I let go of the balloon

I

 

 

I feel so happy lately, it is not a happiness because I won the lottery or got something I want…

Well, that is not really true…I guess I finally found what I wanted all my life…
It feels as if I can relax now and don’t need to do anything anymore then only to BE.

I feel and be now who I am…

I also see if I try to be the Iam, I am missing it….it is effortless…unchanging bliss.
It is who I am, nothing to do…than just falling into it with waking up each new moment…

I still see my thoughts coming and going and sometimes I am head by it…but not in a way anymore that my awareness of who I am disappears.

Now I am the watcher…

I realized today that my thoughts just are air moving…illusions appearing…and if I believe the story of my mind, that air kind of becomes a balloon.
In Belgium we have a saying; “Don’t blow things up.”
Or you make from a mouse an elephant. J You get the picture , right?
In fact , hilarious enough I had an experience this morning that gave me that insight.
In fact a pink balloon or pink elephant was swimming with me…well that was what my mind made up.

There is a woman that got the amazing job from the Universe to bother people.
A lot of my friends shy away from her. Including me.

My friend T. said even last Sunday, while turning up all the windows of his car; “I know it’s going to get warm rainbow, but believe me it is worth.” (And believe me Kihei can be hot)
And to give you the picture, we were sitting in his car talking, while overlooking the bay.

We saw the woman getting out of her car and we were kind of falling beneath our seats….hiding out.
J As a war would break out…J

She has this amazing gift to go over people’s boundaries. She is truly a master in that. The other day she swam by me and stopped and looked suddenly on an inch or two in my snorkel. I kind of scoot away….disappearing from planet Earth in a instant…J
This morning again, she played her role very well. And I know I kind of handed her the script, because I have the fear she is going to do it…so Better watch out…I am the director of my play!
It is putting something in the Universe that you don’t want. That is what fear is.

So she was doing it!!!

Ah Rainbow....


Good lord, there she was, I felt chased…followed, it felt as if she was on my skin. No breathe.
I had no space at all, and we kind of bumped into each other all the time.
She is much larger than me and so my mind was kind of describing her as a big pink balloon…
My mind was ‘in a gallop of frustration….’
It was so bad even that I  pushed myself in a defensive position.
I was making my body larger in order to keep my space.
You know, the shoulder move....
Is that not something animals do in the animal kingdom?

Fish make themselves bigger, because they are afraid to get swallowed.

I guess I was doing that… J I was afraid to be swallowed by her…
When she disappeared from the stage ,  I felt relieved but kind of fell bad I protected my space in a very low frequency.

I had an amazing swim after that, but sometimes my mind would still go to that incident in the past…an hour earlier.

That is called stupidity or abuse…I could see it and made a change…
I stopped judging myself and it was as if the dolphins felt it, because there was one dolphin slapping another right in front of me…Get out of my space!
No harm though, they forget after a few minutes…and really dolphins have a good memory, they know who I am...

The I AM I am was watching the  whole thing and l I saw how I was blowing the whole thing to proportions that weren’t necessary.
I felt guilty, and that is a low energy.

I tried to change my choice of thoughts and saw that it is ok to get angry sometimes, and to express it.
Anger is something that passes just like thoughts. It comes and goes. And when I saw that, something shifted.
I am not the anger, I remain as the IAM.…
I relaxed and dropped even deeper in the IAM.

That is when I saw that sometimes we blow our thoughts up to balloons…
When I got that insight I started smiling…a balloon can be ‘poefed’ with one needle…

So I just put the needle of my awareness on the illusionary balloon and take my power back….

No need to be hiding anymore in the car, or ducking down behind a rock….

I AM SPACE!!!! No need to get it from another, everything is an inside job.
You feel another takes your space, it is because you are not in your inner space…it is that simple.
The change happens inside of us…J

I am the one living my inner SPACE…if I keep the authority in the IAM…and I am not giving my authority away to my mind that blows up like a balloon….then anything can come to me…

there are no enemies where I live in the IAM. Everything is for me….there are also no friends in the IAM…we are all awareness....SPACE...

When I relaxed in the IAM, I got connected with the IAM of the woman and I could see clearly, that it was all NOTHING.
And only coming and going….

When she stays it is because I let her stay in my mind…because I hold on to the balloon…I can just prick the balloon or even just let it go and let it FLY!!!!!

It is so delicious to be living in the IAM….
Effortless…

We are all in there, together….

All Love Rainbow