaji and we are working together already for a long time for me to let go…and I was worried and scared, but then yesterday things happened and I got sick again as I told you….and the branch broke off!
Sometimes LIFE helps you to let go….
It is of course my deep desire to be free of all of that sets that energy in motion. That brings me Mamaji, Moojiji and other events on my path, because I am sooooo longing to be free….
I realized and that’s kind of when the branch broke off (and maybe I let go in the same moment) that I had the belief;”I CAN NOT support myself.”
Of course when you have that going on…you live in a very difficult situation…
How can you live the life you want, when you believe that?
Yesterday I felt so sick…
Yesterday I kind of let go of that branch too…
You know the story of the branch, right?
I am hanging of a cliff and I shout; “is somebody up there?”
“yes”; I hear; “God’.
I ask;”Help me God!"
God says;”Let go!”
I don’t want to hear that and so I ask;”God, what do you want me to do? Help me.”
God says;”Let go!”
Because I am so afraid to let go and I don't want to hear THAT answer, I ask now;
”Is somebody else up there?”
LOL
In my case God was disguised in Mamaji and we are working together already for a long time for me to let go…and I was worried and scared, but then yesterday things happened and I got sick again as I told you….and the branch broke off!
Sometimes LIFE helps you to let go….
It is of course my deep desire to be free of all of that sets that energy in motion. That brings me Mamaji, Moojiji and other events on my path, because I am sooooo longing to be free….
I realized and that’s kind of when the branch broke off (and maybe I let go in the same moment) that I had the belief;”I CAN NOT support myself.”
Of course when you have that going on…you live in a very difficult situation…
How can you live the life you want, when you believe that?
NOT OF COURSE….
I was talking to Mamaji on the phone and the last thing I said to her was just that;
“I feel can’t support myself.”
And her last words were, because she needed to run: “Is that true?”
We love the Byron Katie work…a LOT!
Anyway I was driving away in my car and asked myself the question is that true…
Something in me broke, I started crying, it was as if something was lifted off my shoulders.
Is that true?
Anyway I was driving away in my car and asked myself the question is that true…
Something in me broke, I started crying, it was as if something was lifted off my shoulders.
Is that true?
NO< IT IS NOT TRUE!!!!
We think we are in control, we think we have to make it happen, have to do everything to try to stay alive…but all those things IS WORK and is the opposite of ALIVENESS and ABUNDANCE…
I had a break through…
All this time I could see I was not the one supporting me!!!
It was awareness, God or how you want to call it…that was supporting me all this time…
Supporting me is NOT my JOB!
We think we are in control, we think we have to make it happen, have to do everything to try to stay alive…but all those things IS WORK and is the opposite of ALIVENESS and ABUNDANCE…
I had a break through…
All this time I could see I was not the one supporting me!!!
It was awareness, God or how you want to call it…that was supporting me all this time…
Supporting me is NOT my JOB!
What a relief!
We are being lived and when I saw that…I didn’t only feel it…it
was as if I tasted it,….
It went through my whole being…as a lightening flash…
Yes….
Ow I feel weird now…It is as if I, Rainbow, the person is
gone…
I made a deep decision inside of me to NOT worry anymore. I am in agreement with Mamaji….
And it is kind of that everything fell of me…
As my ego fell down of that cliff and the awareness, my true self was watching it falling...
I made a deep decision inside of me to NOT worry anymore. I am in agreement with Mamaji….
And it is kind of that everything fell of me…
As my ego fell down of that cliff and the awareness, my true self was watching it falling...
Tonight I am almost healed… I hear again and my bladder is
fine too…just a little pain in my ears still…
I also got the assistance of about 80 dolphins, about 10 turtles
today and in the last 2 days 4 manta rays …numerous amount of whales close in and
breaching all around….today was a celebration…
They were all there to SUPPORT me!
The celebration of my new birth, the new me…that’s the me without an identity…
Or I am the one not attached to my identity…that sounds better…
The manta rays opened my eyes big time…yesterday one swam behind me and suddenly appeared in front of me, and turned and then came up and was hanging on my belly. This happened just after somebody had treatened me and I was out of balance...
I had swim with them before, but I thought he could see me. Parentally not because suddenly he moved away a few meters…
They were all there to SUPPORT me!
The celebration of my new birth, the new me…that’s the me without an identity…
Or I am the one not attached to my identity…that sounds better…
The manta rays opened my eyes big time…yesterday one swam behind me and suddenly appeared in front of me, and turned and then came up and was hanging on my belly. This happened just after somebody had treatened me and I was out of balance...
I had swim with them before, but I thought he could see me. Parentally not because suddenly he moved away a few meters…
Snorry….but he was ok…Then I followed him for about 30
minutes, oh my how beautiful are they!
He still came up a few times again…but not as high anymore to hang a few inches of my belly…J
I guess I needed some manta ray energy!!! To balance me again!
(I taped it all, but still have to upload it…that will be for tomorrow….)
Anyway today, there was another one when I saw the dolphins!
I am a dolphin and I saw myself still in the water by 3 o’clock this afternoon somewhere…
I feel home there…
And I guess I had another appointment with two other manta rays…
He still came up a few times again…but not as high anymore to hang a few inches of my belly…J
I guess I needed some manta ray energy!!! To balance me again!
(I taped it all, but still have to upload it…that will be for tomorrow….)
Anyway today, there was another one when I saw the dolphins!
I am a dolphin and I saw myself still in the water by 3 o’clock this afternoon somewhere…
I feel home there…
And I guess I had another appointment with two other manta rays…
They just appeared underneath me…and now I found their eyes…they
are so majestic beings…
In maori (or Hawaiian) manta ray means GRACEFUL STRENGHT…
Something I needed the last few days…to let GO of that branch!
I let go with grace and strength...
In maori (or Hawaiian) manta ray means GRACEFUL STRENGHT…
Something I needed the last few days…to let GO of that branch!
I let go with grace and strength...
Thank you mama-ji!!! Without you I could not do this...
Thank you manta rays! Hahalua-ji! (manta ray in Hawaiian)
Thank you Naia-ji!(dolphin in Hawaiian)
Thank you manta rays! Hahalua-ji! (manta ray in Hawaiian)
Thank you Naia-ji!(dolphin in Hawaiian)
Thank you Honu-ji! (turtle in Hawaiian)
Thank you kohola-ji! (whale in Hawaiian)
Thank you Mooji-ji!
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| Here I go...it was not so gracious though...LOL or maybe it was!!!WITH GRACEFUL STRENGTH |
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