The light shines, I smile again...

It is amazing how life works…well it really works and we are so fortunate to be alive.

I am really in lots of gratitude with my life right now, it is so awesome. I live in Maui, swim every day in the Ocean and it is as if that Ocean is my garden. Instead of walking in my garden I walk into the Ocean and find dolphins, whales, turtles and lot’s of tropical fish that wonders with me every day again and again.

It is as if I live in Wonderland.

As more I am becoming who I really am, I am getting more of who I really am.
Nowadays when my heart wish comes out of my heart, the Universe works to deliver me exactly what I need to bring that heart wish in reality.
It is amazing.

My wish

I was longing for a new tooth.
Maybe two new tooth as a matter a fact.
Maybe even three.

It is for about 18 years I don’t dare to smile fully.
I know that most of you don’t know which journey I made to become who I am today.
When you look to my art that is who I really am.
And even in the darkest periods of my life, my art kept me alive.
It was always joyful and alive. I never ever could paint dark, because when I paint it is the true me who’s painting. So I could escape out of all the abuse I had in my life when I painted.

The identity that was suffering was the guilty-me and was absolutely opposite of my Art-me.

It wasn’t always easy to have two identities.
I got to taste of different abusive situations to learn more of what I didn’t want.
I believe that whatever happens into your life was there to form you in the true alignment you are right now. Such a thing as regrets doesn’t really exist.

But today It is as if I walked through a time portal and I entered a new life.

What have my teeth to do with this?
It is so amazing… yesterday I lost my filling of one of my tooth. Now when I smile you see this big black hole. My friends assure me it isn’t so bad. But for me it is. And for them too. They just try to comfort me.
It is as if I was in a big fight and I was the last 20 years of my life. I fought with my own self.
It looks awful that big black hole!
I can put a cigarette in it and it won’t go anywhere. Haha

If I would smoke that would be convenient, but I don’t.

I fell 18 years ago on my face. I had the disease anorexia nervosa and weigh 72 pounds, I was very weak and fell down and lost my beautiful teeth. They fixed it with attaching pieces. It was not so well done, but I never had the money to really fix it right. I feel so ashamed for my teeth. I always have trouble to smile and I love to smile.

Anyway a few days ago I got the message your tooth will fall out.

Was it my own creation? And I created it or was it from a higher source to warn me. I think it was a simultaneous thing.
It is my desire to change my teeth and to leave the past of pain and suffering behind and to enter my Paradise now. I had anorexia nervosa for almost 18 years.
The last 6 months of my life are the happiest ones I ever had EVER.
What changed my whole life was the decision to love myself. I started attracting people that love me and it made me more loving and I attracted more people that were loving…

I got anorexia almost 20 years ago when my mom died from cancer. Because I had run away from home and had a relationship with a woman at the time, my family accused me for my mom’s death.
I walked with this burden for about 20 years and when you allow yourself to walk with that, you only attract more of that. I allowed people to punish me and abuse me , because I thought I didn’t deserve better.
It was lifted off my shoulders this summer when my dad visited me in Hawaii and told me it was not my fault. He told me I could let it go and I could be happy.

You can’t imagine what a relief I felt! It was as if I stepped out of prison after 20 years.

It was the prison of my own mind.
I believed the thoughts that I made my mom sick.

I could have chosen 20 years ago to have another thought but I didn’t.
I did change my thoughts when my dad gave me permission and I felt so free.

Since July my life is so wonderful.
And that I lost my tooth is not a bad thing I feel deep inside.
It feels as if I start over again.
I walked out of the prison of my own limited thoughts and can open my arms to the light and the sun and

SMILE again…

We all have the power to free ourselves of belief systems that are formed in the past and in the now..When you do, you will see how your life changes from hell to Paradise!
I promise you!

If you need help I do intuitive readings through sketches. It is very profound and it liberates you deeply.
Call me for an appointment 808-754-5883
or go to my website and shoot me an email…

Namaste!

The painting is a Maui sunset and is for sale on www.rainbowsheart.com