What the f..k is important?

I am

If I ever thought that I had to have some importance of so ever in my life, well that is ebbing away…
I had that as an artist. I wanted to be seen and be important. But I had the other thing going on too that I love to be at peace in my own little world. So I kind of sent mixed messages to the Universe.

Yes, NO…YES, NO…

I balanced from one identity into the other and it was very confusing to me.
Now I am going more and more in stillness and work with Mama-P. around that, I see I am behind that really.

In fact what I saw today in stillness is that I don’t really exist and that nothing really exists.
What we play here is a temporarily identity game.

I am not out of it. I still see that layers are falling off. I saw the movie of Beatrix Potter yesterday and it brought up a whole new layer that is helping me to release the identity of being ‘important’.

I saw tonight that seeing behind this game is the only importance really to life, because then you are the absolute that always IS.
All the rest is coming and going.

Everything you give the label ‘importance’ will eventually just fade away to what is really important.
It happens when we die…

We die to the importance of our mind, our body, our belongings, our titles, our friends, our loved ones, our….
I guess I am not waiting until that day to see through what is really important.

It sometimes is hard (mmm that’s a belief to J), because then I see how long I believed in something that actually is just a false identity.

I always wanted to be important as an artist, to save the world. HahaJ
I saw that I didn’t only do it to save the world, but my ego also needed something out of it.
We don’t do things like this if we don’t get anything ‘important’ out of it…J
I saw that I wanted to be important to feel worthy in a way, to mean something.
My self image was so low I exported all my authority.
I was prisoner of my own mind-game.

Today I kind of felt a little sad, because I saw that movie of Beatrix Potter. I also wanted, just like her that my books are successful and when I questioned my thoughts I even saw I was walking around with GUILT and FAILURE ideas.
Hmm…not so good energy to send into my world…

The good news was that I saw that it was NEVER my ‘IAM’ that felt GUILTY but my false IDENTITY of the one that needed to be important.
I guess that one is dying now…
Let’s celebrate this IMPORTANT event…
to true LIBERATION…

I’ll spread her memory tomorrow in the ocean between the dolphins and the turtles, who know they are important. You know …when I sing for them and they come so close because they love the attention, they know they are loved, they know how important they are…and they LOVE it…

They don’t think or make plans or calculate or have to do anything to make that happen…

I just appear in their lives, such as their buddies who love them… and they especially love their selves!!!!

They feel IMPORTANT in their own LIFE and that is the KEY to freedom!!!

I want more of that!
I want to learn from them and accept the attention I get! J

Yeah!

I am so important to BE ALIVE!!!
That’s what they taught me!

I HAVE LIFE…does that not make me super IMPORTANT!

I remember as a little girl I always said my thanks to existence…
My mom was catholic and my dad was an atheist, so I kind of was banged between those two things…
so my prayer I send to the sky… J
and to the one that wanted to hear it…J
I didn’t see any form particularly.
I mean before I went to bed, I always thanked existence that my mom and dad made it happen that one sperm travelled to one of her eggs and conceived me. I thought as a little girl I was so extremely lucky I was the one! J

Really that was so intense for me to think about that…

Maybe we can transform the word IMPORTANCE to the word ALIVENESS…

IF I AM ALIVE within myself and feel that ALIVENESS, the truth of my BEING…

The word ‘importance’ often is used as a word that measures and counts.
It is a word that the mind makes up to try to control that what feels unknown and NOT measurable!

 

Now about this important painting above…J
I made it a month ago, but I was still working on it.
It is the painting I made when I first realized I am not the body and not the mind.

I drew my body with bullets, fine lined with pencil to give a feeling of NOT PERMANENT.
OF NOT BEING IMPORTANT and in fact of BEING SUPER IMPORTANT!
You see me floating in the UNIVERSE, all what is.
I am connected to all what is with the spiral.

You can also refer to me being the drop in the Ocean. MY ‘IAM” is part of GOD.
And I AM GOD.
So what I painted here is the stage of ‘IAM’.
But I am also the one behind the ‘Iam’, which is symbolized by the sky behind the body.
Then the body is my physical life here…

In my existence here on earth I have SOUL CONNECTIONS, soul mates I call them, that travel with me.
Those are the dolphins. Mama-P. the turtles…
Each has their own world, is their own ‘IAM’ but is part of my Soul Community.
The bound is kind of effortless…
The red circle is the ‘IAM’ state. You can see that everything goes beyond that.
It is the drop in the Ocean.
It is red because it gives a feeling of safety.
It is the only place where you will ever feel safe.

It is the circle around the drop, but that emerges in God.
Everything is GOD.

Mmmm and is that not important?
Huh?

Sometimes I ask myself…am I not feeling too important to write these blogs here?

Is it caressing my ego?

But then there is always that inner pull, something that can’t stop writing…then I know it is as breathing…It belongs with me…

And that has to be enough…no-BODY ever really has to read it…J
In the place where we are ourselves it really doesn’t matter how important it is somebody reads it!
J Isn’t this an important message?

 

Love Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com