I went into the water and forgot my scissors, but I thought maybe this day is a day to relax and to not save anything. Well, that doesn’t work. Such days don’t exist.
Where did I get that thought from?
How can you plan to not rescue
anything…If somebody needs to be rescued and falls in front of you, it is your
place to rescue. I always have been placed in a place of rescuer. In Belgium at
some point I had 8 cats, all rescued. My dog came from the humane society. My
Guiney pigs were abandoned creatures…after a while people knew that my girlfriend and I took care
of anything; that one day I found two little cats dumped over the fence of my
garden. Birds, mice...you name it…
And here in Hawaii it continues, only the animals are more exotic J
Here a dolphin came for help, turtles, birds, fish,…and today I needed to help a shark.
It was a black tip reef shark, not a tiger or anything like that. (sharks are (were??) one of my biggest fears)
And here in Hawaii it continues, only the animals are more exotic J
Here a dolphin came for help, turtles, birds, fish,…and today I needed to help a shark.
It was a black tip reef shark, not a tiger or anything like that. (sharks are (were??) one of my biggest fears)
He was stuck at the coral. He had a hook
in his mouth and a black line was connected to the hook.
The shark was fairly deep, and couldn’t move his head no more.
The shark was fairly deep, and couldn’t move his head no more.
Sh…forgot my scissors. The fairy tale of
having a free day of rescuing was a total illusion and was (I thought) not a
very clever thought.
I saw a boat in the distance and swam towards it to get a knife.
I found my sweet shark back and then had to calculate what to do.
I saw a boat in the distance and swam towards it to get a knife.
I found my sweet shark back and then had to calculate what to do.
Wait a minute -I thought -this is a shark.
It is not a turtle or a dolphin.
What would he do if I dive to him and he feels traitened?
I didn’t know.
A dog might bite, why wouldn’t he bite out of self defense?
Grrr all those thoughts…I didn’t know what to do with it.
I dove a first time and got it loose further away from him. And then when I dove the second time I got the line from the coral. Here I made a mistake. Instead of taking him to the surface and cut it loose at its beak; I let go of the line because I saw how the hook pulled his beak. The shark was pulling back, didn’t want to go to the surface with me and when I looked in his eyes and saw the fear, I let go of the line and had to come up for air. Was it his fear or my own fear that was reflecting in his eyes?
The shark was free now, but I didn’t have a chance no more to cut the line shorter.
What would he do if I dive to him and he feels traitened?
I didn’t know.
A dog might bite, why wouldn’t he bite out of self defense?
Grrr all those thoughts…I didn’t know what to do with it.
I dove a first time and got it loose further away from him. And then when I dove the second time I got the line from the coral. Here I made a mistake. Instead of taking him to the surface and cut it loose at its beak; I let go of the line because I saw how the hook pulled his beak. The shark was pulling back, didn’t want to go to the surface with me and when I looked in his eyes and saw the fear, I let go of the line and had to come up for air. Was it his fear or my own fear that was reflecting in his eyes?
The shark was free now, but I didn’t have a chance no more to cut the line shorter.
D….d… he swam to the lava tube and there
was a bigger shark waiting for him. I could see he was happy to be free. His
tail was dancing from left to right. And I also saw the relief of the one in
the cave, as if this shark was waiting for the other. I went around the lava
tube to look through the window at the side; but couldn’t see them. Only a school
of fish came fast out of the hole. The waves were hitting the lava rocks hard,
so I had to get away from the window ( I call it a window, it is a hole in the
lava tube, that is in the form of a window). I returned to the cave and dove
again, but there was the bigger shark coming out the cave to let me know;
“No,no not now. I am happy he is safe and back, and nobody is going to come
near him!”
I tried to find some scuba divers to get the line totally off, but nobody wanted to do it; which was probably right.
I tried to find some scuba divers to get the line totally off, but nobody wanted to do it; which was probably right.
I alarmed some scuba dive friends for tomorrow and the
next days I am going to go out with my scissors. I might bump into him again. I
hope he can swim around with that line. The hook will fall off in a month or
so…
Ahhh I have to forgive myself I didn’t cut the line off when I could. And relax in what is.
As long as I THINK it should have been different then it is; I fight with what is. And that creates only resistant energy.
Ahhh I have to forgive myself I didn’t cut the line off when I could. And relax in what is.
As long as I THINK it should have been different then it is; I fight with what is. And that creates only resistant energy.
I can be happy he is free for now and
hope he always will be.
And just know: “I did the best I could, with what I had in me.”
And when I relax in what is, I feel happiness come into my heart. If I fight and think I should have done this or that, I only feel heaviness in my heart.
And just know: “I did the best I could, with what I had in me.”
And when I relax in what is, I feel happiness come into my heart. If I fight and think I should have done this or that, I only feel heaviness in my heart.
Time to let go and be happy I faced the
most fearful thing to me. I was so scared of sharks and now, today I set one
free. I hope, symbolic, I set myself free from any fear I ever will have in
life.
Not that I want to run away from it nor
ignore it. No, contrarily from now on I will see through it. Fear is a feeling
that comes AFTER I had a thought. The thought on itself is nothing if I don’t
belief it. Once I belief it; it can change a rope in a snake.
Looking through the fear is seeing through the illusion and seeing that a rope is a rope.
And the deeper question is… when I dove down to the shark and went deeper and deeper in the water, I passed the layer that is called FEAR, the layer that is called THOUGHT and came into the layer that is called I AM. It is the place where the shark and me are one.
He just appears in a shark and me in a human being, but in essence we are the same.
Looking through the fear is seeing through the illusion and seeing that a rope is a rope.
And the deeper question is… when I dove down to the shark and went deeper and deeper in the water, I passed the layer that is called FEAR, the layer that is called THOUGHT and came into the layer that is called I AM. It is the place where the shark and me are one.
He just appears in a shark and me in a human being, but in essence we are the same.
We are SPACE. Emptiness. God.
Hard to put words on it….
But in that space thoughts and feelings
can appear, bodies can appear and they are not constant. They will change. The I
AM space is CONSTANT and will always be there.
One moment of doubt, brought me back to my body and the fear and I didn’t cut the cord.
One moment of doubt, brought me back to my body and the fear and I didn’t cut the cord.
I can slam myself for not DOING or love
myself for being with what is in knowing that this is RIGHT; because everything
is always RIGHT.
At least he knows I love him and he felt free again.
At least he knows I love him and he felt free again.
I gave him the name Mano, which is the
Hawaiian word for shark.
Mano, thank you for this huge lesson…
Mano, thank you for this huge lesson…
Mana (life force in Hawaiian) to you
Mano.
Woow!
Love Tamara,
No comments:
Post a Comment