The manta rays taught me 'Graceful strength'

 

 

Again it is a long time I didn’t write.
This time it is because I went through a huge obstacle in my mind…J
We say the road, but I say the mind….
There are only obstacles in the mind, that’s all there ever happens.
The road is always free…
Maybe there is not even a road…there is a road when you think you have to make a distance to come back to who you really are. But when you realize that YOU ARE who YOU ARE…well no roads…J
only space…We are space…awareness…

Mamaji, my teacher/mom had told me two days ago that we had an agreement.
It was so important for me she said that. I felt I didn’t have to face all of this on my own; she was there with me….already for a long time. Promising to her, did something to me…I changed.
Also I trust her so completely…I knew I could let go…

I agreed to NOT worry anymore, something I did for the past 20 years or more…J.
It always goes about the same old story, as many people have that story going on…

Paying the bills, the rent, making money, and all that crap that we think we ought to do.
It, since a long time I compromise myself…maybe even not as much as other people do, but still I did, with choosing things I don’t want to do…
MAmaji taught me that it is DANGEROUS to do something you don’t WANT to do!!!

It goes against your heart and against the TRUTH….

Can you imagine what you create in the field, in the Universe when you do something you don’t want to do? You get more of what you don’t want!

I am some-body, in fact no-body that doesn’t want to compromise anymore. I want to be FREE!!!!!

The last week I created a whole bunch of shit with all the worries I put out there through my fearful thoughts….
I had somebody threatening me, which chocked me so much…that it was as if I understood I couldn’t go further like this.  Of course I always take the projection back and saw that I was threatening me for a very long time already…what goes on inside will appear outside…
Worries are putting destructive energy in the field.

Also I had made the sublime creation of getting sick again…J
yep the destruction of my worry did its job!

I had two ear infections…haha because I am not listening to my true Self…J
And a bladder infection….which says that I am pissed because I feel I am powerless to hear what my true awareness wants to tell me…
Oh boy…
and other stuff too...

I was out of balance, really sick again and I still am…a bit…

But it is a miracle…
Yesterday I felt so sick…
Yesterday I kind of let go of that branch too…

You know the story of the branch, right?

I am hanging of a cliff and I shout; “is somebody up there?”
“yes”; I hear; “God’.
I ask;”Help me God!"
God says;”Let go!”
I don’t want to hear that and so I ask;”God, what do you want me to do? Help me.”
God says;”Let go!”
Because I am so afraid to let go and I don't want to hear THAT answer, I ask now;
”Is somebody else up there?”
LOL

In my case God was disguised in Mamaji and we are working together already for a long time for me to let go…and I was worried and scared, but then yesterday things happened and I got sick again as I told you….and the branch broke off!
Sometimes LIFE helps you to let go….
It is of course my deep desire to be free of all of that sets that energy in motion. That brings me Mamaji, Moojiji and other events on my path, because I am sooooo longing to be free….

I realized and that’s kind of when the branch broke off (and maybe I let go in the same moment) that I had the belief;”I CAN NOT support myself.”
Of course when you have that going on…you live in a very difficult situation…
How can you live the life you want, when you believe that?

NOT OF COURSE….

I was talking to Mamaji on the phone and the last thing I said to her was just that;
“I feel can’t support myself.”
And her last words were, because she needed to run: “Is that true?”

We love the Byron Katie work…a LOT!
Anyway I was driving away in my car and asked myself the question is that true…
Something in me broke, I started crying, it was as if something was lifted off my shoulders.
Is that true?

NO< IT IS NOT TRUE!!!!
We think we are in control, we think we have to make it happen, have to do everything to try to stay alive…but all those things IS WORK and is the opposite of ALIVENESS and ABUNDANCE…
I had a break through…
All this time I could see I was not the one supporting me!!!
It was awareness, God or how you want to call it…that was supporting me all this time…
Supporting me is NOT my JOB!

What a relief!

We are being lived and when I saw that…I didn’t only feel it…it was as if I tasted it,….

It went through my whole being…as a lightening flash…

Yes….

Ow I feel weird now…It is as if I, Rainbow, the person is gone…
I made a deep decision inside of me to NOT worry anymore. I am in agreement with Mamaji….
And it is kind of that everything fell of me…
As my ego fell down of that cliff and the awareness, my true self was watching it falling...

Tonight I am almost healed… I hear again and my bladder is fine too…just a little pain in my ears still…

I also got the assistance of about 80 dolphins, about 10 turtles today and in the last 2 days 4 manta rays …numerous amount of whales close in and breaching all around….today was a celebration…
They were all there to SUPPORT me!
The celebration of my new birth, the new me…that’s the me without an identity…
Or I am the one not attached to my identity…that sounds better…

The manta rays opened my eyes big time…yesterday one swam behind me and suddenly appeared in front of me, and turned and then came up and was hanging on my belly. This happened just after somebody had treatened me and I was out of balance...

I had swim with them before, but I thought he could see me. Parentally not because suddenly he moved away a few meters…

Snorry….but he was ok…Then I followed him for about 30 minutes, oh my how beautiful are they!
He still came up a few times again…but not as high anymore to hang a few inches of my belly…J

I guess I needed some manta ray energy!!! To balance me again!
(I taped it all, but still have to upload it…that will be for tomorrow….)

Anyway today, there was another one when I saw the dolphins!
I am a dolphin and I saw myself still in the water by 3 o’clock this afternoon somewhere…
I feel home there…
And I guess I had another appointment with two other manta rays…

They just appeared underneath me…and now I found their eyes…they are so majestic beings…
In maori (or Hawaiian) manta ray means GRACEFUL STRENGHT…

Something I needed the last few days…to let GO of that branch!

I let go with grace and strength...

Thank you mama-ji!!! Without you I could not do this...

Thank you manta rays! Hahalua-ji! (manta ray in Hawaiian)

Thank you Naia-ji!(dolphin in Hawaiian)

Thank you Honu-ji! (turtle in Hawaiian)

Thank you kohola-ji! (whale in Hawaiian)

Thank you Mooji-ji!

Here I go...it was not so gracious though...LOL
or maybe it was!!!WITH GRACEFUL STRENGTH

Rainbow-ji
www.rainbowsheart.com

I breathe in depth of being

Painting I made in Belgium 2005

I breathe in
deep
  a sigh...
I breathe in
depth
of being.

I breathe in
the warm breeze
caresses
my skin,
enters
my nose,
tickles
my belly...

I breathe in
deep
a sigh...
I breathe in
depth of being.

I breathe in
warm colors
spirals
my body,
enters
my eyes,
tickles
my heart…

I breathe in
deep
a sigh...
I breathe in
depth of being.

I breathe in
a butterfly,
(right now flying on my leg)
loves
my poem,
touches
my leg,
wants
my breath…

I breathe in
deep
a sigh...
I breathe in
depth of being.

I breathe in
this poem,
glorious,
it writes
about
glory of breath
glory of depth
glory of sunrises
glory of butterflies
glory of being
and
about
glory of YOU!

I breathe in
deep
a sigh...
I breathe in
depth of being.
 

I breathe in
this poem
embraces
your sweetness,
celebrates
your being,
sees
your glory!


I breathe in
deep
a sigh
I breathe in
depth of being.


 

I breathe in
your being
that loves
me,
supports
me,
glorifies
me.


I breathe in
deep
a sigh
I breathe in
this poem
out
of the
depth
of
my being.
 

I breathe in
this poem
for you...

For YOU,
my glorious
beloved
Mamaji!




Rainbow

www.rainbowsheart.com

Far out! This kayak ride along Keawakapu beach!

 

 

Oh my God…told you yesterday that the 12 dollar pancakes were the best I ever ate…

That was a big lie…
Excuse me, ok am going to brag a little bit…
I do bought the 3 dollar package of pancake mix…(see blog yesterday)
and my friend J. tells me today, it is a box full of junk…
and she might be right.
She said to me that she loves to eat pancakes that are freshly made etc…you know that good stuff…but are they also not using all that crap? Maybe they are using that 3 dollar box too…J
who knows?

When I was 20 I worked in a factory where we cooked and boxed frozen meals and right there my eyes were astonished to see that we had to UNBOX a cheap brand frozen product add some salt and RE-BOX it in an expensive BRAND kind of BOX…
Hmmm…
Well…
It made me kind of skeptic for statements of ‘better’ brands…’better’ stuff…
Humhum…you get what I mean….

Anyway to come back to the pancakes…MINE are the best…REALLY…LOL

Oh boy…I know how to make them…I make them in a Belgian way I guess.
The American way is tick and fat, mine are crispy and thin…
( I like the American way too, if I don’t have to make them, but am served…woeha!)
Yes those crispy ones are called crepes…whoooohoe!
They are so good!
If I would make them for you, you would absolutely forget the 12 dollar pancakes of Longhis and come to my place(see blog from yesterday)…
yep I am very confident about my crepescakes…J
Also if you would eat my French fries that are never or can NEVER be called FRENCH fries really…

Now my chauvinistic nature comes above water (that is a Belgian expression)
My Belgian ego is stirring up a bit…J

Haha
Belgium has almost on each corner of the street, on every market place..

A market place in Belgium is a place in the middle of the city, it is mostly a round open space, close to the church, government buildings of the city where every week they have farmers market.

Mostly on each market place we have a ‘FRIETKOT’ or “FRITERIE’…
‘Frietkot’ is the Flemish word and ‘Frieterie’ is the French word…
In Belgium we speak two languages as you know…
I am not going further into this delicate matter…
I am speaking English anyway now…haha

Anyway a ‘frietkot’ or ‘frieterie’ is a little cabin where they bake BELGIAN fries…
Fries are invented in Belgium, not in France…NO NO…

They also sell brochettes, frikadellen…meat balls…all that awful stuff…hot dogs…
And they have like 20 different sorts of mayonnaise or ketchup to go with the fries…

Oh my God it is soooooo good…
I know if I would open a ‘frietkot’ in Hawaii, I would be very successful…

Maybe…who knows…Who wants Belgian fries in Hawaii?

I could make Hawaiian fries…made from sweet potatoes…but
I don’t know if that would work…people don’t want that healthy stuff…J

Mostly nowadays I am very loving to myself and choose mostly vegetables, rice, beans etc…
to care for my body…
But I have something like…when you want to eat something kind of ‘wrong’…
“Is there such a thing as WRONG?”
Not in my world!
Anyway…
I mean when your body or whatever it is craves for something…
I believe you should give it
and then not compromise…
and just do it…
even the such called WRONG thing!!!!

And so comes out of a so called BAD box…J

 

Today was awesome, I don’t know how it happened, but I wrote yesterday that I am shifting from a ‘money’mind =monkey mind,
to an ‘abundance’mind= free mind…

And waaaw
First invited in the Grand Wailea last week and today I call my friend T. asking if she knows of Kayaks to rent…
“Just come over already”; she replies.
I called her back and said; “Euh do you know how much it will cost approx…”
“Nothing”; she said; “Get the hell here…”
Oh my…
An hour later my friend J. and me were drifting between Keawakapu beach and Wailea amongs tons of whales that came up just next to us…

They didn’t leave, were just curious who those two nutcases were!!!

It started…with a kiss…

No …It started…
with me shouting
“I believe something is under my kayak!”
OH MY……PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There… Mama whale came up just next to me with baby.

OHOHOHOH!
She stayed with us for about 30 minutes, coming up, going down, just meters away from us, then turned around us…OHOHOHOH

We were…well I was blown away, it is amazing…
a few days ago I saw a mama whale and baby in the water just in front of me, but having them next to your boat is exciting too..Woeee…they are so big….
So close they come…

I was wondering how they would feel me; I am a tiny little fly on their back…J

Then suddenly the wind kicked up …so high waves suddenly… we were …
far out and far away from the 5 palms…
Woehoe, high waves…high high, they were smashing over me…

There was nothing else to do than to start heading back…
You could not rest for one second because my kayak lost immediately a few meters IN THE WRONG DIRECTION…WRONG DIRECTION!!!

While battling the waves…suddenly I think 3 big whales just came up next to me…woeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Amazing, just next to me…..

But after that…I knew we had to go go forward or we would end up somewhere at Makena landing, far away from our destination…

I died in that kayak…said to myself ‘never again’…
until I made the youtube video…of our adventure…J

J. who was next to me  10 meters…I was happy I could count on her she could take care of herself…Afterwards I heard she thought the same about me...
She was parentally rewarding herself (she told me later also) with French indulging toast at Longhis…
I wanted Belgian crepes when I came on land with coffee…All the so called wrong stuff!
Ohohoh!

 OOOH so much pain in my legs…what was it hard!

And you know I am a dolphin, I need or WANT to be IN the water…not on top of it.
IN, in ,in!

I must say we…in fact did a great job…so against the waves…

I remember …when I was dragging myself back to the 5 palms…

seeing no PROGRESS at all…it seems that whatever effort I did…1,2,1,2,1,2,1…
It felt for a long time I was not going forward…
At some point I really thought I was not going to make it.
And a lot of my friends know me, I am very strong…
really…
But I also know that I never give up and that I would even drag the boat miles if I have too…

But something in me was clever and said; “Rainbow dragging will be so much more painful …dragging through the sand the whole length of keawakapu beach…just bite on your teeth and don’t give up…”

So there I went!

It were the cramps in my butt and legs that were so painful, my arms were ok…and I couldn’t really give myself a break or my 10 meters forward would have been rewarded with 20 meters backwards…

I am a very adventurous being and so we just went out again after that deep in the Ocean…

This time swimming…happy me! I just needed that after our kayak torture....

We love it…J I do, but I know J. does too…swimming...

Great team we are!!!! J
A team that is creating one abundance treat after the other… J


From a life of ‘HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN”…that’s the spell of money….
HAVE TO WORK, HAVE TO CONTROL,…etc…
to a life of ‘BEING LIVED’…that’s the vibration of awareness…of abundance…
NO HAVE TO’S THERE…only letting go and letting GOD...
It is the life of freedom….

Ok J. already manifested or created…
'manifested' is still a word I feel that has too much a vibration of EFFORT in it…..

Let’s say she created already she is invited to a Valentines Dinner…
Ok now me… what will I create?

Where am I going to be invited…I am already excited….

Maybe it will be me who’s inviting me….

how loving is that!

kriebels in my belly…
‘kriebels’ is Dutch and means tinseling in my belly…
Woeha….

Love Rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

From La Perouse to Ahihi

Mmmm,

Don’t think I died or disappeared somewhere in the void, because I didn’t write yet.

Or hei maybe I did.

I…as most beings went through a deep shift…
It feels good.

At least I am not sick anymore and gained kind of my immune system back…

I have several good excuses to nOT write.
The first one is just an easy one, I am not writing because I am not.
That is what Mamaji would say or what she taught me…
Once I said to her I would want to fly and go somewhere.

“As long you are not sitting in that airplane, you don’t need to talk about it….because when you do, you are in some made up story. You fly when you fly…”; she said.
I write when I write…

So that means I am starting to not live ahead of time anymore…
More and more I live like that….more and more and deeper and deeper…
I came to see that I thought I had some control in life…
Hmmm well that thought was radical wrong….
There is no such thing as being in control…anyway that’s where I am at…

Meantime I am enjoying whale season and those little babies keep me busy. I can’t leave the water.
Only hearing their songs and I am sold!

When you see some flippers straight in the air above the water sticking out, for the longest time…that’s me listening to the whale symphony.
I am also lucky, my friend J. is visiting Maui and then we go far out and make really long swims, what brings us into lots of adventures.

Today we swam from La Perouse bay to Ahihi. It was my first time. She is a pro in swimming that piece and she told me very intense stories about shark rock.
One time she said there were about 20 sharks around there.
Ok I was ready to face that!
We swam and I could see the closer we would come to shark rock, my belly would start having some fear. I knew it were my thoughts that were signaling those fears into my belly…no thoughts, no fear!

Anyway, suddenly I hear a shout. It was J.
It came just next to my right side, 2 meter (6feet) behind me. I looked over my shoulder and I hear her saying; “There is a big shark! As big as me!”
Oh shit, I thought,…
I hear her saying;”It’s a black tip though.”
Haaaaa, I thought.
We are not afraid of black and white tips….

Immediately she says; “But they are still sharks, they can make mistakes.”

FUUUUUUnny….to say such thing, right in that moment.
She has good timing and good sense of humor.

I was looking if I could see the big shark, where was it?
Than suddenly I see, kind of…in my eyes, my perception…
a black tip as big a 10 year old child,
I estimated.

Ok I thought…
That must be the baby…
Where is the big one…

I really was prepared to see this 12 foot huge monster coming towards me….

But now a same kind of size black tip turned around the other black tip…

And hup there they looked at us and took off, scared….:)

J. taught me a huge lesson….And I have learned this lesson already many times, just like each one of us. Sometimes our thoughts…it are not our fears!!!!
Fear comes after the thought…
See a long time ago in Belgium we would say, that fear can make things look bigger and worse and impossible and…and…
But it are our thoughts about it that makes fear come up…that is very good news, because if we drop the thought, there goes the fear…

I guess we have deep inside a natural fear reflex like every animal…like those two sharks when they saw us big monster humans…

I hope you get what am talking about…

Anyway, it was cool to swim all that way around the reserve of Ahihi.
Don’t know how many miles, but enough…It was great…

 

One of the changes I am making in my life is that I am dropping the ‘money spell’.
Almost the whole world is under that spell and it destroys our freedom.
I am learning with Mamaji to come in the space of Abundance…
I AM ABUNDANCE and you let all control go of how that SHOULD look like….

Last week I got treated by my friend J. on dinner and then the next days she invited me in the Grand Wailea. I indulged myself in the resort life together with her. We ‘roushed’ of slides as apes, splashed as Tarzans in deep waters, we napped on launch chairs as Kings and Queens, sunned under parasols as nothing to worry tourists,…

ABUNDANCE!!!!

Life teaches and helps you coming into that space of abundance and helps you leaving the SPELL of money…Really…
This is VERY funny….
This is a little story of how you create your own life…because after all, you are your own life and the creator of it. We are awareness and all what arises in it, is our own creation…Our thoughts and especially our feelings creating our world that arise out of us…

For 3 weeks I wanted pancakes…but not like just wanting, but WANTING…craving…really…I would go to the shop and when I was holding the box in my hand I had several arguments to NOT buy it.
One was that it wasn’t healthy, but the most IMPORTANT one was that I thought it was too EXPENSIVE…
Money, money, money…

3 dollars, really Rainbow?

My mind can sometimes make up the most bizarre stories…Do you have that too?

One day, I was swimming with my friends B. and J….we were cold and I was longing for coffee and pancakes big time. Kind of 3 weeks after the pancake craving situation….
When we came out of the water my friend B. asked if I wanted to go to Longhis having coffee and a cinnamon role.

I know she was making me comfortable it was not going to be a large amount of money….:)
“Ok”, I said.

I was scanning the menu and pancakes which I really WANTED was 12 dollars….I couldn’t believe it.
12 dollar pancakes…Waaw..Coffee was 4 and a cinnamon role was 5.
I didn’t want the cinnamon role at all, but I made kind of a compromise because in my mind I could never spend 12 dollars on pancakes. That was kind of a sin…J

Ok I felt safe, I knew what I was going to order…oef…

Ready

There comes the waiter with his little book ready to write down our order and says;
“ I am sorry to inform that today we are out of cinnamon rolls.”
LOL

Haah

I couldn’t believe my ears….

I guess that my intense longing of the last 3 weeks created I was going to spend 12 dollars on pancakes.
Plus that the last weeks I was changing from the ‘poor’ identity to the ‘abundant’ identity…
It was time for me to spend ridiculous a lot of money on pancakes!!
Indulge and love myself enough to treat me with pancakes…
Not ordinary pancakes, but 12 dollar pancakes…

Yep… I was and I did….
see I am still talking and writing about it!

Those were the best pancakes I ever ate!
Truly…they better!!

 

LOL

 ok...I know...my friend J. is not 12 feet neither....:)

Rainbow,

www.rainbowsheart.com

Don't look, big shark!

Remember the shark last Sunday…I hardly remember days any more or even know which day we are today. I hardly know anything anymore…

In reality we have no future…
There is only now…
I must be a pain for my friends sometimes…I am hard to pin down, to make plans in advance…

I really live mostly in the moment and sometimes I don’t know what I am doing the next 5 minutes.
Yes!
First I didn’t know what I was doing the next day, then I didn’t know what I was doing in the afternoon…
Then I didn’t know what my next hour would be…now I don’t know what the next 5 minutes bring me.
And in the past when I thought I knew...well that was a big joke and a big lie...I never knew...
Nobody does...

It is very exciting to live like that…
I see me driving and deciding to drive somewhere else, and I trust I go the right direction….you know why I trust that it is the right direction?
Because that is the direction I am driving…LOL
Anyway…tonight I ended up first at Ulua beach and saw myself, driving away direction foodland, to actually stop at Kam 1 and DANCE!
Foodland was of my list…dinner plans shifted in that moment….:)
Dance, dance, dance…
I love to dance…I get all excited…at first I am self conscious of people around me…I wait until the sun goes down, so nobody really sees me. (I think)

But the more I dance the more I am not waiting so long anymore….I just bite through it and start…and then I forget anybody is out there…J

When I dance I am in the ‘IAM’ !
I dance as pure awareness and touch the same in each person that walks around me…or even walks this earth!

Each animal, each plant…all what exists…
I am in gratitude for my life…for all the abundance in my life, such As mamaji, dolphins, whales, turtles, friends, love, joy, Moojiji,…lots lots of blessings!!!

My dance -energy must radiate some excitement in people, because suddenly two women came to dance with me…

“Ye , come and join me!” I told them.

They tried a bit and then sat down behind me…

That was fun!

Maybe I can…and we have a Dutch word for it that is called ‘aanstekelijk’. We don’t really have it in English, I believe. It means that by my energy I affect others to do the same…in a good way…J

Anyway, that was fun to have people dance with me!
Maybe more and more people will start dancing with me…
Maui, one dance paradise!

Oh I was talking about the shark from last week. I had another one at little beach a few days ago.
Little beach is the nude beach and so you are kind of more vulnerable…well, that’s how I feel.
I went without fins and only my snorkel in the water. I had my shorts on, but that was it, planning to go beyond the reef…until a man came straight at me , telling me he just saw a huge tiger…
Ok , that was it, I turned 90 degrees and went back…

I had enough shark energy… J for one week…J

Hmmm, Mamaji kind of made my ego a little upset about the shark…she is good in that.
Let’s say it is her job!
That’s how she gets my BEING being FREE!
she joked and said that the shark was just like s shadow in my video…very little….
“Why were you afraid of a shadow?” She asked.
She is excellent in referring things through things…
The things she says have always deeper meanings…
Yes for a while I am afraid of my own shadow… I knew what she was referring to…
and if she didn’t do it on purpose, it was pure intuition…she is really good at that too…J
She got me! I went into the depth…
The shadow is my mind that tricks me into stupidity…always…
Then my mind is as a shark…a predator that turns my heaven in a hell…
That happens only of course when believe my mind and follow it into hell…J

Good news, I have the choice to turn around 90 degrees as I did with the tiger the other day…and say “No, thank you, Mind! Enough already!”

I could see through her remarks that if I would live without mind from now on, I would totally be FREE always!

Funny was that my swim partner, whom was with me facing that shark…that her ego was kind of disturbed too…J just like mine the day before…J

LOL

As I told you; Mamaji told me that the shark in my video was so far away…
“Or the shark was far away or your video s…cks”, she said.
I don’t know if she really used the S-word…
But to make this story kind of bigger and juicier…we have to pump it up!

Did we do that with the shark too?
Wasn’t it so dangerous after all?

He was at our fins….
Anyway…two conclusions I have here…maybe more, but I’ll start with the first two I can think of right now.
1) When you are scared you make everything bigger…like the elephant that is scared of a little mouse…
Maybe the elephant sees a whale in the mouse…when it is scared…only then…J
2)Oeps I forgot the second possibility already…waaw
well this makes it easy…

Our pure awareness is not afraid, it can’t be…it just is.
It is our personality, our ego that is afraid to lose life…
but in reality it doesn’t have life.
We are air, awareness…that’s it…
The rest is a dream…our thoughts project our lives…

You are the creator…J
of nothing really…
Hilarious.
Do you know something?
I don't.

 

Love tamara rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com

When I leap into your heart

 

When I leap into your heart
I forget
               to breathe
(because)
the resonance of your being,
your heart beat within,
breathes me…

When I leap into your heart
I forget
              to think
…
the spaciousness of your being,
your emptiness within,
‘thinks’ me…

When I leap into your heart
I forget
               to look
…
the awareness of your being,
your eyes within,
‘looks’ me…(*)

 

When I leap into your heart
I forget
               to speak
…
the truth of your being,
your power within,
‘talks’ me…(*)

When I leap into your heart
I forget
               to listen
…
the silence of your being
your void within,
‘listens’ me.(*)

When I leap into your heart
I forget
              to smell
…
The flagrance of your being,
your love within,
scents me.

 

When I leap into your heart
I forget
              to feel,
…
the tenderness of your being,
your deep sweetness within,
caresses me.

 

When I leap into your heart
I forget
               me,
…
the openness of your being,
your freedom within,
awakens me.

 

When I leap into your heart
I fall into you,
MY love,
YOU
who’s
me.

Me
who's,
you,

I fall into me,

When I leap into your heart....

 

(*)Looks me, Listens me…when you read those words, you can imagine that the “IAM” of the person I am talking to (in my case Mamaji) is my own ‘IAM’ as well it is hers.
It is as if she is awareness in my body, looking through my eyes, breathing my breathe, listening through my ears,….
And that awareness that she is, is me….:)

This poem is dedicated to Mamaji. My mom, teacher…
I realized yesterday that I still lose my balance once a while and that her support is holding me up a lot of times. ( a lot of times)
I could see through this event that it is time for me, to support me as much as she supports me.

Can I give myself the life I want?
The freedom I want and can I support myself as much Mamaji supports me?
Can I give myself the freedom to live without a mind?

Can I be so free as she is?

Can I have a free loving heart as she has?

YES! I want to!

I am ready to leap into Mamaji’s heart, so I fall into my own…J

Can I live a life of truth?
Can I love myself enough…or so much to let me live in pure awareness all the time?

YES! I want to!

 

Thank you Mamaji for the safety I have by being in your heart since more than a year…
I changed so much, thanks to your love and support.
I would never have been able to do this on my own…

I am free in a  lot of ways…and I know I can be even more free…and I want too...

Time to leap into my own heart! That's where you are, MamajI!

Lolololololove yume Mamaji!

 

Love Rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com