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| This is a new painting!!! It is PINKY's experience... |
I went into the ocean and I kind of was sad and feeling scared…the same old stuff…scared to be homeless… and not wanting to give up the passion I feel inside to do my art. The passion I feel to be me and to not compromise…but it takes courage sometimes to do so…and sometimes I lose it. Then I get very scared and that day I did. It was as if the Ocean was black instead of turquoise. I almost gave up…the more I was giving up myself, the ‘sadder’ I came…
At one point I even left my friends because I didn’t want them to be near my dark desperate energy…
I went swimming on my own and I prayed to God...I screamed
and yelled in my snorkel to help me.
10 minutes later a little turtle showed up and it was as if I swam from a dark ocean into an ocean full of light.
10 minutes later a little turtle showed up and it was as if I swam from a dark ocean into an ocean full of light.
How I can describe it was …it was as if my thoughts, my mind
was surrounded by a thick dark wall…
I couldn’t see any salvation , or any possibilities of rescue. The moment I saw the little honu, the wall fell down and instantly everything was light and I couldn’t feel any fear anymore.
I was just feeling love.
I witnessed this on a distance and it was amazing to do so. I could see that it was my mind that made me sad. It was my mind that put up the wall and limited every feeling of love. I couldn’t feel any love.
My mind wasn’t in the present moment, but was projecting images from the past to the future and the future to the past. It was comparing situations and send fearful feelings to the future.
It was a disaster and it was so so painful.
I couldn’t see any salvation , or any possibilities of rescue. The moment I saw the little honu, the wall fell down and instantly everything was light and I couldn’t feel any fear anymore.
I was just feeling love.
I witnessed this on a distance and it was amazing to do so. I could see that it was my mind that made me sad. It was my mind that put up the wall and limited every feeling of love. I couldn’t feel any love.
My mind wasn’t in the present moment, but was projecting images from the past to the future and the future to the past. It was comparing situations and send fearful feelings to the future.
It was a disaster and it was so so painful.
When I saw the turtle…my mind fell away and I was only in
the present moment. It was as if I fell in Gods arms. There was no past, no
tomorrow anymore. There was only love love love…I was amazed to experience this
as the witness and see how it really works!!!!
In the present moment lies all abundance! There is so much…too
much in fact to absorb all…we come in the fear of lack when we move away from
that present moment. We go from our hearts to our minds and there is no feeling
anymore…
Aaaah
here is my story of PINKY, my beloved new friend. I don’t know if she is female or if he is male.
Here it is…
Aaaah
here is my story of PINKY, my beloved new friend. I don’t know if she is female or if he is male.
Here it is…
Pinky
Is a small honu
with a magic touch
one day I was in such despair
I could hardly breathe
my heart was so dark
and hopeless
I thought I was dying
I prayed to God to help me
Pinky showed up…
just like that…
the smallest turtle I ever saw
It was as if God heard me and sent pinky RIGHT away…
the darkness disappeared and light came into my heart
There was Pinky!
I knew it was Grace
unusual the little honu stayed with me so close I could touch her with one finger…
little turtles normally shy away… very very fast sometimes
She didn’t
It was as if she asked to be touched…
(was I asking to be touched?? J)
It was as if she asked to be touched…
(was I asking to be touched?? J)
I did ask God to touch me
to safe me
and here I am..
with Pinky,
Little honu
the moment I touched Pinky was a moment everything stopped
It was just love I felt…all LOVE>>>>
she started turning around caressing her shell against my hand…
I didn’t have to do anything…
then just to hold my hand there…
I saw her little butt going in the air,
then her little head…
she turned and turned…
in circles..
pushing her shell against my hand…
now I started moving my hand in circles on her shell
and she lOVED it
the moment I touched Pinky was a moment everything stopped
It was just love I felt…all LOVE>>>>
she started turning around caressing her shell against my hand…
I didn’t have to do anything…
then just to hold my hand there…
I saw her little butt going in the air,
then her little head…
she turned and turned…
in circles..
pushing her shell against my hand…
now I started moving my hand in circles on her shell
and she lOVED it
Her circles became faster and faster…
I moved my hand away to see what she would do…
And she followed my hand
As my hand was a magnet…
she didn’t want to lose my hand…
she was turning circles and circles
with her butt in the air, her little head in the air…
plus we were turning in circles clockwise or vice versa…
it must have been funny to see…
she would swim between my legs
because we went so fast…
just searching for my hand…
one time she bumped into my leg and she swam away for about 6 feet…
prrrrfttt making bubbles
little honu
so cute
I called her cutiful
the whole time
CUTIFUL!
I thought she would leave now,
but no…pinky looked at me and swam as the fastest turtle ever to my hand…
it was as if she had confiscated my hand for EVER…
she would do this for another 20 minutes…
together we were spinning circles…
she would stick her little head out and take a breath
to just continue turning circles on my hand…
she didn’t want to lose my hand…
she was turning circles and circles
with her butt in the air, her little head in the air…
plus we were turning in circles clockwise or vice versa…
it must have been funny to see…
she would swim between my legs
because we went so fast…
just searching for my hand…
one time she bumped into my leg and she swam away for about 6 feet…
prrrrfttt making bubbles
little honu
so cute
I called her cutiful
the whole time
CUTIFUL!
I thought she would leave now,
but no…pinky looked at me and swam as the fastest turtle ever to my hand…
it was as if she had confiscated my hand for EVER…
she would do this for another 20 minutes…
together we were spinning circles…
she would stick her little head out and take a breath
to just continue turning circles on my hand…
More circles
I cried in my mask
who was healing who here?
I now started moving my fingers around her shell and she loved it so much!
I touched her little head very soft and she kind of pulled it a little in to feel it more,
then she would turn again and again..
Her little fins would touch my arms and so I touched very careful one of her fins in front and she just ‘kinda’ of gave me a high five.
I cried in my mask
who was healing who here?
I now started moving my fingers around her shell and she loved it so much!
I touched her little head very soft and she kind of pulled it a little in to feel it more,
then she would turn again and again..
Her little fins would touch my arms and so I touched very careful one of her fins in front and she just ‘kinda’ of gave me a high five.
Then I touched her little feet in the back and Pinky just
enjoyed it more and more…
Turning circles…
And circles…
we went on for a long time, my hands were getting like old grandma’s hands and my body started getting cold…
something in me felt to let Pinky go…
she wasn’t planning to let me go though…
and I didn’t really wanted to go..EVER…
when I would take my hand away, she would follow it and turn circles…
more!
I heard voices and swam away a little and she followed me…
Little pinky was swimming with me…
Oh God… what a blessing!
I could not feel any fear anymore…it was all gone…
we went on for a long time, my hands were getting like old grandma’s hands and my body started getting cold…
something in me felt to let Pinky go…
she wasn’t planning to let me go though…
and I didn’t really wanted to go..EVER…
when I would take my hand away, she would follow it and turn circles…
more!
I heard voices and swam away a little and she followed me…
Little pinky was swimming with me…
Oh God… what a blessing!
I could not feel any fear anymore…it was all gone…
I was just in the moment…
I could never have made this up…
I mean this is pure abundance, but this kind of abundance I can’t make up…that’s God’s creation.
Well, I guess it is all God’s creation.
When we let go of all fear and LET GOD…it is amazing what shows up in our lives…amazing…
Pinky…
Pinky
I had to let go of Pinky, I was frozen…
I promised to come back later…tomorrow and the day after and after…
I could never have made this up…
I mean this is pure abundance, but this kind of abundance I can’t make up…that’s God’s creation.
Well, I guess it is all God’s creation.
When we let go of all fear and LET GOD…it is amazing what shows up in our lives…amazing…
Pinky…
Pinky
I had to let go of Pinky, I was frozen…
I promised to come back later…tomorrow and the day after and after…
I left
and then I thought but how will I ever find her back?
Shit… maybe I didn’t look enough to recognize her from another turtle…
and then I thought but how will I ever find her back?
Shit… maybe I didn’t look enough to recognize her from another turtle…
How will you find me back?
“I will see your light as I did right now”; Pinky whispered.
“You are wiser, then I am”; I replied.
J
“I will see your light as I did right now”; Pinky whispered.
“You are wiser, then I am”; I replied.
J
I swam pretty far to get warm again and I felt so blessed…although
I wished I had looked better to all her little distinctive spots…
But I let it go and swam further in total bliss…
But I let it go and swam further in total bliss…
GRATITUDE…
I realized it would be hard to ever see Pinky again…every day the ocean is a different Ocean…
Those little honu’s can tuck themselves so good away…hard to see…
I accepted the gift of this MOMENT today…
Pinky will always be with me where ever I go…
She is in my hEART… she will be the pinky clouds in my beautiful blue sky! (see other blogs)
I realized it would be hard to ever see Pinky again…every day the ocean is a different Ocean…
Those little honu’s can tuck themselves so good away…hard to see…
I accepted the gift of this MOMENT today…
Pinky will always be with me where ever I go…
She is in my hEART… she will be the pinky clouds in my beautiful blue sky! (see other blogs)
When I swam back I saw two other little turtles and my heart
would start ’BOUNKING’ harder in the hope it was Pinky.
No Pinky though…
Ooh (lip down L)
I MINDED myself to be grateful with what I got and to not want more….
Oooh J
Ooh (lip down L)
I MINDED myself to be grateful with what I got and to not want more….
Oooh J
I was happy, so happy…I have witnessed my state of being
with fearful thoughts and the pain and suffering that sprouted from that. And I
have seen the pain abruptly stop when I came in the TRUTH of the moment. It
could see that my painful thoughts were a separate entity within me, it was not
who I truly was…the true one was the One in the MOMENT with Pinky, FULL of
LOVE.
This time I had the grace and wonder of pinky to show this to me...next time I will be able to recognize it myself and to come back in the NOW. There is so much magnificence in the NOW.
Look around you!!!
Look in you!
Breathe!
I once experienced to see the whole of the universe in a dew drop of water…when I saw that I came in total bliss…I could also see how important that dew drop was and see that if that dew drop is so important in the eyes of God, I was too…
This time I had the grace and wonder of pinky to show this to me...next time I will be able to recognize it myself and to come back in the NOW. There is so much magnificence in the NOW.
Look around you!!!
Look in you!
Breathe!
I once experienced to see the whole of the universe in a dew drop of water…when I saw that I came in total bliss…I could also see how important that dew drop was and see that if that dew drop is so important in the eyes of God, I was too…
Same I experienced with Miss Pinky…If I can be honored by Pinky
to give me this experience I must be worthy to have that…J
I guess it is time to put my two legs on this Earth and to plant my flag of uniqueness and being in this dimension on Earth and to say I have the right to live and to have my place… and I have the right to be happy…
I guess it is time to put my two legs on this Earth and to plant my flag of uniqueness and being in this dimension on Earth and to say I have the right to live and to have my place… and I have the right to be happy…
Mmm I was swimming further with all those empowering
thoughts and GUESS WHAT!!!!!
There was PINKY!!!!
Pinky looked at me and swam as fast as she could to find MY HAND again and there we turned in circles again!
Pinky looked at me and swam as fast as she could to find MY HAND again and there we turned in circles again!
Circles of love and more circles of love….LOLOLOVE!!!!!
It is then when I gave her her name,
now I observed her well enough to recognize her..
Oh what was she beautiful!
She is my CUTIFUL!!!
now I observed her well enough to recognize her..
Oh what was she beautiful!
She is my CUTIFUL!!!
PINKY, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
CUTIFUL PINKY
With tears in my eyes, tears of gratitude and immense love I
want to let you know that you changed my life forever.You wanted to be so so touched by me…but I wanted to be so so TOUCHED by you..
You touched my heart so intensely…
when a fear of lack comes up now, you pop up in my memory…never ever you will be without me…
Or I will be without you…
I am you and you are me…
I love you so much, Pinky…
Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com
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