Let's splash in freedom!

BREAK FREE!

It is incredible fascinating how life lives!

We don’t have to do anything…we just are blessed with life…so easy!
Sometimes I might repeat myself J…I am still on a yoyo swing in knowing what I know, and letting go and FALL and trust that the ‘Iam’ within myself will catch me.
I said before that ‘thoughts’ can strangle us. They can keep us in prison for a life time, or life times after life times. But you can use that same MIND to set you free.

This morning when I was swimming I was looking for my little turtle friend and although she wasn’t there, she was there in spirit. She is in my heart and she is always with me. But interesting to see was when I came to the spot that I THOUGHT she might be, my love for her was enormous! I brought her into my present moment. It was as if the coral lighted up, it was just magic. My little Pinky was swimming with me, in my heart…but also as memory in my mind. It was as if she was there with me.

That is how we can use the mind. There is only one moment ‘NOW’, and going to the past or future takes you away from the “IAM” state. It shuts all the doors, and possibilities of the Now moment. It is in the NOW moment that we feel and we can communicate with GOD. This is where the empowerment is.

I choose to bring a memory in the present moment and I loved it!

How long do we live our lives already in fear? Mostly that fear comes from beliefs from the past…from things that are taught us…here and now you can decide what you want to think… or believe.
You can choose to bring beautiful memories in your heart, and so bring back that energy and bring more of that into your life…

Sometimes we have to be a JEDI fighter and be consequent in choosing not to believe our thoughts and so see the dark cloudy THOUGHTS pass our blue sky, instead of hanging around…
Instead we can choose to let the pinky clouds stay a little while; enjoying the beauty of what was.
Real liberation comes when you can fall into the knowledge that there is no past, now or future…everything is already all there…you just have to allow yourself to fall in Gods arms within your SELF.
The life purpose you have is to BE you and to have joy. Now.

That’s it.
FAITH.

The time that is in the deep core feeling of FAITH is SPACE.
So NOW= SPACE

Past, Now and Future come together in one point.

SPACE= IAM


So how can thoughts make you miserable or joyous?

I have two examples…

It is a while now that I arm-wrestle myself for getting cranky about tourists. I even call them terrorists.
But it is to those people I want to sell my art too, so there is a miscommunication going on here that I am putting into the Universe…J
At the same moment I push them away, I also want to embrace them; because I want to be open to people… I want to be aloha...what was wrong with me?
How can I just embrace them without any JUDGMENT…

One day I decided to have all good intentions, and I felt…from now I am going to be friendly and open.

I saw that I wasn’t the only one that had that problem. All my friends have that kind of problem.
In the beginning I thought that tourists were rude and I got a feeling sometimes they thought they owned me. There was no way for me to be free and come out of the water without being grabbed and asked questions. Maybe I should see that as an honor and not as a feeling of not having any space.
I felt cornered at times.
But that was for me not the worst part. I had trouble with the way they were asking.
That cleared up after my friends explained that Americans are very straight forward… they don’t ask you if they can ask you something, or if they  CAN disturb you…no they just …BANG … ask, in a way that you have to swallow… so direct…sometimes rude in my perception…
Now I understand it is just a difference in culture. Europeans are more timid, maybe Belgians are…
I don’t know about the Dutch J (HAHa we always make jokes about each other)
Anyway that kind of relieved me in a way. I could understand that they are just the way they are.
Still with the work I do with MamaP and Byron Katie, if something triggers you, there is something that needs inquiry…so I did…

I knew that doing some more inquiry within myself would liberate me and so the change the situation.
Where am I ignorant to them and to myself? Where was I rude?

Well I was ignorant towards them because I didn’t put myself in their shoes yet…
Hmmm I don’t see where I am ignorant towards myself…
Hah ok I’ll investigate some more…mmmm… J
Digging…J

I found the core of my problem..it had all to do with space...with feeling unsafe and having my space in the world. It had to do with feeling unworthy and all that kind of stuff… I went deep and had many revelations that liberated me from stuck belief systems. I am open to see more…J BUT…

The next day an opening happened! A man was parked next to my car and he was a local. We talked story and it was very mellow and nice. He got in his car and backs up, but there appeaeds a tourist just behind its car.
I shouted;”watch out!”
And he nodded his head and said;” They are so distracted from the beauty here!”

This was it…that was so much nicer, so peaceful to have that thought…
They are not ignorant; no… they are admiring the beauty of where we live.
It’s all a matter of perception….
I feel so much more relaxed… looking through different glasses…
And more…I have put myself in their shoes and remembered how it was for me to see my first turtle and dolphin.
How it was for me to travel to France, Switzerland, turkey...the US.
I wasn’t ignorant at all…I was admiring, taking in the area. I remembered I didn’t have eyes enough to see everything and that must be the same way for all those people that come here.
I am sorry I didn’t realize that before. Now I can see them better. J

And then the second example is one of sprinklers.
I don’t know why, but I don’t like when sprinklers go off. If the sprinklers go off at my house, I don’t get out without being wet because my doorway is in the garden. And it kinds of locks me up and I get nervous when I am not free. That’s one reason… the other reason is that I don’t like that my flip flops are wet…and I know it is so ridiculous. So insane to let your peace glides away for sprinklers and a little bit of water in your shoes….
If something stupid like that triggers you, there must be something underneath it…
It can be a thought from a far past that is still triggering to get released…

I did the work of MamaP and Byron Katie on these sprinkles and I can tell you I came to deep and far in the past conclusions…it is amazing how something so little can bring up so much shit, still sitting there.
This inquiry unravels a lot of my old beliefs…

Now I did the work and liberated myself;  I have something like ‘WA EVE’ (what ever) …when sprinklers go off…I know better now , if they still set something of in me … I investigate…
The more I clean up my stuff the more I see I get detached from my sprinkler-problem…J
I even start appreciating them…
They make Kihei green and the birds love it. The neighbors’ dog stands in it!
And enjoys it tremendously...and me?

From not wanting to have any wet feet, I moved to… RUNNING in it EVERY DAY!

On top of that I choose to bring a memory back when I was 7 and I played with my brother in the hose when it was hot one summer. We had the ’Games without borders’ on TV during that time. It was an amusement program where all the European countries compete against each other with some cool endurance games. Often they needed to run through sprinkles and stuff like that… we loved it!
And we copied the games and made our own games in the garden.
We made a whole track of challenges to pass and we would imagine we were the Belgian yellow team defeating everyone JJJ…

The most fun part was when we had to cross through water hoses!

So every day, my brother is running with me in Wailea through the sprinklers.
I miss him less when I do that. We don’t talk so often and when I email him it takes a life time to get an email back…I guess he is busy  J.
I believe my brother’s heart feels it when he runs with me through the sprinklers…

Joy doesn’t even have to travel…Joy is TIMELESS…A moment of JOY is eternal and space-Less…
From now on we make from things that bothered us (after inquiry) joyful stuff!
I write after inquiry, because we don’t want to ignore or deny things that trigger us. Positive thinking without looking to the root is putting ‘sugar over shit’; taught me mama P.
Clean out that shit and then… automatically laughter comes…

Let us all run through the sprinklers and feel the water on our skin!
If it is to cold where you are…pretend in your shower…start singing and express your JOY of water on your beautiful skin!

Water is very symbolic….it is cleansing, nurturing…supporting…loving…
Sing, jump and take somebody in your minds, in your hearts… or in person and celebrate your freedom!


Let the water splashes as a fountain and let’s celebrate life and DO our real job:

BEING JOYOUS!

Love Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

Let us all be HEART-followers!

Sometimes I get carried away by the most amazing things that happen with me in the Ocean.
 Since I live here in Hawaii I had amazing encounters with dolphins and turtles. Once I bumped into whales…
Those encounters are holy…
It happens to all of us, when we are in Nature we get blown away by grace.
A good thing is to be quiet and to be with it.
Told you already yesterday…I mean it. That’s what I hear…be quiet.
Be centered within your Self.

If NATURE gives you a gift it is MAGIC…in the silence you keep the adventure in your heart.
You keep the gratitude high.
Sometimes it is good to not blast out what God gives you….
The silence is the intimate relationship between you and your God’s self.
That is so precious…it is the most important relationship you will ever have.
It is in honoring this connection that you feel unconditional love, that you meet your true Self.
I am more connected with that part when I am alone in nature or when I paint. I sometimes loose it a little when I have to deal with others.
The trick is to stay centered and to be with others.

I am working on that…and that might be a life time job …J

Animals and nature are unconditional…they are not so driven by the mind…at least that is what I experience.

They allow God more to stream through them…

We block it often with our thoughts.

When I write about God, it is never something separate outside of you, it is within us.
You are part of God, the whole universe and without you the Universe would not be whole.

There are people in my life where I don’t lose my center too, like Mama P.
Contrarily, she pushes me in my center… J
There are others that can trigger me right away. What I do then is looking what gets triggered and solve it within myself by looking which limiting belief systems are giving me trouble. Less and less I get triggered…J yeah!

Painting brings me in my center…it brings me in direct contact with my Magnificence, my “iam” state.
Well if I write…my “Iam’ state it is already not true. It is not mine.
‘I am’ is just I…not the body, not the mind…it is just the little piece of God, the Universe.
Iam.
You get the point…no possession.

Also when I write I come into my center.
And now I feel to combine those two in my art, I think that would be very cool.

I wrote in my paintings in Belgium…I wrote poems in it, but to write English poems you have to be good.
A piece in me says, ‘Wa eve’ just do it. I will never be able to write in English as in Dutch, but maybe it is an advantage. People will give me more breaks here, when I make mistakes. In Belgium it has to be correct. They are very meticulous, very severe with the correct use of the Dutch language.

Words can be so powerful and so life changing that combined with the images and especially the colors of my art, I feel it must be great!

I started with the Horse painting..I wrote ‘I am’ ‘free’ and ‘space’…

In my last dolphin one I wrote on the sides of the painting:

Naia (dolphin) is pure Joy, you feel love in your heart, open your heart for your own being,
Love love love, Tamara Tavernier

   

soory don't own an iron...hmmm oh well :)

and in the painting I wrote
Naia is eternal joy NOW, LOVE LOVE LOVE (see painting above)

The feeling to do this is so strong, passionate and heartfelt…I have to follow my heart.

I WANT to follow my heart…to many times in my life… I didn’t… no time anymore to waste…

LET US ALL BE HEART-FOLLOWERS!

Let’s all start today!
And let us not be hard on ourselves, when we miss sometimes…we just realign and follow our hearts again and again!

From now on we only do HEART anymore, not hard… J

Yeah!
Softy me,

Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

BE QUIET

Keep quiet.

Sometimes that is the best thing you can do.

Be quiet.

I had an amazing experience. It was as a divine’s present (GODSGESCHENK in Dutch). But sometimes we just need to BE quiet and keep it in our own hearts, so grace can do its work. Maybe later I can talk about it and maybe not.
Just BE quiet now.

That’s what I hear.

I go in and out, as so many of us from trust to fear…from Love to not-love.
More and more I see it are illusionary thoughts that bring me into that fear. It is like dark clouds in my blue sky. When I believe the thoughts the clouds starts hanging thinker and thicker and it feels like a scene of the “Lord of the Rings.”

Me, as ‘Iam’ I am Gandalf, my higher consciousness working together with the child Frodo.
Frodo is as the magical child that isn’t free of THE RING yet.

The ring is the doom thoughts that make our blue sky dark and heavy.
It is the dark night of the Soul; THE dark MIND of the Soul…
Sauron is my fearful mind… The one that is illusion…that lies in the future or comes from the past, but never can live in the present moment.

It is the dark mind that rules when we are seduced by the ring…as Frodo in the movie when he puts on the ring and disappears and gets bewitched by the dark side…

It is as if I understood today that each one of us, has all these characters inside of us. Each one of us chooses a certain lesson, a certain spell that would haunt us during our life on earth until we throw the ring into the fire.

Gandalf (the teacher) that stands for higher consciousness teaches the child how to withstand the seductive MIND.
On our path we get helped by fellow soulmates to help us destroy the ring…

This all happens inside of us…we are the UNIVERSE, GOD.
What happens inside can appear outside….

I was haunted today by thoughts of fear and I encountered people, strangers on my path that would say sentences that made me more and more aware…of the danger of the MIND.
When I was running somebody announced when he was passing me from the opposite side;
“You have to choose a side!” (J I knew immediately what was going on)

It was clearly to me that my mind was terrorizing me. The usual stuff.
More and more I can go inwards to my ‘Iam’ state and see that it is my mind operating. I can see it on a distance and then it looks so innocent. It looks innocent because I don’t attach a belief to it and see through it. I PUT THE RING INTO THE FIRE.

But when I start believing it and get scared…what happened two hours ago…
I let myself be lived by the dark side, the fearful mind.
I have a choice…do I put on the ring or not!
If you saw the movie, you know how creepy the force of the ring is…
But the light power is always stronger!
Point is to not let you DIVIDE your true SELF from your DIVINE core…

It is not possible!

It is only the mind that tries you BELIEVE that there is separation.
It is not possible…You are one…and that is where Gandalf stands for with his, magical staff, and white horse.

So I was kind of worried… and in the seduction of my mind…
and so I attracted a man tonight that lives in my street and said when he saw me;
“You are far away from home.”
I knew immediately that that message was a deep thing and that I had to come back to my CENTER and see the mind for what it was…an illusion…

Seeing through the mind =  throwing the ring into the fire…

I long so much for having my mind to be quiet for ALWAYS…but this desire might be another ring again…
I come to see that mind will always be there and if you just let it be, and not fight…it just becomes a friend.
It can give you hints of what is wrong, or I can use it to create something….

Am still learning…
and…ok
I hear again
BE QUIET…
Listen…

God , I tried it on my own…
I tried to control it all…
But I see I need you to steer my ship…
I am quiet…
I am who I am…
and listen…
It is not in my hands…
It never was…
although I THOUGHT so…
time to surrender…
to the light in me.
To my magnificence,
to you God.

Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

Wa EVe...

I just ate a chocolate croissant, like I was used to in Belgium when I was little. My friend M. surprises me, FORTUNATELY ( I love that word, lot of FORTUNE in it!) frequently with that amazing surprise.
I am off sugar, but I make an exception for ‘my’ croissant. In Belgium called a chocolate cookie, chocoladekoek.
Ye, she kind of teases me to give it to the hungry birds and mice in the bay. But I make sure they are fat and fulfilled with my never ending peanuts that I share with them. It is my survival food. It takes so fast the hunger away. I always have it with me, my survival kit.
When she hands me the treasure I even hide it for her, you never know who she will feed with it! J
haha..
I wait for about 3 hours to eat it. Even when I come out of the water and I am super hungry, I can keep it for when I have my coffee with it.
My mind goes to the little white bag and the crispy chocoladekoek…but lucky me, I deliberately put it in the back of my car, so I can’t reach it when I am driving. J I know myself to good already…J
And the good news is I start liking myself. It is good to be with me…J

Today was a heavenly day in the water, as usual. You always get surprised. Anything can show up!
A few days ago it were 3 sharks, today I was distracted by a boat entering the reserve.
Thinking about Wai’ha, my beloved turtle (see other blog from a few months ago) that I tried to save after he was hit by a boat…I started screaming and yelling towards the boat. No response.
I was far at the point snorkeling with my friend B., the water was so beautiful turquoise, the sunrays going into the Ocean and lightening up all the coral and amazingly water-life.

I announced:”We should swim towards the boat.”

But looking at it, it was far and we just came from that side…so far.
No reaction from B. She is my savior buddy, she is over 70 and man she swims fast and long!!!

B. was not moving and so I heard myself saying;

“I should swim to the boat.”

I started following it, having Wai’ha in my memories and my new friend Pinky, whom I didn’t write about yet. (my beloved Pinky is a baby turtle)
And I was thinking about all the other turtles not used to a boat above their head…
They were heading turtle town and I know turtles are hanging at the surface there. So I started to push my body some more…
After a while I stopped and yelled again… “You are in the reserve, no boats allowed!”

Oef, finally the captain or whatever he was saw me and yelled something back that obviously meant;
“I don’t understand you and therefore I will just continue and who are you to tell me anything.”
Something like that…

Ok push some more, splash splash and

Waaaw

Two huge eagle rays pass me in the most gracious formation.(A really huge one and a smaller one). What a gift!
The symbolic meaning of a ray is GRACEFUL strength.
Instinctly I followed them…but then my heart shouted; “Pinky.”
Woops, I made a 45 degree turn and headed to the boat again…
Kind of talking inside myself…(mormelen= Dutch for talking inside my mouth and not being happy because I had to let go of the Eagle rays. We don’t have that word in English)

Finally I was 2 meters from them and I saw them making themselves ready to go in the water and I repeated;
“You are in a reserve and boats are not allowed.”
I think it were 2 unaware tourists renting a boat...anyway the man kind of protested somehow with saying; “I am just going to anchor here and snorkel.”
And I just repeated;
“You are in a reserve and boats are not allowed.”

That did it. Mean time my friend B. arrived too…so more women POWER!

“Oh well”, he said and started moving out of the reserve.
I memorized the number of the boat. My friend the ranger always told me; “It doesn’t do anything with just telling them, you have to have the number of the boat.”

We waited a little and kept an eye on the boat; if it really disappeared and we swam back to the point to continue our journey…It gave a good feeling to be able to care for all the animals in the reserve.
“I will take care of you, Pinky!”; I thought by myself.

I felt like a BIG MAMA…that’s how it feels to be a mama…I probably have all moms on my neck now…haha J When I am out of the water, I am off the hook…J

I was looking at the fish and the turtles and my ego was telling them;
“I took care of you guys, don’t worry!”
 They were looking up to me with a face of; “Wa Ever.”
Looking with those stupid big eyes…what’s the big deal here? Who cares?
I think that the whole scene was just to let my ego feel good, as being the rescuer...the knight on the horse…tudu…. J Haha

Hungry afterwards I waited until I came home to eat my chocolate croissant, chocolade koek and it threw me back in time when I was 7 or 8 and we were with the whole family upstairs in Oostende.
In the weekends we would travel to my parents’ country house, but sometimes we stayed in Oostende and then it was feast! My grandparents lived in Brussels and every weekend they would come to Oostende. We lived in a typical house in town, which was 5 floors high. You know those old European houses. The street was named after Princes Clementine because she had lived there before. So that kind of old.

Home where we were living, you see first floor where my dad is standing,
having a exposition of his work and doing funny...

My grandparents lived on the 4^th floor and I remember that I LOVED it when they were there.
They would spoil us with great food, such as CHOCOLATE CROISSANTS, Belgian waffles,... you can’t imagine…
I loved to be there and eat. My grandma would treat us all the time. They would take us out for lunch; they would take us to the beach…always without my parents, which I didn’t mind!

J
My grandpa would take us to the go cars in ‘Little forest’ where we had a whole circuit we could ride.
Yes, today my grandparents were visiting me here in Hawaii. I miss those times, where it was so secure to have that kind of abundance.

A few months ago I would still remember the difficult times and now I look so different to life, so WITHOUT many JUDGMENT!
I see the good times and see through the bad times and see that it is all just a dream anyway.
“WA EVE!”
 My grandma played in my earlier life the fairy godmother who gave me all, and at the end of her life she was bitter in losing her daughter and she became my ‘prosecutor or the wicked witch’.

But today I only felt love for both of them and the awareness that they did what they did because they believed their thoughts. It had nothing to do with their hearts, because those hearts are still there for me. And my heart is wide open to receive them with open wings.
Forgiveness is there effortless when you see that a lot of actions in life were actions coming from believing the MIND. Once you see that you come in the heart and in the truth of life.

There is only love and NOTHING is wrong.
It doesn’t matter what happened in the past…nothing matters…

If you just can open your heart for REALITY…and that is that we are all connected and LOVE.

WA EVE…happened is what needed always or it wouldn’t…

I eat my chocolate croissant and speak to my grandparents; “Meme and parrain, thank you so much for overflowing me so much with abundance and love. Thank you so much; that I have felt what it means to be truly who I Am…abundance….It wasn’t about the things you gave me…but about the heart…
thank you for the feeling of SAFETY you gave me. I know now, that I can give that to me and I will use your memory to awake that part that in me. I will open my arms to receive again, like I was fearless to open my arms to receive from you…that kind of safety is priceless! I love you and forgive me.”

Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

Paint the truth (3)

Paint the truth (3)

As I said in my blog “An eternal moment in Iao Valley” in all ‘bad’ situations there is a gift.
And when you see that gift, you are not watching anymore from a point of view from the victim.
But You look from above in awareness.

In the cult they broke me in many ways, but they also gave me the gift of illustrating and publishing books.

So here I am going from one library to the other with my van, my two dogs and a lot of required courage. It is a big deal to go every time again and again over that threshold to present your own book.
A no sounds always harder than it would sound if the book is written and illustrated by a stranger.

But so now after a few months of doing that a library had asked me to be their honored illustrator and writer and give a workshop in their library.

It was a Monday morning and I was scared as hell. Nervous. I am very shy and I don’t really like to stand in front of a group.
Why did I say yes? Yes why? Am I out of my freaking mind?
I was probably when I said…YES!

The library had called me 3 times and 2 times I had said no and I heard myself saying yes a third time.
You know, we think that we have control over our lives. But that is a big illusion. God/ The Universe has certainly a say in many things and sometimes we get pushed in something we would not do, but do it anyway…why, we don’t have a clue. It is afterwards that we think…haa we got set up by God.
No doubt about that.

Anyway I was making myself ready in the big new fancy room of the library. This was a new building and waaw it was beautiful and modern.
 Suddenly the youth librarian walked in and greeted me.
“By the way”; she said;” Did Viviane mention that a film crew is taping this?”
“A film crew?” I replied hesitant.
Viviane was the head librarian.
“Euh, no”; I said, “She forgot that little detail.”
Oh my God, what the hell am I going to do? A film crew???
I got really nervous now…sweating…more and more… L
4 Guys started walking in the room, installing microphones, screens and all that stuff they need to do what they needed to do… I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had hoped that only the children (they don’t know what I am doing) and one teacher was going to be there. Now I ended up with a film crew.

I wasn’t happy, I can tell you that.
But what was really true… I was afraid…not like I feel when a shark is in front of me…but the fear for eyes watching me… to fear to fail…to not know what to say and many eyes waiting to what I am going to say next…
Many eyes…many judgments…

The class arrived, about 25 children and two teachers.
The two librarians decided to watch too because it was my first time there J
and then I had the 4 crew members of the movie-thing walking around with microphones and a camera.

Oh well, I guess I had to be thrown for the lions…here I was… thank you GOD!

I started to introduce myself as an artist and showed them a few paintings and that broke the ice a bit.

Then I showed them my book and told the story. I didn’t read it, but played it...
I was a little nervous until the microphone found its way on my head and all the children start laughing…J haha that really broke the ice…J now it was melting and I relaxed more and more.

Haa, I loved that microphone, the tension was broken...then I just starting flowing and it buzzed and it was great. The children loved it!

We meditated and painted in the second half and it was just amazing. I was flying and got more and more confidence. And suddenly it was over and my lip sank deep…now already? I was enjoying myself; the children were hanging on my lips. It was easy and I loved it!

At the very end one of the teachers came up to me and said;” This is so cool what you did. We never saw a workshop like this. It is very different. “This child”; she said, and she pointed her to me; “didn’t talk to me for about 6 months and today she talked to you. What did you do?”

I didn’t have a clue…J how would I know…It’s Gods fault… (I was thinking)

The next days I would give more workshops in the same library for different schools and it was all so amazing!
This library told other libraries and hup… I started being booked… mouth to mouth advertisement.
Easy…

 

 

And then two of my friends heard about this new adventure of mine and asked if I would want to give an ADULT workshop in their house. They would invite 8 other people…
First I was pushing it away with both hands...but you know the Universe right.
I guess that request came through my friends’ mouth, but was a request from God him/her self.
I know, it is strong, you ever had that?

That you are pulled into something that would never be your choice?
You go somewhere that would never come up in your mind, but you end up there?
I know life is sometimes bizarre…sometimes I really think we are being lived…
Once I am in that space, I can relax more because I know everything will be alright.
Something like: if I want to make my life happen, I make a mess of it.
But if I SURRENDER, God takes care of me.
Really?
Look around you how everything works without us having to do anything.

We breath, we see, we talk, we touch, we feel…we are…we are spirit in a body.

We are God in a body.

It is sometimes really hard to surrender and let go and let GOD…
But go to the spot when it is time to die. Isn’t that going to be a true surrender?
Often I feel that is what we need to do right here and now when we are alive.
So many people, including myself are afraid of not having money enough.
Our whole society is built on a safety that is false.
The true security lies in the SURRENDER to god within.
It requires a lot of courage… but we shall have to do it anyway…when it is time to die we will have to surrender everything we gathered to keep us safe. All our physical stuff, all our mind stuff…
I am practicing true surrender lately. And I must say I am not at the end of the tunnel yet. It feels dark and scary and very UNSAFE.
But I did it already a few times in my life and I am sure many of you…you take that jump into the unknown and you don’t KNOW NOTHING.
Nothing at all. You don’t know sometimes why you do or are pushed to do something, but you know it is required from somewhere deep inside you.
And you know;” I don’t know NOTHING.”
I just surrender, because what else is there to do?
As if there is no escape anymore.
That is how it feels.

The other side of safety and going back to the old limited life, would be so painful..that the only thing left is to JUMP.

I hope God catches me… and leads me… and helps me and over and over I saw it happening in front of my eyes. Help is always there…still I am scared with times…

FAITH is the aNSWER.

Faith.

TO BE CONTINUED

Tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

Do you see the miracle?

What a gift of life this is.

We are so blessed to live and we don’t always know it. We breathe in and out and it just is…so normal.
My dear friend Ms. had sent me a doc about crop circles and I was excited to see the new revelations around it. But I didn’t see any new things. She was excited that people could proof it is not men made.

And maybe it is because I grew up in Europe where the most of the crop circles appeared.

I guess I wasn’t thrilled about the new information. I thought, always that it were beings from another dimension or God him/her Self… Look around you...look to this Earth, this magnificent planet, to life...
to the beauty of all what is!

It is as if the crop circles have to wake us up; but looking into the eyes of your friend, touching the water of the Ocean, feeling the air on your skin,..isn’t it astonishing how this life works?
How our bodies function without us having to do any effort?
How we walk and talk?
How we are?

Look around you in Nature, there you see only abundance…and true freedom.
Nature is an amazing creation of uniqueness and abundance. It is a wonder. You can’t control it!
We try though…but that is only an illusion. It is an illusion of our mind/body that lives in fear and lack.
Our true self is as NATURE…abundant and free!

I am blessed I can swim in the ocean and see the most amazing creations of God. Every day there is another animal, that is weird and beautiful and oh so a WONDER.

Just as the crop circles are….
It is as if God wants to send us messages that the Universe is a wonder....
I see the crop circles as a wakeup call to show that we are not RULING this Universe….God sends us a mystery…because we became deaf and blind for the wonder of life.
It is as if we take each breath for granted…
Each one of us is so magnificent as a crop circle is made.
Each creation in this whole Universe is of so much precise, is so delicate, and a true mysterious wonder!
It are creations of LOVE.

That there are other dimensions and other beings,…oh yes I believe that for sure. It is all here and now. It is not something linear, that we think that those beings are somewhere out there far away in the Universe. No, they are right here. The Universe has no space, nor time. And has all space and time.
It all happens simultaneously here and NOW.

Let’s say that our Soul is a circle and is within us. That same circle is also around us…and so we are much larger and expanded then our MINDS can THINK.

We are the UNIVERSE/God.

JUDGMENT

I was feeling around this judgment-thing and found that judgment shrinks our lives.
We have judgment about some things and right there we place a limitation on it. But I can go even further…naming things is judging it.
Name a tree a tree and you limit it to being a tree. A tree is much larger then it is. It is the universe!

The same with ourselves, when we say ‘I am the body’ we limit ourselves. If we say ‘IAM’, we become that enlarged circle with everything in it.

That is what the crop circles are about, I feel.

Drop your judgment. Stop to try to figure things out and just be open to miracles.
And not those miracles we all envision of our religious past where extraordinary things has to happen, to feel good. And those extraordinary things are named and are judged…if you can follow me….

Something like standing up out of the death, or being healed miraculously, or receiving a big amount of money, or or….
No I mean, it can be just SEEING the miracle of life in its simplicity…not wanting something extraordinary in order to be happy.
Being happy being ALIVE and seeing life and God in all what you see and touch.
When you see those miracles, you open the door to expansion and abundance.

You come in a peaceful state of ENOUGH, and GRATITUDE.

To talk about judgment.
Somebody had judged me very severely months ago.

She said I was swimming aggressively…that is not true, I know I do have fire energy and I make bubbles. But I am never aggressive. Dolphins, turtles, whales they come up to me…they don’t have any judgment of how many bubbles I make or I don’t. I can even say of myself that I am pretty loving and peaceful.
I saw a few months ago, that I attracted that harsh judgment because I was still judging myself so much.
I worked on that piece within myself and so started loving myself more and more.
Even when I had days that I wasn’t ‘the loving self’ towards myself, but more ‘the fearful self’ I could see it was ok and I had compassion for that piece in me.

Today…and THIS MAKES me very happy…this same woman came up to me and apologized for telling me such things. She said it wasn’t true that what she had said. And that felt so good. J It also shows me I am judging myself less and less!

I see so much now…(mama-P-Yoda is teaching me not to judge me)…how self judgment can be so destructive. It is amazing how we can bring others and ourselves down with it.

Another story about judgment:

My good friend J. had a stroke yesterday and lost almost all his eyesight.
I was in shock. He is so young and I was just in shock…I was thinking, how can I help him. I placed myself in his shoes, how would it be to have a stroke and to not see.
When I went in the Ocean I realized how much we have to enjoy life in every moment. It can be over in a second. Why worry about money, about the future and the past…if we have life.

I had once a teacher and taught his whole life math. He looked forward to retire to finally enjoy his life! The day he retired he died.
It is now we have to live life in JOY! Not tomorrow. It doesn’t matter what you have or what you don’t have. Look to the miracle of life, look to the perfection of flowers, of life itself…
God/Life doesn’t need to wake us up by sending us crop circles (although I love that mystery!!!) to see the magic all around us. And I love crop circles...let them come, they are a magnificent piece of ART!

Yes J.’s stroke shaked me a little much…

And today I got shocked from another friend how said this;”J. wasn’t happy with his life, so…”

Kind of…it is his own fault. If I understood the energy right, it was as if she didn’t have any compassion for his situation because he did it to himself, because he was not happy enough.
I couldn’t believe my ears…I am not a person that dares to say a lot…but this time I said that I didn’t have that experience and that that was not of our business.

But I know the spiritual community can be harsh sometimes in their judgments…

It hurt me inside to hear a judgment like that, while our friend lost his eye sight.
I don’t care why he lost it, if it had a reason or not. The point is that right here right now, he is in need. The only thing he asks us are prayers…He doesn’t need any judgment.
And now I am probably judging the judgment…JJ haha

That is how I experienced today how judgment can bring the energy down…can bring life down…

If you bring yourself in the state of IAM, you are in the state of creating crop circles…when you are there; there is NO JUDGMENT…only LOVE.
There I am not separated from my friend who had a stroke, also I am not separated from the friend that judges…and what can I do?
Just hold them in love and see that I can only stay in the place of NO judgment to keep the energy of the level of ‘IAM’.

Judge and we bring ourselves on the level of MIND/body, that is the place where fear can appear.

So what I am saying is... if you want to help yourself or another, and you want to SEE the miracle….move into who you really are…
and YOU WILL SEE you ARE a miracle… J

Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

The dancer on little beach

Molokini seen from Little beach, one of my paintings

Yesterday I was drawn to little beach. It was late already though, but something was pulling me and it was as a voice whispered; “You must go!”

I resisted a little at first. It was already 530 and instead I drove to Ulua beach, walked down with mask and fins in my hand. I spit in my mask, and was almost walking in the water when I felt…”Nono this is not what you want, feel what you really want! Listen to your heart!”

Right on, I turned 90 degrees and walked back up and drove direction little beach.
Immediately I felt the relief.
What a relief to feel I was following my heart. Sometimes we don’t do that. Because or mind makes up 10000 reasons why not too…I know by now to not follow the mind, it will put you in a knot.

5 Minutes later I see a man walking along the side walk, holding his hand up. I recognize him as “The dancer”.
I saw him a lot dancing on the Kam beaches and lately I saw him on Sunday at little beach when we have the drum circle.
On Sundays we have a little Woodstock at Maui’s little beach. Little beach is the nude beach. It is just so much fun.
I thought…really…listen to this:
I thought that the USA was like little beach. When I came here for the first time I thought that everything was pEACE, lOVE and fREEDOM.
I was very disappointed to see that that was a big illusion.

Really I thought that the whole US was a big Woodstock.
Can you imagine how I felt when I arrived for the first time at Little beach! I thought I finally came in the US.
Aaah I thought; “this is it!”

I just love the atmosphere. It is an illusion of course; there is no freedom in that…
Freedom is in who we really are; “IAM!”

G. was so happy I waited for him. He had his usual stick with him. You have to see him dance, it is just magnificent. We don’t know each other. He might have seen me painting on little beach and watching him dance. But we never spoke a word.
It was weird but I enjoyed when he said; “I am so happy it is you who stopped. I never hitchhike, I am afraid to do that. But am so happy it is you!” J
G. is Filipino…he told me…he is a very beautiful man and walks as a dancer. He wears his own jewelry and his nails are colored. I didn’t ask him, but I think he is gay. He speaks gay. And he is sweet and soft, so I bet he is. He is not so tall and slim and has beautiful tribal tattoos.
He is this very beautiful man and has a very special Soul. Turns out that he didn’t really wanted to talk today, because he was sad. His mom just passed away…but here he was in my car talking and talking and I just listened. J

Maybe that was the only reason that I needed to go to Little beach.

He said to me that he felt relieved he could talk to me…

And then we talked about art and how we both felt that if we don’t do our art, we become sick or depressed. So after a little while we were encouraging each other to not give up and to continue to follow our hearts.
I told him that each living being took a magic stick to Earth, it is like a promise you make. You get a talent and it is not really yours. It is God’s and it is always to inspire others.
He said that that could be true; because once he had a woman that returned to Maui to see him dance.
She saw him before and now was dying from cancer. She had still 3 months to live and she flew especially to Maui to see him dance on the beach with sunset. He continued that he didn’t know her, but he said; “Suddenly she was standing in front of me, with no hair and very sick and she opened a door for me!”

Waaw I responded; “That is so cool! I had the same thing going on in Honolulu! I did a Soulpainting for a woman that had cancer and she also opened the door for me when she said that ‘I was the healer of her Soul.’

It was as if those two women were more placed by God for us, then we were for them. Or maybe we were in it all together… J

I suddenly had a new friend. G. and I climbed over the rocks on our way to Little beach and he invited me to sit with his friends. I wanted a family today. It is Sunday and I miss my family especially on Sundays. And here I am surrounded by beautiful people…dancing, singing and swimming…

It gave me a brother in the arts…to never give up what your heart whispers…
You can push it away with both hands, God keeps on bringing it back and you get kicked in the butt once a while.

Yes God is a loving butt kicker…sometimes we need that…
especially me J

All love tamara Rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com