Wai'ha, Honu, my turtle friend died

This is a video I made with the wisdom Wai'ha shared with me.

His Spirit is within me now and in everybody that opens him/her self for the message of WAi'ha.

Please pass it on ….play it forward…

thank you, tamara

www.rainbowsheart.com

Wai'ha, Honu, my turtle friend

This is the painting I made this weekend to help Wai'ha, my turtle friend that I brought on shore when he was severely injured. I am still waiting how he is doing... and hoping he survives.

In the meantime I painted this picture to help him to or survive or move to another realm.

This painting is from my Soul to his Soul...

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
I will never be the same anymore…

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
you touched my Soul so deeply, it is as I am emerged in yours.

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
I hope you will survive,
but I know already…you told me…you never really die…

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
It happened spontaneously you got this name,
I gave it to you…but it was not really me…

Wai’ha
Honu, my turtle friend,
your name,
Breathe of the Waters,
Breathe of Mother Ocean,
the breathe of the living waters in all living things.

It is my breathe…

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
Guardian of wisdom,
you touched the wisdom core within me.

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
thank you for letting me embrace you,
it taught me I have strong love…

Wai’ha
Honu, my turtle friend,
Thank you for making me aware of my strong body,
it taught me to be in gratitude for the body I have…
Without my unique body I would not have been able to bring you in…



Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
I thank you for your willingness,
to let me carry you,
It taught me how good it feels to just carry

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
you made me aware of my heart,
to be able to move through any obstacle that came on our path.

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
you made me aware of my endurance,
It feels so good to know I would walk through fire for you.

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
You made me aware of my fortitude,
my strength and believe in myself was unbreakable in trying to save you.

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
you made me aware that life and death are not far apart,
and that both are in the same space and time.
It is that place that is called LOVE.

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
you taught me that love is the biggest force ever,
it is that force that lifts up 200 pound turtles.

Wai’ha,
Honu, my turtle friend,
You made me tap into the space of my true nature,
in that place I had only thoughts that I could do this.

Wai’ha
Honu, my turtle friend,
I hear you,
what I did for you, I have to start doing for me…

I hear you….
I love you…
I will always be with you…

Love tamara

www.rainbowsheart.com

Hoop doet leven! Hope gives LIfe!

Continuing the painting for Wai’ha to manifest it’s healing.

The medical reports are not so promising, but still I hope for a spiritual miracle. That’s why I painted Wai’ha soaring in the Ocean…I am ready to say that I accept either way…if it would be in this realm or the other. It doesn’t matter.

I am so in touch with his soul and so honored I could embrace him and bring him on shore.

The biggest concern is his lungs.  And also there is the concern that his fins are paralyzed in the back and even some organs as well.

We are waiting for more examinations and mostly Monday the doctor will make the final decision.

Any way the ranger J. told me this morning that it is amazing they gave him a chance and flow him over to Honolulu.
In Belgium we would say where there is LIVE there is HOPE!

Let’s hold on to that thought!

Just went walking on the beach and realized it is the other way around;

Where there is HOPE there is life!

Woow am losing my Dutch...have to practice more.

I thought that the boat was tracked and that the boater would be ‘punished’ or to say it more beautiful, receive some normal consequences for violating entering a reserve and for damaging a endangered species.
The Rangers assistant saw the whole accident, but ran to help the turtle and so didn’t have time enough to write down the number of the boat.

We can all look around, because there are only two grey rafts on the Island. And I think they are coming from Lahaina side.

Anyway, I don’t really believe in punishment, but I do believe in ‘making it pono’. I learned that In Hawaii. It means “making it right’. This captain of the boat has to make it right in a way.

And I guess God takes care of that and it is not really of my business.

It is between the captain and God.

But somehow I feel involved now. I embraced the honu so intensely to get him on shore.
it is as if we have bounding now…and I know It won’t help him one inch…I better just concentrate on the light inside of him, soul to Soul.

I just wanted to rapport you all what is happening….

The painting is not finished yet. Tomorrow I will do the final touch….

You see Wai’ha lying on the beach...
That’s how I know him the longest. I sat with him for an hour, until the Ranger got to us.
Then you see the light coming behind its shell. It is there where he got hit and needs angel energy.
Then I painted him soaring in the universe or the Ocean, or both. I give it in God’s hands and know that there is a bigger perspective to this whole event.

Maybe it was to know myself better and Wai’ha is serving me very well in that matter!!!
Then you see the pink bow..it is a disguised horn of abundance. It is a flow of pink compassioned energy.
Anyhow, Wai’ha is soaring to the light…whatever outcome it will be, he is going to be ok and peaceful.

Love to you,
tamara

www.rainbowsheart.com

The Turtle Wai'ha, let's pray for her!!!!

Oh My God!

Today I feel I carried a 200 pound turtle.
(that was her estimate according to the Ranger, I don’t know, I still do kilo’s and am learning the pounds :0)

I feel it I turned her. My whole body is sore.
My neck, my arms, my legs…oh my God I have a body that’s for sure!

It is as if I was standing under a building, looking up, arms wide open….

To catch the piano falling on ME!

Now I look back, it is amazing I got her in all by myself.
Give a flower to the kind tourist man I asked to hold her back right side so I could till up her head  once a while for breath.

Oh man,

I am so smashed.

It was the last 20 meters I had to do by myself that really jammed me… I hope she is doing ok..hope hope hope…

The first rapports of my…sorry but I gave her a name…my friend WAI’HA were not promising, but I try to hold the vision of a different reality. So right now I am going to start an intentional painting to bring her healing.

The rapport said the shell was severely damaged…
 It is! When I saw it I was terrified.
But then I was thinking about our teeth and how dentists can make crowns, and do magic.
 I bet they can with her. Yes we can do MAGIC! Let’s do MAGIC!
The less good part is that her fins would be paralyzed and that could mean…in my narrow perception…she can never return to the Ocean???

After reading the rapport I went running and I claimed to the Universe that miracles can happen.
I connected with Wai’ha’s Soul and asked her to choose to heal again…

To let us all in and let us send her healing energy…
I know that we don’t really die and always live…and if she chooses to die, it will be ok.

But something in my heart wants her to live!

The name Wai’ha comes from this funny story;

I had written in my blog yesterday “WOEHA they called me a hero!
My dear friend P.Yoda texted me later and called the turtle by her name Woeha.
I called her and we laughed so hard…in Belgium we would use that as a shout for happiness, for yeah!

WOEHA!

So P-yoda and me we thought it should be a Hawaiian name, because Honu is a Hawaiian turtle.
And I searched on the web, but didn’t find that WOEHA would be something Hawaiian. I think it is only something Belgian and…watch out the Belgians could deny and say it is something made up from this Belgian Hawaiian American girl that is me…J

Anyway WAI is water in Hawaiian and HA is breath…
I called her WAI’HA because

 I HAVE THE INTENTION SHE IS GOING TO BREATHE AGAIN IN THE OCEAN!!!!

Please pray for Wai’ha, or beloved mother turtle that was hit by a propeller from a boat in Ahihi reserve. A refuge and sanctuary for wild life where boats not supposed to come!!!!

Let us pledge that this story of Wai’ha thought us to respect all wild life and to protect it and to LOVE it with our hearts, our Souls and body’s.
Let us pledge that we will start making a better place for wild life, with simplifying our own lives.
We pledge to not buy any unnecessary luxury anymore; that takes away the beauty of our planet, our animals, our Universe and SO OURSELVES!

We pledge we fill us up with the breath of HA and to feel the water WAI and to know that this simple touch of life is life itself. And it is for free!

We are all one and what we do to another, we do to ourselves.

I pledge with you for all of this,

That we not only protect Wild life...but embrace it...by knowing we are part of it and not separated from it.
We ARE wild life!
It are our brothers and sisters...we should treat them as brothers and sisters!

With love, tamara

www.rainbowsheart.com

Woeha, they called me a hero! I saved a turtle today!

They called me a hero today!

I am so proud of myself!

I rescued a wounded turtle. I am so proud of my body that had an extraordinary power in the moment I had to do it. I have the same power when I swim with dolphins. It is as if I have turbo power.

My friend Bibi and I went in the morning with the goal to find our wounded turtle. We found another one first, an entangled one who had a fish line from his mouth attached to his fin. We didn’t get this one today…tomorrow hopefully…he was still ok and won’t die immediately.
Then we started looking for the wounded turtle, all over the reserve. Bibi went one direction and I took the other one. I knew Bibi was cold already from our first attempt to save that one turtle that I assumed she went back on land when I searched for her.

But I knew that if I would not get the turtle today, she would die definitely. I saw her yesterday and she was already showing balance distortions. And with a wound like that, she would have attracted sharks.

I couldn’t find her, I swam all over the place, looked in all the little holes I knew they were hiding; but no result. Then I just asked guidance to guide me to her. “Red rock”; I heard.  Red rock is for me a particular area where there is more red coral. So I just swam to red rock and there she was hanging on top of the water. She made it easy for me. A tourist was taking a picture from this very ‘laidback’ turtle. He must have been in shock when he saw me putting my one hand under her belly and putting my other hand around her shell. J., the ranger just had taught me how to do it!

Never let them drawn, keep their head up. I was pretty far from shore and I asked the tourist if  he had something to do and maybe could just help me holding her straight.

I swam as a crazy horse (that is my identity at my best! Haha! J)

I knew we had only little time and her time was all what counted now. She needed to get on a flight to Oahu, as fast as possible.

I navigated around the coral and had to hold her strong when there was a current, while I was just giving everything in my legs. I just didn’t care of pain or cramps, just go for it…Go Go Go…

We entered the cove and I made one mistake to stop and to take my snorkel off. The cove is very shallow and it would be extremely difficult to get on shore with the turtle me and M. the tourist.
I explained the tourist that it was tricky and what to watch out for.
She kind of felt what was happening and she started fighting me. Oh damn, I just had put my snorkel up. I managed it to fight her off, to keep in holding her to put my mask back on and to make the decision to not talk about it, but to just do it…now or never!
I took her in my arms and just swam as hard as I could. I didn’t see M. anymore I knew this last part was my part, the rocks were everywhere. I needed to navigate with her in my arms through the waves. She was flip flopping, hitting me with her fins…Poor baby, … (talking about the turtle, not about me J. Maybe about me too, because she was intense)

… I had to ignore that and just keep on going…going going…just go go go…

When I came closer, I kind of held her in my arms and together we were flowing between the really shallow rocks,…I was looking for a good spot where I could stand and held her…
She really started fighting now and she even hit me on the head… poor baby…(maybe I should say Rich baby, because she gets another change to live! J)

The ranger J. just had taught me to turn them around in the water when they do that, …

“Ok everything or nothing”, I thought and turned her around. Belly up.
 It went wonder well, she stopped the fight.
I saw M. the tourist back now... He was behind me. Thank you so so much M. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without you. Well I think the Universe sent you!
And I would have done it any way…. :)
No way I was going to leave this bay today before this mama Honu was saved.

 It was amazing to turn a 200 pound turtle upside down, in the waves, standing on my fins,…holding her tight…
Me, telling her; “You are not going anywhere, you are going to LIVE!”
My will for her to live was so strong…
while I was bringing her in I had talked to her, told her how much I loved her. Maybe that did it.
The love..The power of love.

Nothing else.

I shouted (I am so sorry for those poor tourists) to the shore to stop taking pictures and come and help me bring her on land. And with the 3 of us we brought her on land, half in the water half out of the water. And I put my body in front of her and the ocean…you are safe now, relax…just relax and she did.
I could relax now too. She and I waited about 40 minutes half in and out of the water until J. the ranger came.

Funny thing was that I saw how I was amazing in giving commends to people…that never happened before in my life. As if I changed in the leader figure…hmm different identity. Interesting.

I sat there caressing my new friend; telling her she would be ok now.

She had 3 big wounds on her shell. A boat had come in the reserve and a propeller hit her. They are not supposed to come in the reserve. I don’t understand people sometimes.

J.,the ranger showed up and she is on her way to Honolulu now. The ranger was so happy, he is an amazing man. We had both tears in our eyes. She is going to make it!
We saved a life today!
And maybe many more, because she was a big mama, that can give birth too many little mini turtles.

People gathered around the truck and called me a hero…and sorry it might be my ego, but I liked it!

One man had reported mea half hour earlier harassing the turtle. And it was funny to see him there.
But it’s good people do that, watching over our wild life. He called me a hero afterwards and took my picture with my little honu friend.

My body was still thrilling form the intense work-out.
Thank you my wonderful strong body! Thank you , thank you.

I always believe that there is invisible power helping us and maybe some angels might have helped me carrying this honu.
It is an honor to be able to do such a service.

I am still thrilled by what happened. I had to eat and sleep when I came home…

It is an amazing journey, physically but spiritually and emotionally…

In Belgium we say:

Where there is a will there is a way.
My will to save that turtle today was unbeatable. I would have done anything…
well maybe I did.

Please let us all send her light and love, just like I painted it in this painting.
That she heals fast and painless and swims soon back in the Hawaiian waters free and joyful!

I paint them, and love them so much.
You can view my art on my website www.rainbowsheart.com

A new painting: Higher energies

This is a new painting!!!!

When I swim with dolphins I am taken to another dimension. It is the dimension where power is multiplied. It is even so that I have the feeling that my body can do things that it would normally not be able to do.
It is the dimension where all things are possible. It is the dimension where there is no judgment.

It is the place where there are –no bodies-I mean by this it is the place where we are spirit.

We are not our body anyway. We have our bodies in this moment in time to have an earthy experience.

But this is not who we really are. Who we are is SOUL.
In that realm we can do anything. There is no distance or time, there is only love…

The dolphins want us to know that this realm is the same where we are right here and now; in the body.

We just have to believe it and BE it.

That means that we must drop all limiting beliefs….

EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

Take a breath and experience God moving through you.

God in you…

Breathe out…
Breathe in love…
Breathe out love…
Breathe in love…

God is love, and love is God.
You are God, and God is You.
You are LOVE.
I am love.
I am you and you are me.
Oneness...

Love , Tamara

www.rainbowsheart.com

Damned

Damned

Two days ago I just had deleted from my dictionary or from my possibilities in life:

“The dark night of the Soul.”

I was enthusiastic; it doesn’t exist anymore in my world! Over and out. That simple!
Done with it!
I thought that we are the creators of our world, so why would I allow that kind of s… still in my life?

Ye , ye…
There it was yesterday, it caught up with me….

It is as if we get tested when we put something bold like that in the field…

Oh ye…no darkness anymore, let’s see…what are you going to do with this?

Wham…
It was as my angel was standing behind me and whacked me with a two by four.
Great…
Well, I must say it was dawn dark! J
Painful, sad, etc….

The great thing about me (isn’t that wonderful we think like this about ourselves, well I think it is amazing I think about this myself lately) is that I don’t blame any external cause; but that I immediately go within to see what’s going on. I experienced when you do that that the light goes on much faster, then when you would blame, resist, persist, whine,…
lalalala

This time and many other times I can’t give myself all credit for this resurrection out of the death.
Most of the times I am fortunate, because God sends me an angel friend to help me coming back to the light.
Thank you P-Yoda, my Yoda in the light, my Jedi teacher, my loving friend and so many many other identities… we share together.
She walked with me in the darkness and held me and assured me the light was going to come back again. She loved me, even when I was announcing shitty things; she was standing in my back when I was anxious as hell.
She was even excited it was happing with me, so I could finally get rid of all limiting beliefs and identities I created in the past to survive. That thought of hers gave me a lot of hope. Finally I would be liberated of s…! (4 letter word)

I don’t want to say it out loud, because tomorrow I can be tested again with another wacko…but I truthful think I had a major shift yesterday.
You can’t imagine but I was intense sad, intense searching for the light…It was so so THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL!
The whole day I was moving in this darkness…as I was wading in the underworld of all my past old stinky beliefs….

And then this morning it happened spontaneous when I was running…
there was one word P-Yoda had spoken and that word opened my whole world, as never before.
It was the word TEAM.
My wounded child was so in pain yesterday, for all these years I had beaten her, starved her to death and never really listened. I thought others should take care of her, because I didn’t even know how.
The horse in me, the powerful creator was annoyed for really long to have this ‘needy’ child in me.

What do you need?
I don’t know how to feed you?

The identity of the wounded child can appear from when we were still in the womb, or when we were babies; where we felt we were not WANTED.
When we are older it is our job to want them, and I really didn’t know how to do that.
Until this morning I just felt she (the wounded child) trusted me.
I felt it deep inside...that trust…I never have felt that before in my life.
She was the one that announced from now on we are a team.
As she forgave me for all the torture I let her go through in the past.

And the horse identity could see for the first time that it can’t live without that child energy. It is my art!
Before I wanted to delete it, shut it up,….
the horse said; ”I am so sorry for all what I did to you, but I NEED you to be with me, because without you I am not whole. Yes we need to be a team, because you are the artist, the child, the creator….

It felt so strange, something I never felt before in my life. I felt I could trust me for the first time in my life, really…it is sad it took so long…but what is time, right? Everything in perfect timing!

I didn’t feel lonely anymore. It was the child that felt so lonely, abandoned and rejected.

I became a PARENT today!

For days I heard my voice, my inner guidance telling me that I need to make a You tube video for anorexia people. And it felt it was time, but this was the piece that was still missing. I know deep inside, because I was there for so long that this is what most anorexia and eat disorder people are missing.

 It is the love for the wounded child.

They leave the wounded child sitting on an empty rock in no-man’s-land, where there is only loneliness and it is freezing cold. They let the wounded child starve to death….they don’t want the child…
they just refuse and beg other’s to do it for them. They don’t know how..

Thank you P-Yoda being with me..loving me, when I could not love me.
Thank you!

The child says, the horse says..hand in hand…a creative TEAM!

Amazing..when I was making this blog I wondered which painting to add. I opened a doc and the computer choose for me! And choose the child!!!!!
I painted this in 1997 and people always asked me if it was me, when I was little...

it is so a wonderful sign for me to see that this painting popped up...
It is the symbolic of LIGHT, ABUNDANCE and FREEDOM to me...

Waaw Than you Angel..this was not a two by four..but a wonderful gift...

I know i know, your two by fours are too. I know...i know...

Thank you my guardian Angel...we ARE a TEAM!
The whole Universe is my TEAM!!!

I am WANTED!

Love tamara.

www.rainbowsheart.com

I want ME

My friend A. just told me; “Rainbow, you have a magical life.”

I don’t know what he means by that; I mean is his life not as magical as mine?
Is my life more magical then his? I hope we are equal in the magic…I hope that for him.

I thought everybody’s life was as magical then mine.
I felt about it and a little flagrance of guilt waved over my shoulder, because I had the thought;
“Maybe I am not thankful enough.”
Maybe I don’t see how magical my life is.
Maybe..
Maybe…

Those maybe’s never do me good.
I came to see when I start using the ‘maybe’s’ I am THINKING,
and I have to watch out when those thoughts come; they can bring me on a total different path, I really WANT to walk.

We don’t have to shut of our mind, but befriend the mind. Listen to it and see if it is true and then let it serves our hearts. Let it serve the WANT-energy in our lives.

I come more and more in the place that I can WANT something in my life.
Before I always thought in the terminology of;”I can not need.”

Kind of: I am a bad girl if I NEED something.

Well it is now for two days that I realize that doing this dance with needing and wanting is ridiculous.
You can say the Universe is a big diamond and we are all a part of that diamond. We are all unique and equal and can’t be missed. But the Universe/God doesn’t NEED us. The Universe will be fine without us.
NO!
I really believe that that is a wrong thought. NOBODY can be missed; we are part of the whole.
We are one.
The Universe doesn’t NEED us but WANTS us!

Wanting is good, wanting being YOU, being all that you can BE,
wanting to love your Self,…

If we want we are like God, God wants us…
so why would we not WANT us?

And so WANT God.

It still feels weird…

But YES I have a magical life, because I WANT too!

Yes I can WANT!

ME.

Innocence

Pigs…who would want to hang pigs on their wall?
But look to them..who wouldn’t want to put pigs on their wall?

If something makes you smile…right?

Isn’t that life?

Doesn’t life make you smile?

Can we make it so easy we can just hang a poster of some cute piggy’s and smile?
Sometimes I say to myself; ”Why making it easy, if you can make it difficult?”

That is a joke.

RIGHT!

This morning my day started fabulous..you know why?

Because it started…I had and have a new day on this beautiful earth!
What a blessing!
Without any thoughts, without anything..it was marvelous to get up and breathe and know; ”I am alive!”

I went running and the amazing sky added to that full feeling of BEING ALIVE…

I am alive…mmmmm

Haleakala was breathing air and was standing as a KING, as every morning but maybe a little more this morning.
I turn around the street, still running and a woman on a bicycle shouted at me; “YOU ARE DOING GREAT!”
Man, I needed that, the day before my troublesome thoughts had taken me on a different path and it was as if I forgot yesterday how great I was doing.
But ‘hei’ (dutch for Hi!)this woman assured me, what was already known by me, deep inside.
I AM DOING GREAT!

Everything what I saw after that was greater than the moment before…
Thank you disguised stranger on the bicycle, thank you God!

How we can help somebody..it is so easy…a compliment can help somebody rise in their power.
It is a disguised action of Grace. It is LOVE!

Yeah, I was doing great…

Half hour later…done running…feeling great…

I walk in my gate and every morning a gecko sits in a narrow spot between the gate.
He/ she waits for the sun to come and to sunbathe… Well, that is my story about him. Maybe he/she sits there to tell me how great I am, but I never listened yet!
“Hei”, I tell him, “I am doing great!”

He looks at me with his big eyes, and holds his little toes strong, because he /she knows that he will swing/move with me; while I am opening the gate.
(Maybe that’s why he /she sits there every day! A free swing! Disneyland!)
I walk on my steps and there are my two mina birds welcoming me, with loud laugher.
“We know!” they shout, “You are doing great! We are doing great too!”
(They are always doing great J and being LOUD) I love them.

Just to let you know how simple life can be, if we find that gratitude in our hearts for the wonder of life.
And we are open for all the gifts that come our way. Do we see them? Do we hear them? (mina birds on my lanai telling their story)

What has those little piggies’s to do with my story…nothing really.
Maybe two things we take things for granted.
Like for instance getting up in the morning...it is a blessing!
Having pigs in this world is a blessing, how are we going to treat them?
Are we going to see them with a Soul or as a number?
They get up every morning with a breath, let’s treat them as they ARE GREAT!

And then second, they bring in the world the energy of innocence.
That is the gift of life in any moment in time. We are all innocent, until we see what we think.
I learned that from Byron Katie.

It is our thoughts that make us less great then we truly are. We just think ourselves not great.
But the good news is that we can just THINK ourselves great and IT IS!

Let’s just be GREAT!

Love Tamara,

www.rainbowsheart.com

Heart beat

There is only ONE…

We are that ONE!

Come in your center and you are in the center of the one.
Feel the heartbeat of the universe..it is YOUR heart beat!
Dolphins show us to live as a WE-tribe, to be together as ONE.

To be the heartbeat,
 to be the rhythm of love…
To BE LOVE….

There is only ONE moment I can be that heart beat:
 Here and Now…

In the heart beat there is no yesterday and no tomorrow..but only now…
And the heartbeat is Unlimited space…

Ever heard the heart beat of a mountain?

I went a lot to France, it is one of my loved places on earth. My friend and I followed the path of the Catharses. The Catharses was a tribe of people living in the middle ages. They had a different opinion that the Church in that time and got prosecuted for that reason. They believed that women were equal and they worshipped Maria Magdalena.
As initiation they had to stay a long time in the caves in the center of the mountain. I can’t remember exactly how long, but I believe it was 2 years. We literarily had to push ourselves through small holes in the center of the Mountain. As you have lava tubes, these entrances were like tubes leading to a bigger space. Each other person had a flashlight and had to hold the light for the person behind him/her. It was very intense and I wanted to do it, because I am a little claustrophobia and wanted to push me through that fear. It was also a initiation of new birth that we wanted to accomplish by walking this journey.

I love space and I love light. I love to see around me…spacious is my energy…So it was a challenge for me being in the darkness inside a mountain. Sometimes we had to crawl on our bellies to get through the narrow holes.

I was sweating in the caves, and was relieved when we came in a bigger chamber.
I didn’t know then yet what are guide was planning to do.
We were all sitting quietly and suddenly he commanded to turn off all lights.

Oh my God, I will never forget the feeling. First I was so scared; I didn’t have control, because I was the one without flashlight. I would never know how to find my way back out of those underground caves.
But then I heard the Mountain…it was soooooooo intense! I heard the heart beat of the Mountain.
I will never forget that..that was a turnaround for me in my life, when I knew that everything has a heartbeat. EVERY LIVING BEING..everything that exists, that is energy has a heartbeat.

I connect with the Soul of Haleakala in the morning, I greet the Soul of Mother Ocean, I say hello to the soul of every fish, every stone..of every human being…

Their heart beat is mine…
When I hurt inside, I hurt them…

My job is to take care of my heart beat and so I take care of everybody’s heart beat…

LIVING from the heart is simple.
You just need to be the heart beat…

Like I was sitting in the grotto, listening, and letting the fear go of my stressful thoughts and just BE…
BE the MAGIC of the moment and feel the heart beat…

The TRUE peace came when I came in the truth of my own heartbeat…

When you are in the truth of your own…you are with others…

My heartbeat to yours,

LOVE,TAMARA

Dolphin Splendor

Dolphin Splendor

I feel that dolphins are the freest beings on this planet. What I mean by that is that they know who they truly are.
They don’t live in time and space reality. They live in the reality of the One.

It is hard to describe the reality of the One, because in reality there is not really a concept for it. We can call it God, The universe,…but eventually it is UNLIMITED.
And when you realize that…and that is what dolphins KNOW…you ARE in the center of ALL.

They travel through this immense space where time and space doesn’t exist. It is the space where we all are. It is the true reality. It is the middle point of the Universe, and we are all in that middle point. There is no distance between you and me, between the dolphin and me.

We are all one in that middle point.

How can we be in that middle point? How can we travel there?
It is to just be in your own middle point.

It is to be aligned with your own being, your Soul.

You only have to take care of your center and automatically you take care of everybody’s center.
You placed your Self in your own center, in everybody’s center, in God’s center.

No need to travel, no need have to do something special…then to live in the here and now each moment again and again.
And when we die, it doesn’t stop..it is just the same as we lived…only when we are dead we will see that we never lived before, that we never existed before, really.

But that EXISTENCE is the middle point.
And that is what is right here and now.

We are and we aren’t.
We live and we don’t.
We are death and we aren’t.

WE ARE.

Love Tamara

FIRE HORSE, the key to true security

This painting I made when I was still living in Belgium.
It resonates with my energy a lot. I am a Saggitarius and my ascendant lies on the cusp between Aries and Pisces. I am the fire horse in the water, and that is how I really feel when I swim with dolphins.

 I have the fire to just go and to just move through fears that otherwise keep me on land, or not let me dare to swim out far. I have the COURAGE. The word courage comes from French or Latin and means ‘from the heart’. And I am like that..when I feel something in my heart I go for it. I don’t stop really…until God tells me it is enough…but mostly that fire energy resonates with God, because it is my alignment.

It is that alignment that I want to find in each new moment…being God, being me.

It is a good thing, my fire energy. It gives me a lot of endurance.
I see this passionate energy of the horse more as a friend, than as a wild running desire that breaks through walls.
I am intense sometimes and I think that a lot of people think I got in trouble by being so intense. And that I could have avoided some things in life, if I would have been more cautious.
But I learned out of my experience I just got in trouble, when I wasn’t the horse!

I have found that if you are truly yourself, there is no way you can be possible a victim, because you are the essence of yourself. You follow your Self, you ARE the CREATOR.

When I was in alignment with myself I could move mountains and I had much endurance.

I dared to live!

It brought me Hawaii!
It brought me the dolphins!
I am the artist!
etc…

When I look back to my life , all good things happened when I was me.
All ‘bad’ things came into my life, when I betrayed me.

The horse brings me adventure and love.

This energy is as the FOOL card in the tarot deck…
It is the jump in the unknown knowing that God is with me.
Knowing that what I feel my heart tells me, is God telling me.
Knowing that there is no separation between me and God.
Knowing that the intensity in my Soul is my inner guidance leading me on my path of love, the path WITHIN!

It was when I didn’t follow that voice and compromised myself I got on a path of pain, because I stepped away from who I really am.

I remember me as a child having this fire energy. I attracted children who were not wanted. I was not wanted, people didn’t understand my energy. I was always with the not wanted, weird kids… the outcasts, the ones that didn’t fit in. I felt not fitting in….That’s why I probably attracted the community of the kids “not fitting in”. Anyway I would not have wanted it otherwise. I always was fighting with the underdog, being the underdog myself. But that underdog energy carried the fire-horse energy, so I didn’t really cared so much. I was ok.
I remember that the whole class would fight on my brother and me because I was wearing boy’s shoes and he was wearing girls shoes.
I remember that I stayed myself, no matter what and that I kept on being the Horse fire energy…
And it took only a little while and they stopped. Looking back now, I believe that keeping my alignment with my true self was functioning as a shield against the bullies.

I had situations in my life where I wasn’t so brave and I betrayed the horse-fire energy and it brought me only misery.

I pushed my horse-fire energy away when my mom died and I accused myself for my fire energy and thought I was the cause of her death, because others told me so…

They are not to blame, I see that now. I could have not believed them. But I did.
I believed my grand mom and dad when they accused me in their own indescribable pain.
Seeing the truth is seeing that besides them I accused myself in the first place, they were only a projection of what I was thinking.

It is only 20 years later I figured that out…

I choose to believe in that moment in time, as a 20 year old girl, that my bold fire energy has caused my mom pain and that that was the reason she got cancer. I believed that because I was gay, she was in so much grieve; she got sick.

All those thoughts were my thoughts.
I never took responsibility for it. I blamed my dad and grand ma. and so stayed the victim for about 20 years.
It was when I owned that I was responsible in BELIEVING my thoughts, that I could change them.

And by doing that I liberated myself, my dad and grandma.

The painful thoughts (=being gay or causing my mom pain) that I thought had brought my mom cancer, were the cause of my own terminal illness.

We can only make ourselves sick. We are only responsible for our own lives. And that is enough!
My guilt-full thoughts brought me anorexia nervosa and  my weight dropped to 72 pounds, until I was dying.

I didn’t KNOW then what I know today…

I WAS RESPONSIBLE for all the thoughts I had and have.
What ever my dad or grandma told me, I didn’t have to take it on.
I didn’t have to believe it.
It is their business what they think of me.
What IS my business IS WHAT I THINK OF ME!
And their lies the POWER.
I AM THE CREATOR of my own life; I am the captain of my own thoughts!
Through my thoughts I create my life.
Which life am I going to choose?

It is that simple.

You just choose your thoughts…
and here comes the real key with that powerful choice...
 

YOU CHOOSE YOUR THOUGHTS in ALIGNMENT with your TRUE SELF.

For me that is fire-horse Power energy.
There will be always people that would want to stop you…
YOU BEING YOU.
That is their job, so you can become stronger aligned with YOU.

It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to BE YOU, and to choose your thoughts according to who you really ARE!

What a revelation, it means that we HAVE our lives!
We are the owners of our lives and we are the creators of our lives and so WE have a choice in every moment!

I can promise you when you are your TRUE SELF you are one with God and there lies the SECURITY you are longing for, for a really long time.
I know that most of us look outside and try to grab whatever they can get. Houses, money, friends, partners, jobs,…
The thought that salvation is found in an external force, will never bring you salvation.
I can promise you; I tried it. It doesn’t work.
The salvation lies within!
IN BEING YOUR TRUE SELF.

And in REFUSING to compromise, to betray YOU!

Because …your True Self is your alignment with GOD.

You are God, and God is you!

In that space it is Impossible you would not be ok.

BE YOU!

B.U! (=Being UNLIMITED)

Love tamara

Visit my website www.rainbowsheart.com

Horse Power

I don’t know what it is with me, but since I started my blogs and  I look back, I see that at some times I could open myself vulnerable, some other times I could not write and had to go inside and keep it only there.

It was not that I didn’t dare to open me to the world in order to be an example and to teach, because that is what I truly feel what is wanted from me. It just comes naturally out of me. I wrote a book. Well I wrote 3 children’s books and a poem book. But 2 or 3 years ago I wrote a book, that has the title: “The power of Gratitude” I thought it was finished.
But it is not, because since 6 months I live my life upside down. So I feel I have to continue and tell what is going on….
 Just before my birthday I met this amazing teacher and since that time I changed …what 180 degrees?

 It is time to continue my book  and put it upside down and write further.

I feel it would be good to read how I got to the point where I turned it upside down and why and how…
I am just sharing my life experiences in my book and the wisdom I gained out of it.
I believe that what happened to me in the past, has happened to share with people why it is not necessary to have those events in your life. But it is also not a shame to have them. It is just what it is and I have a lot of experience to know how I can lift people out of those events. Once you accept life as it is, everything changes.
 My expertise in life would be of a person who was totally in the identity of the victim.
Staying in that identity is a vicious circle that never ends.
I poured myself into it, wallowed in it…punished myself for about 20 years thinking it was the only way I could live my life. Back then I felt so powerless and I didn’t know how to get out of it.
I didn’t know it was as easy as making a choice to turn the book upside down and write a new story.

We always have the choice. Everything in life is our own responsibility. If we live from that perception, we are captains of our Souls!

So I started writing my own new story. I didn’t know I had that power.
I didn’t know I had the right.
I didn’t know it was possible.
But I came to see that all things are possible.
All things are possible because, I make them possible.
I take charge over my own life.
This has nothing to do with power, but all with responsibility.
It is a different kind of power.
Before I would have thought that taking charge over my life was making things happen.
I tried that for years and I just start giving it up now. Why would I try to make something happen in my own limited power, if I can just let the Universe help me with its Unlimited power?

Now I know that taking responsibility is to be the one I want to be, and to let God .

I don’t have to make anything happen anymore. I don’t have to push nor pull, I just have to relax in the one I truly am. And for me that is the horse. When I am there I can make miracles happen.

I painted this painting of me, the horse with the dolphins to hold my energy. To be the one I truly am.
Daily our thoughts try to take us away, of our true Nature. Thoughts can come and go. If we don’t believe them we don’t anker them in our lives. They just come and go.
So the painting I brought in this life is to keep me strong in my horse identity.

I know when I am the horse the dolphins allow me in the pod and I am one with them. When I step away from my identity I truly am, they swim away from me. When I am the horse they take me with them on amazing adventures in the wide open ocean.
When I am the horse I don’t care what other people think, because I know I am one with God and my true self. The judgment of others doesn’t reach me really. It is even not of my business what they think of me. I am.
the horse wants and longs and desires …and holds the energy of BEING…the Universe responds on my desires and presents situations. My job is to not fill it in with my limiting beliefs, but to be open what can show up. And to be receptive…

It is an exciting life.

I turned my book upside down and changed of identities.

I moved from being a victim to being a creator.

I pledge to be the horse every moment of Now…and to let the Old Self die, in the arms of the loving horse.

I am in joy, make bubbles and dance..I am the horse, I am the horse…living a life of joy!
Done with the drama and the poe hoe oe…done with giving my authority away…
I am the horse riding my life with faith that I will be provided in the right moment…always!

While I am writing this blog one of the two mina birds (I hope I write this right) came and flew on my screen. He is sweet (if he is the he). Since I few days they visit me every day, pick in my bathing suit, walk on my deck, tell their whole story and I respond with mine… And they return over and over.

They don’t like my food, because whatever I give they try it and then give me the look; “You eat it yourself!”

I can’t imagine anymore what they would want. I gave them raisins, banana, grains,…I hope they don’t want that this vegetarian girl is digging up a worm…no no that is their job, I am not a bird I am a horse!

Am always open for God’s miracles and this is one of them. Thank you mina birds for your blablabla…(because they can be loud J)..it is such a gift to have two birds visiting…
even when they spit out my food and give me the look…

J

Love Tamara

Visit my website www.rainbowsheart.com

Symbolic meanings behind my paintings

I decided to open a shop on my website where you can buy my art in prints, giclees or shirts. So it is for all people. As I believe that my art can change the world with its power and intension I intent to spread it around the world.

In the past I didn’t want to describe my paintings and let it over to the imagination of the viewer. And I still love that. But it is as if I am pushed in another direction and asked to teach through my art.
So with every piece you will see that I write the symbolic meaning of the painting.

It is this energy that is the intention behind the painting and is the power behind the images you see.

This meaning can help change a particular stuck energy in your life or in general.

For instance…
I just wrote the explanation of this little elephant. The symbolic meaning is REBIRTH.
When you are in your life where you landed in such a situation, this painting might help you bringing the energies on a higher level of understanding and awareness.
Also if you are just attracted to the image, without having a major life shift on hand; you might benefit of the symbolic meaning behind the painting.

Explanation little Elephant:

You will see that I am driving within my paintings to capture a multi dimensional world. I want to share with people that we are more than our bodies. We are Soul and live from that center. Here you see a baby elephant and you see the spiral runs through his body. This is symbolic for the infinite life we carry inside. When our bodies die, our Soul keeps living.

I have a feeling with elephants that they carry the energy of REBIRTH.

It is a symbolic rebirth in this life time we have several times after certain episodes in our lives.
 But I also refer to the multi infinite lives we live on this planet or other galaxies.
And as dolphins teach me, we don’t even have to die in this body here and now to experience this multi dimensional existence. We are it.
Elephants are like the wise holders of that wisdom. It are like the elders, the kapuna’s they would call it in Hawaii.
Listen to the elephant and find the peace that he/ she walks the earth knowing that this is just one experience out of many….

love tamara

Please visit my website www.rainbowsheart.com

Kapuna Aunty Ruby

Aunty Ruby is a kapuna out of my imagination. Maybe she existed, I don’t know.
She was my kumu when i was painting her; kumu means ‘teacher’.
Kapuna means elder.
Elders are in Hawaii very honored and are mostly leaders and teachers, because they have so many experience and wisdom. They practice the ALOHA (love), PONO(righteousness), MALAMA (caring), and spirituality with grace.
Kapuna also means ancestor, and includes the many generations before us. Hawaiians speak with their ancestors to know which spiritual guidance to follow. Among the kapuna are the family guardian spirits or aumakua who takes physical shape in the form of honu (turtle), pueo (owl), shark..etc…My aumakua is the dolphin and the Pueo.

Aunty Ruby gave me profound lessons.
One was that you have to follow your spirit, your soul within.
You follow your breath HA…and you end up inside of you..there is where your source is, there is where the kapuna is. There is where you go and follow. You become a servant of God.
And God becomes your servant. you are One with God.
Ha is the breath of life, it is the essence, it is GOD.

When you are there, nothing external of you can touch you; can bring you out of balance.

You know who you really are, you are aloha, you are LOVE.
Her presence speaks of a deep knowing..she lives the BREATH HA.
She takes conscious breaths with lots of gratitude for life.
She knows breath is life!

She exhales HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….she shares her Spirit with the oneness of God. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA exhale….

Aunty Ruby, mahalo for your breath into mine, your spirit in mine....
My spirit in yours, my breath in yours,....
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mahalo, Tamara

Please vist my website www.rainbowsheart.com