A down pour of tears….yesterday… working with mama-P. and
working so deep you don’t recognize yourself the next day; as you became new
AGAIN.
I was tired from days of not sleeping and saw myself making
a bed in the middle of the living floor.
Why are you not laying in your bed? Mmaaam..just followed my feeling of doing what I was doing.
Why are you not laying in your bed? Mmaaam..just followed my feeling of doing what I was doing.
It was as necessary…breaking the usual. I put my head down,
tried to read some pages in Byron Katie’s book and fell asleep on the floor, in
the light of the magnificent beautiful day in Maui. I wanted to be where the
sun was…close to the light…and I slept for two hours! yeah! After days of no sleep, that felt good…it
was as if I was somewhere I was never before. I felt so new, so new born…
I could see that a shift happened working with Mama –P. yesterday evening.
I could see that a shift happened working with Mama –P. yesterday evening.
I saw through the belief I was holding that kept me hostage
for so long already.
She broke the spell of that old hidden belief system with one sentence;
“You are safe, it is done”; mama –P. said.
She broke the spell of that old hidden belief system with one sentence;
“You are safe, it is done”; mama –P. said.
Something from deep inside of me, between my 2nd
and 3th chakra…around my belly button …exploded…I could feel it.
It was from there that a deep cry made itself loose and it shout up through my heart to my head and I started crying from so deep…
It was from there that a deep cry made itself loose and it shout up through my heart to my head and I started crying from so deep…
Mama-P just saying; ”How sweet.”
I felt held by her love and tenderness and felt so vulnerable, open and raw.
I felt held by her love and tenderness and felt so vulnerable, open and raw.
It is like entering a cave and knowing that there is a
dragon in that cave waiting for you to be recognized. It is your own old belief
system that is tucked away and is underneath all the things that you do in
life.
What I mean by that and how Byron Katie it beautifully says
is that there is an underworld upholding everything build upon that. If you
build a world on bad foundations, some day that structure will colaps.
That’s what just happened with me…
The way I react, the way I think, the way my life unfolds is build upon that one belief system and it creates my life the way it is…No need to resist anything, but to accept and see through the lies and changes will happen in your outside world.
You build another foundation and another structure rises up.
That’s what just happened with me…
The way I react, the way I think, the way my life unfolds is build upon that one belief system and it creates my life the way it is…No need to resist anything, but to accept and see through the lies and changes will happen in your outside world.
You build another foundation and another structure rises up.
The false belief I had hidden in my cave was that I thought
I wasn’t save.
Although the last days I had a miraculous transformation; still yesterday this old stuff came up to clear my energy more and more…
Since the first of September (see other blogs) I felt deep faith and SAFE. There was a deep strong knowing that I was in God’s hands and that everything was good, no matter what.
My body too…I was a different person, totally different…so yesterday my mind tried to get me back to that old way of behaving…paradoxically…it wanted me to think; “I am not safe” to feel safe…
It is so delicious to give yourself over in that place of ALLOWING, of SURRENDER and LOVE.
Immediately when I saw the lie ’I am not safe’ I felt a deep shift inside of me.
Although the last days I had a miraculous transformation; still yesterday this old stuff came up to clear my energy more and more…
Since the first of September (see other blogs) I felt deep faith and SAFE. There was a deep strong knowing that I was in God’s hands and that everything was good, no matter what.
My body too…I was a different person, totally different…so yesterday my mind tried to get me back to that old way of behaving…paradoxically…it wanted me to think; “I am not safe” to feel safe…
It is so delicious to give yourself over in that place of ALLOWING, of SURRENDER and LOVE.
Immediately when I saw the lie ’I am not safe’ I felt a deep shift inside of me.
I cried and cried.
But my tears were not all tears of sadness…I can’t really explain
what kind of tears it were.
I must say that in that moment mama-P broke my heart open, I felt so much love streaming through me.
In that same moment I saw also how I never ALLOWED myself to have wonderful things happen to me.
It is in the last year that my life started changing and that I start yielding towards self-love instead of self-abuse.
Creating Mama-P into my life is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.
She is an extraordinary being and her words; “That is so sweet” just exploded all the iron that was still holding my heart hostage.
She helped me yesterday to come in this space, a space which I want to enter for so long already:
Let your Self be, silently drawn by the pull of what you really love… (Rumi)
I must say that in that moment mama-P broke my heart open, I felt so much love streaming through me.
In that same moment I saw also how I never ALLOWED myself to have wonderful things happen to me.
It is in the last year that my life started changing and that I start yielding towards self-love instead of self-abuse.
Creating Mama-P into my life is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.
She is an extraordinary being and her words; “That is so sweet” just exploded all the iron that was still holding my heart hostage.
She helped me yesterday to come in this space, a space which I want to enter for so long already:
Let your Self be, silently drawn by the pull of what you really love… (Rumi)
And knowing through her if I surrender to that I will be
safe, always.
Knowing that even when I don’t do that I am always safe.
I am safe.
That is what is true.
When all the stories in my head fall away…that is what is deeply true…
I am safe.
That is what is true.
When all the stories in my head fall away…that is what is deeply true…
I AM ALWAYS SAFE…
LOLOLOve you Mama-P, so happy i can call her mama :)
LOLOLOve you Mama-P, so happy i can call her mama :)
I just came back from putting my art in the first gallery on
Maui! Yeah!
yesterday after the telephone call with Mama-P somebody ordered a commissioned painting… J
Once you allow yourself to receive love…because you kind of realize you are love…you don’t need to receive it from outside…I am the one that gives me love and I am the one that receives my love J
Once that energy starts…all good things come to you…naturally…because all good things are me…
yesterday after the telephone call with Mama-P somebody ordered a commissioned painting… J
Once you allow yourself to receive love…because you kind of realize you are love…you don’t need to receive it from outside…I am the one that gives me love and I am the one that receives my love J
Once that energy starts…all good things come to you…naturally…because all good things are me…
Love Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com
www.rainbowsheart.com
No comments:
Post a Comment