I mostly am topless, like most Europeans are on every beach in Europe. No big deal there.
Anyway I search for a good spot and found one at the far left side. There were so much people there was not a lot of free spots anymore. The atmosphere was nice and joyful. I sat next to a beautiful young man that was meditating. He had a certain charisma. Later I would understand he wanted to copy Jesus a little bit. He really looked like him. The young man was sitting in a lotus position straight in front of a little self made shop he made. He had put very carefully stones and rings on a little table made from sand.
You could smell the incense soaring in the sky.
Suddenly young girls were surrounding him and they were all beautiful too. It was as if he had a whole harem. That was the feeling I got.
It was all peaceful and nice. But suddenly my own thoughts took a dive into the dark depths of a world that only existed in my mind.
“You are not good enough
Not beautiful enough,
Not thin enough
You don’t fit in,…”
Run away,
You never fit in anywhere,
You are a loner,
a hermit, leave,
You don’t fit in.
You are nothing,…
It went on and on for an hour I think. Total self abuse, self hate, all what you can think off to name it.
Suddenly an old thin naked man stands in front of me. He had long grey hair and a beard. And when he spoke I could see he had only a few teeth left.
He said;”Isn’t this a wonderful day? It are only your thoughts that can screw this day for you!”
I was perplex…here …this complete stranger told me exactly what I knew. I almost lost the fight and left, but this man kept me there.
I tried to change my thoughts more. Did some Byron Katie work, to break the illusions and to be with what is.
But that man was a gift!
The more I was questioning my thoughts the happier I became. I started feeling better and better. And then suddenly he was there again.
“Can I sit next to you for a few minutes?”
I said;”Sure.”
he stayed for about 2 hours. He told me his amazing life story. And if it is true or not, I didn’t care I was just listening and painting. He loved it and just continued talking. I asked him questions sometimes and we felt bounded.
His life was one of a nomad that has 6 wives and 5 children, or was it the other way around? It didn’t matter to me. He followed Osho for a while and many other teachers around the globe. And he gave me this wisdom: You don’t need anything to be happy. He said he had a mansion and was a university professor. But now he wanted to be free. He said there were two kind of people nomads and mad-ones.
the nomads are free and the mad-ones try to pay their mortgage, their car,…
You want to find your Self he asked?
Yes.
Look in the mirror and there you are.
Many many more stories that I might tell another time.
But before he left he said; “thank you for saving my day.”
I said; “I thought you saved my day. Thank you for your wisdom.”
And he replied;”Thank you for your smile and your humbleness. I knew I had to sit here.”
This old wise man,…I will never forget him.
He said it to me;”maybe we will see each other never again.”
Thank you M. for changing my life and to be my angel for the day!
Here for M. this painting of little beach! Visit my website wwww.rainbowsheart.com
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