I am belgian, Hawaiian and American all in ONE..:)

It might be getting boring to you but I get so extremely happy lately… my life is so beautiful. I am so happy with it. I keep on mentioning to have fallen with my butt in the butter, but I really did.(Belgian expression for good luck) I just heard from some people that met me (to see my art) that they loved this expression and start using it also! The husband told me this: He said to his wife; “Didn’t you fell with your butt in the butter, honey!” And then he was referring to himself…  haha LOL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anyway I feel very blessed to live here in Hawaii. Now I am living on Maui and I saw all the islands already, except of the Native Hawaiian one…Ni’ihau. In always wanted to be called a local, wanted to have a feeling of belonging and now after so much longing; I feel I kind of am. Funny thing is that now i am I came to see that that is not who I really am. I am, pure divine energy and all the rest…is not important,really. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am Belgian, Hawaiian, American..my name is Tamara and here they call me rainbow….and all of these things are fun, but it is not who I really am. Who I really am is source energy; it is the one that never dies. And once you come to that clear realization all the rest falls away. But at the same moment, I start loving to play in this game, because it is without attachment anymore; i know who I really am................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I AM and that is perfect…that is never changeable…what is changeable is…my body, my mind, my possessions, countries, nations, houses, fathers, children, friends… Accepting life as it is= CHANGE ; moves us so easily through life. It becomes a play, a game and what for a game! I came to see that life, God is very very kind. When life isn’t kind it is not because of the God part in us, but mostly it is because of the thoughts we have about existence..................................................................................................................................................................... I really believe I fell in love with me for the first time in my life.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Truly . I love to be with me, I love the things I do. I love the life I have. I love the person I became and am. I am of course. And that is infinite. But the person I am right now in this moment in my life, well she is pretty cool, loving and courageous.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And you know what; it would be great for someone to be able to share that with me. And I get to be THAT ONE!!!!! All the time! And it is pretty amazing. I feel so full lately, so whole. There is nothing that I want to fill myself up with then only with myself. No person, no-thing. I am. And I am happy. This morning I was wondering...waaaw it is pretty awesome to do the things I do, to think the things I think, to create the things I create, and to love the things I love….......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

............................................................................................................................................................................... I really am embodying that saying from Rumi: “Let yourself be, silently drown by the gently pull of what you really love. And that is me! And Mama P. And my art. And all my dear dear friends. The dolphins and the turtles. Hawaii. My art supplies My paintings< My car, Rockie .......................................................................................................

......................................................................................................... My body, yes my body who would have thought that ever…my body is so strong I can swim anywhere without getting tired. I love my smile, when I feel am smiling… I love the way I am dedicated to my friends, ................................................................................................................. It is weird…to do this…to write all these things… My past is my past and I was just the opposite… extremely not loving myself. and now I am this. It feels GREAT! I can tell you… ........................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................. I was looking to my home today and all the things that lay in order and out of order and nobody here to tell me I should put it different or do something else…that was such a good feeling. And then thinking that I decide to wake up when I wake up and run as long and far as I want, as less as I want. If I want. And then I just go with my car on an adventure and nobody to tell me where to go then only to follow my heart… I take a nap when I want, I paint when I want and nobody to tell me I can’t. Oh my…I LOVE IT! I can see sunsets every night If I want and I am the master of my life. I am, truly. I don’t feel anyone has to complete me. I am complete and so full lo life. So FULL of me  haha before that would be a curse and you had to hide and be ashamed..well I did… .......................................................................................................

........................................................................................................................ I never felt so full of SELF as now. I had times in the past that I was scared to be with me…that is definite OVER…Oh my GOD! I LOVE TO BE WITH ME! I long to be with me, to be alone with me...i am never alone. And that all because I have found me… If people want to cling, I am gone already. Don’t tell anyone what I am doing the next moment..because I love to be with me. Woeha!!! The true me…I AM… it is so magnificent. All the rest is a magical play and what are we going to play, right? Up to us, we are master of our own lives! The lady bug on my car this morning showed me, how much I can love myself… My old self would ask for permission. Would think it was selfish to ask something, had to make herself small so she wasn’t too much,……all that BLOW AWAY WITH THE WIND…..  ................................................................................................................

...................................................................................................... The lady bug , called ‘lieve heersbeestje” literally translated as… loving ruling animal… it is a good sign in Belgium, it means ‘GOOD LUCK’. Now I think about it, we have a lot of good signs, like stepping in shit is one, breaking glass is another one…you would think that those Belgians would do everything just the be opposite of what other countries do..because stepping in poop and breaking glass isn’t always good in other countries, but it is in Belgium!!! Now I have the 3 nationalities, Belgian, Hawaiian and American I will take all the good sayings of each nationality and drop all the rest… Hihi…the clever oppurtunitist……..>>>>>>>>>me<<<<<< ..........................................................................................I am so sorry blogger is down again, and i can't share with you a good quality spacious blog. IT IS NOT IN MY CONTROL..:)I tried to post as many pics between it, so you get that so needed loving space..") Hope you enjoyed it anyway.....the pics of my car are from the lady bug admiring my name, my art, my my my.....try to find her, it brings GOOD LUCK!!!!!! (they say in Belgium).................................................................................................................................................................. love tamara rainbow www.rainbowsheart.com