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| My new painting standing on my painting easel |
I said I am sorry because I am not getting to write as much…
And I LOVE to write!
What that means is that I do things that I even LOVE more…
Oh my goodness, I love my life so much. I am having a blast.
Dolphins, turtles…Ocean…
and this morning …
a whale underneath me suddenly…
Oh waaaw they are big…all the energy in your body kind of moves, is electrolyzed, is shaking when you see this beautiful enormous being slowly moving underneath you, coming up and knowing he or she is checking you out…
What that means is that I do things that I even LOVE more…
Oh my goodness, I love my life so much. I am having a blast.
Dolphins, turtles…Ocean…
and this morning …
a whale underneath me suddenly…
Oh waaaw they are big…all the energy in your body kind of moves, is electrolyzed, is shaking when you see this beautiful enormous being slowly moving underneath you, coming up and knowing he or she is checking you out…
The water was a little murky, so I just saw a massive body
going under me, coming up…
And the surprises were not done yet…a little later I saw my first hammer shark ever!!!
Lucky for me, it was a little baby… But where there is a baby, there must be a mom somewhere…J
The only thing I have again is pain in my left flank and I am pretty sure I have another kidney stone coming out… Did you hear me?
And the surprises were not done yet…a little later I saw my first hammer shark ever!!!
Lucky for me, it was a little baby… But where there is a baby, there must be a mom somewhere…J
The only thing I have again is pain in my left flank and I am pretty sure I have another kidney stone coming out… Did you hear me?
Coming out!!!
Time to leave my body, yoehoe! J
I see myself watching it…I see my personality getting worried; but the real me…the IAM is relaxed and peaceful underneath all of that worry…
Time to leave my body, yoehoe! J
I see myself watching it…I see my personality getting worried; but the real me…the IAM is relaxed and peaceful underneath all of that worry…
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The intention before I started was to paint what I needed to do to break through the fear of not having abundance.
LOL
I came quickly to see that in awareness you don’t have to break through anything!
Just falling into that, who I really am, and I fall into abundance.
That is what happened with painting this painting…J
Since that painting, I am not in fear anymore.
I can see clearly that fear comes from ‘the mind’, my mind, and that is not who IAM.
The mind, my mind, is or in the past or in the future. It is
never correct, never real, it is never there in the space WHAT IS!
It or compares with the past, or makes things up for the future…
A funny story as example of my funny mind I can give you with telling you of my conversation with Mama-P. yesterday night.
It or compares with the past, or makes things up for the future…
A funny story as example of my funny mind I can give you with telling you of my conversation with Mama-P. yesterday night.
I was sick, almost vomiting after drinking the 2onz olive
oil and 2onz of lemon juice mixed.
The cure for kidney stones.On top of that I drank apple cider vinegar and that didn’t go so well with my stomach.
It absolutely went into a strike, in opposition and refused to work anymore.
It threw all barricades up…no more…no no, you won’t do that to me anymore…
my stomach protested!
It was funny, I was telling Mama-P. how I am eating ‘healthy stuff’ lately.
BUT
that I allowed myself to have an unhealthy snack in the afternoon( I was not sick yet… J))
but when I came in the store, I just couldn’t buy that crap.
I guess that a shift in consciousness goes together with an immense love for all what life brings me.
Like my body...
I am taking care of my body so much lately…anyway…
I made the remark,….keep in mind I am laying down on a made bed on the floor, any possible moment having to threw up….
So I say to her;”I don’t know anymore which snacks I can eat.”
She responds, in her always humorous to the point way,..
The cure for kidney stones.On top of that I drank apple cider vinegar and that didn’t go so well with my stomach.
It absolutely went into a strike, in opposition and refused to work anymore.
It threw all barricades up…no more…no no, you won’t do that to me anymore…
my stomach protested!
It was funny, I was telling Mama-P. how I am eating ‘healthy stuff’ lately.
BUT
that I allowed myself to have an unhealthy snack in the afternoon( I was not sick yet… J))
but when I came in the store, I just couldn’t buy that crap.
I guess that a shift in consciousness goes together with an immense love for all what life brings me.
Like my body...
I am taking care of my body so much lately…anyway…
I made the remark,….keep in mind I am laying down on a made bed on the floor, any possible moment having to threw up….
So I say to her;”I don’t know anymore which snacks I can eat.”
She responds, in her always humorous to the point way,..
If you have some imagination and see this:
This is the energy of her accuracy:
See it as a soccer game between two people and I go with the ball and attack her goal…
She…each time again, tackles me and lobs the ball just over me into my goal…
GOAL GOAL GOAL….
She is so accurate, fast and to the point…it is as a sharp sword that cuts all lies instantly, right there…
Her team is allround world champion...
This is the energy of her accuracy:
See it as a soccer game between two people and I go with the ball and attack her goal…
She…each time again, tackles me and lobs the ball just over me into my goal…
GOAL GOAL GOAL….
She is so accurate, fast and to the point…it is as a sharp sword that cuts all lies instantly, right there…
Her team is allround world champion...
So she answers;
“Mmm, I don’t think you have to worry about this right now!”
“Mmm, I don’t think you have to worry about this right now!”
LOL…
I laughed so hard when she said that, I didn’t even feel my
upset stomach and my unease in that moment…J
She is sooo funny!
haha see how mind goes to the future and makes up stories, there was no way I WANTED any food AT ALL!!!!
But there I was talking nonsense about a future event of ‘snacking’, while I could have to run to the toilet any second to vomit all my brains out...
Hilarious, how our mind takes us to places…that takes us away from who we really are.
Who we are, we are right here and now…nothing to do than to just allow and fall into it…
So I painted the lion as helper for my fears.
if I go into the painting and the symbolic meaning of it…
it is the symbol of true authority…
The painting has nothing that has to do with fear. It is just the opposite!
It is not about courage, but just about knowing who I am.
I am the lion and the dancer, and the space where all of this arises.
I am awareness…
And it is as if the lion’s authority stands for the one that SEES…
He is so secure and certain…
He knows he is space, he is awareness and that’s where he SEES from…it is the secure place where NOTHING changes and where everything arises.
It is the place of abundance, because it is nothing and everything in the same space.
It is that awareness we feel inside of us, it is that awareness that looks through our eyes to the world outside. It is that awareness that sees that another is NO OTHER, but ONE SELF…
We are awareness and there we meet…
haha see how mind goes to the future and makes up stories, there was no way I WANTED any food AT ALL!!!!
But there I was talking nonsense about a future event of ‘snacking’, while I could have to run to the toilet any second to vomit all my brains out...
Hilarious, how our mind takes us to places…that takes us away from who we really are.
Who we are, we are right here and now…nothing to do than to just allow and fall into it…
So I painted the lion as helper for my fears.
if I go into the painting and the symbolic meaning of it…
it is the symbol of true authority…
The painting has nothing that has to do with fear. It is just the opposite!
It is not about courage, but just about knowing who I am.
I am the lion and the dancer, and the space where all of this arises.
I am awareness…
And it is as if the lion’s authority stands for the one that SEES…
He is so secure and certain…
He knows he is space, he is awareness and that’s where he SEES from…it is the secure place where NOTHING changes and where everything arises.
It is the place of abundance, because it is nothing and everything in the same space.
It is that awareness we feel inside of us, it is that awareness that looks through our eyes to the world outside. It is that awareness that sees that another is NO OTHER, but ONE SELF…
We are awareness and there we meet…
When I dance on the beach…I still am sometimes shy….and
tonight too…I wanted to dance…
But I was postponing, because I felt shy…that is not me…it is my mind telling me a story to be shy.
If I believe the mind I am falling into a person, into an identity of the shy one…
My ipod had to fall into the Ocean for me to see that I just needed to knock it off and do what I came for…TO DANCE!!!
(Good for kidney stones too…jumping around like a crazy horse….:))
Always when I dance I have a feeling I fall into the IAm. In reality I am in the IAM always and just dance from there. The dancing happens in awareness…
There I see the connection with the IAM from those people on the beach.
There is just connection…and aliveness…I am them and they are me.
But I was postponing, because I felt shy…that is not me…it is my mind telling me a story to be shy.
If I believe the mind I am falling into a person, into an identity of the shy one…
My ipod had to fall into the Ocean for me to see that I just needed to knock it off and do what I came for…TO DANCE!!!
(Good for kidney stones too…jumping around like a crazy horse….:))
Always when I dance I have a feeling I fall into the IAm. In reality I am in the IAM always and just dance from there. The dancing happens in awareness…
There I see the connection with the IAM from those people on the beach.
There is just connection…and aliveness…I am them and they are me.
The only thing that can ever happen is that they have a thought
that I am a crazy lady…
And actually they might not be wrong…haha…but even if they do, it is not my business…
It is all in the realm of the mind and stories! In the awareness there is NO judgment…
Only love, peace and aliveness…
If I go with my mind and think what are people going to think, I just left my own precious life!
So never mind, Rainbow…and just dance.. and I danced…and danced and I turned as the man on the painting into the space that I am…I don’t need to turn into it, I am it…
My body turns into the wind and the water…
My true self is…
and movement of life happens into it…
The space the dancer goes into is his own awareness, his very truth.
It is the perfection of being…
All what happens in life, is what is…and it is all well…
Even kidney stones…although my mind doesn’t always agree…
I have learned to be lived…
This morning I had a very intense happening…
I was sitting and before I would see my body and my mind and know it is not me.
I would be able to see behind all what is and see that that is inside of me too.
And actually they might not be wrong…haha…but even if they do, it is not my business…
It is all in the realm of the mind and stories! In the awareness there is NO judgment…
Only love, peace and aliveness…
If I go with my mind and think what are people going to think, I just left my own precious life!
So never mind, Rainbow…and just dance.. and I danced…and danced and I turned as the man on the painting into the space that I am…I don’t need to turn into it, I am it…
My body turns into the wind and the water…
My true self is…
and movement of life happens into it…
The space the dancer goes into is his own awareness, his very truth.
It is the perfection of being…
All what happens in life, is what is…and it is all well…
Even kidney stones…although my mind doesn’t always agree…
I have learned to be lived…
This morning I had a very intense happening…
I was sitting and before I would see my body and my mind and know it is not me.
I would be able to see behind all what is and see that that is inside of me too.
Simultaneously the space inside is the space outside. My
eyes are just a frail doorway…
It is not even a doorway..it is just nothing, really. A
dream…
Ok I see…
But then this morning deep inside I know I don’t even have to do that effort…of seeing, because I am it!
But then this morning deep inside I know I don’t even have to do that effort…of seeing, because I am it!
There is no journey to make to enlightenment, as some call
it.
We are it!
Anyway I just had a seeing…as I saw many times before…but I could see that I am NOT the person anymore.
I did see that before, but today was different. Something in that moment fell of me…
Nothing that had to do with the person Rainbow, was real…and I kind of start falling…
I just let it happen, it was as if my energy collapsed into myself, into me, inside…
And I felt fear, but I just let me fall and feel the fear of falling…
We are it!
Anyway I just had a seeing…as I saw many times before…but I could see that I am NOT the person anymore.
I did see that before, but today was different. Something in that moment fell of me…
Nothing that had to do with the person Rainbow, was real…and I kind of start falling…
I just let it happen, it was as if my energy collapsed into myself, into me, inside…
And I felt fear, but I just let me fall and feel the fear of falling…
Because what my mind was searching for was a net, something
that would stop the falling, some security, something vast…but there was
nothing of that…I kept on falling and it was as there was no end to that.
I’ll talk with Mamaji about it, that’s how I call my mama-p. lately.
Because right after that I went swimming and encountered the whale…
Very intense all…
I’ll talk with Mamaji about it, that’s how I call my mama-p. lately.
Because right after that I went swimming and encountered the whale…
Very intense all…
But as Mooji would say…who is the one feeling the intensity…that
is being watched…so again that is not me…J
LOL
Oh the painting is for sale and costs $600 in this world of reality…
Prints you can order on my website and is delivered by a company to your precious home…J
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