For Saura...thank you

This is a painting I made…I don’t know why…hah

I just felt I had to make it. Is that not always what always happens, Rainbow?

LOL

I guess the underlying reason was to support my brother.
I don’t know how he feels about it now, because it is a while ago we talked and a longer while ago we saw each other. He came to Hawaii to visit me two years ago.
It is even a very long while ago that he dealt with the death of his dear girl friend Saura.
I never had the opportunity to really meet her.
Just a few months before they were going to come, my father and his wife, my brother and nephew;  Saura was emailing with me. Planning the trip, being excited….

The plan was that she would come with them, but then things happened and unfortunately we got the shock of our lives.
Saura committed suicide.

Isn’t this weird I am writing now to her….:)

But I am I guess…

I wanted to thank her to bring my family here. I know that without her support they would never have made that jump over almost two Oceans…J

That visit healed the relationship with my dad and for me that was very important.
I want to thank her for her role she played in all of this.

And still when I see her picture I only see a happy soul.
I want to thank her for her happy Soul…

When I was painting her whales came into the painting as she is a whale whisperer, a peace bringer…
The thing she did for me…was a whale’s action…
I see the whales as holders for peace in this world….their huge energy….holding us in love…

That’s what I see in her…

At the time when my brother was here I could not be here for him.
My life just collapsed luckily for me…J I see now…J

Haha
My girl friend broke up with me just when my dad was visiting…it was one of the most beautiful painful situations in my life that would bring me to such more clarity, peace and freedom.
I didn’t see it when I was in the middle of it….
I wished I would have been stronger so I could help my brother, but I didn’t have the energy…I was going through a lot of grieve…but he was too…

I offer this painting to him as a healing prayer….

Since they all came here my life opened in so many ways and especially about the concept of death….

Saura ‘s body died but Saura can never die.
Here she is in all her joy….in my HEART…for EVER…

Thank you Saura…
I always felt deeply connected with you, maybe because we both smile so much…
Thank you so much…

 

 

Love , rainbow

www.rainbowsheart.com
www.tamaratavernier.com

My friend's soulpainting

And now the ‘moment supreme’! Mardi’s soulpainting!!!

You could see the little video in my previous post about her reaction, that not only knocked her of her feet but also I was pretty surprised by her beautiful reaction…haha

that’s probably why I kind of pushed the video off and so it stops in the middle of this beautiful experience that I was able to witness…but you got the idea….:)

Of course you need to see it in person or order one for yourself…J

Your very own one…J

In the past I would do readings with it and if people ask I still give a short symbolic meaning, but I came to a place in my life that words doesn’t matter so much anymore…J
The painting, the resonance of it, the energy of the painting itself does the work…J

It’s all in there…J

 

Here is Mardi…and the beauty of who she really IS…J

 

Call or email me….808-754-5883, rainbowsart@yahoo.com
www.tamaratavernier.com

Me almost homeless, a beautiful story and a new painting!!

In a blink of an eye
I see you
you as me

FREE…

The wisdom of seeing

I can see now when my ego does its thing.
I can see now how I thought…and so that is my ego who thought… J
(because I witness the thoughts coming and going…)
My EGO thought it was awareness when all was good in my life.
It thought that when things were ‘bad’ in its own projections, demands, wantings and control; it was losing itself as ‘awareness’.

Something like being enlightened when everything is good and in hell when everything is bad…J

Sometimes I trapped in that big TRAP…

Until now a huge challenge came into my life.
First I thought it was ’bad’ and how can I attract this shit; because I am waking more and more up to the truth of who I am?
(Do you see some flagrance of attitude? YEP my ego self THINKING it is awareness)
Mamaji would explain me I can not only wake up for 80%, it is all or nothing…

MY ego
My ego:
How is it possible that bad things can happen to me when I am pure awareness?
yes it was that ego voice speaking…
nanana nanana

Through this amazing experience I came to see what Mamaji was explaining me for so long ‘with hands and feet”  J Belgian expression that means …well feel what it means…LOL

For the longest time, I couldn’t see that when I gave my life to ’being lived’ I still could have shit in my life. I couldn’t understand how I could create that shit as awareness. I thought awareness had no problems…
Point is that the one that was thinking all of this was the real problem maker…haha
Pure awareness doesn’t have any problem, life just happens…J iT JUST IS!
I am being lived.

When I allow drifting off and letting my ego mind take over, with feelings of fear etc I create reality in that low vibration of being.

When I stay as IAM…as pure awareness the vibration is one of love, freedom, and peace.
There is no judgment about the external world,.
There the internal world is KING, the authority.
There I see the ego playing its game, and there I know it is not me.

Do I have a choice?

Yes I see now I have a choice…Mamaji explained me this one with hand and feet too…J

I have a choice to stay as awareness…

As awareness there is no such thing as past nor future.

I am just presence.

In that place there is trust and a knowing that I don’t KNOW anything…
There is always a BIGGER picture…that I call God’s business…
And in awareness I surrender to that
and there I am! BEING LIVED!

That is what I feel is the symbolic meaning of the owl here in this painting…
the wisdom to know we don’t know anything at all…

Only our ego’s…I’ll talk for myself..

Only my ego makes up lies and stuff to keep it safe…

Hilarious enough is that it wants to be safe, but actually it is a lie, it is nothing. Doesn’t exist…

I often look now from a place of awareness and see and look to the mind and know it are just thoughts and I have a choice to believe them or to see for what it is…a big ego-NOTHING….:)

I see my ego makes up so many stories…and none of it is true.
I see I don’t need to unravel any of those stories or beliefs one by one…
it all falls away at once when I see that ‘I’ one, that ‘me-me’ one is NOTHING at all…

And I am the wise one…haha the one that knows NOTHING at all…

I am presence, space where my whole world arises…

Pure awareness…

I saw that when I gave my mind the leadership, my life is a big shit mess…from one lie(Belief) comes another…and it creates and creates and creates more of those lies…all just to be safe…

J

And truly…actually I never felt soooo unsafe in my life when I gave the authority to my mind.
I have experienced that safe doesn’t exist in awareness,
because if you need to be safe, it means you can be unsafe…

Awareness jUST IS…

A few months ago I was homeless. I gave the authority to awareness, to being lived.
Was I scared?
Oh yes I was. My ego was.
But there was a place, space in me that was peaceful, full of love and trust that all was well.

I didn’t know where I was going to end up, but I made that shift than…and surrendered to being awareness. I stayed in that place of giving my life to ‘being lived’ the higher or larger
picture.
I have experienced that awareness DOESN’T fight with life, just goes with it from one NOW moment in the other. Awareness doesn’t question if something is wrong.
Awareness doesn’t say “I shouldn’t be homeless.”
Awareness just trusts.
Not even…I mean there is no such thing in awareness that it has a need to trust…but it feels like that…

I was carrying my belongings, which mostly consists of paints and paintings…J in my friend’s storage.
It was the day before THE day…the day I thought I needed to sleep in my car somewhere…
A man walks in the storage and he wears one of my art shirts. And we started talking.

It come s to a point I ask him if I can put up a tent in his yard.
And he invited me in his home. I live in his porch now. It is a screened in room, the entrance of his house. It is like an art studio. Mostly I am outside.

He offered me his fridge and his stove.

An outdoor shower and a toilet…

This 78 old man just took me like that in his home.. just like that.
We were complete strangers to each other…
In the place of awareness we are one of course…

You know what I mean…
complete strangers…and he just picks me up and helps me out…J

And you know what I always had the story going on that he loves my company…which his friends confirm…and I see that in him…he was otherwise always alone with his dog…
Now I encourage him to play music etc…

But to be truthful … I love his company …J

It was hard for me to accept…this gift of life…

But I came to see that we don’t know anything and that his giving might be something that makes him whole… I only know that I was asked to accept this gift of love and not to try to figure things out and stay with my nose out of GOD”S business…

Do I have a longing to have my own home and my art being sol like peanuts  (Belgian saying..means EASY) YES, I do…but who is that one that wants that???

I see it…awareness just IS and is being lived….

I am happy here with L. and his dog…

I can be myself here completely…and it would be not something my ego would ever have chosen…

But living with this man is quiet an exceptional beautiful experience.

 

Thank you L.

Love, Rainbow
www.tamaratavernier.com
this painting is for sale , call me 808754-5883 or email rainbowsart@yahoo.com

Am a party-beast! here is a new painting!

This is a new painting in the series wood and canvas….

 

It is a big piece consisting out of 4 wooden pieces and one canvas.

The pieces are overlapping…I wanted to give the feeling to the watcher of the painting how I feel when I watch my own life.
I am space, the joyful space of being and what happens at the outside comes to me in fragments.

Those fragments are the 4 pieces of wood on top of each other, turning…

Each new moment has a new image, it is that that appears in front of me.
The movie, but is not me…
I am that that is behind it all.
That is watching it…J

I look to my life, my body, my mind, my thoughts, my beliefs…none of it is me…
it is similar than to look to the painting….the artist is not the painting…J

Images of the swan, the bear, the flute player, the cat….coming and going  in front of me…
they are not separate from me, because they are THAT space just like me.
(The space where I am looking from.)

When they look to me, they look from that same space…IAM.

We are the same…

All of reality in front of my eyes is passing by….there is no past, no future….just I am that space…

When I am there people move in and out, conversations, my thoughts, etc…
That space has no identity, is not a person, it is FREE…

I was at this amazing party two days ago and normally my ego would whisper things like…

You are not good enough,
blabla
my body,
my this, my that….
I would feel very ashamed walking around and mostly what happens is that I take off… J

BUT

This time Mamaji’s work resulted in me walking around as awareness…
seeing beautiful people walking in and out,
having fun…
talking, eating…

I could also see that the shame came from my OWN self judgment…nobody really cared really…
I mean the voices were mine, nobody else’s!

I could also see THAT because I didn’t have that self judgment anymore I also had no judgment about anyone or anything else…

I saw only beauty…
I could see that people were doing what they were doing because they were believing their minds and it looked sweet and innocent and so pure…I felt only love for everyone…in that place of space…
and love for me when a silly thought would appear and pass through…

When I am there I am so spacious, and free….

I was in top form and danced my legs off…
OH!!!!!!!! I LOVE TO DANCE!
LOl
I celebrated the moment, each new moment and new moment…again and again…
with champagne…woehoe!
And with OMG delicious dessert…OHOH that was the bom!

It kind of was a little European pastry…I couldn’t stay away from it…J

Now am in my ego European costume thinking that we have BETTER pastry than the Americans…haha
Well actually we do…LOL , very LOUD….

Two days late I didn’t had any reaction on the candida overgrowth in my body….!!!
10 .ucking months…of not eating any sugar, wheat, vinegar,….better say what I could eat…eggs, vegetables and nuts…Am used to it now…and I kind of love it this way…
bUT going for it TOTALLy insane to gave whatever I want…aaah that felt soooooooo good.

YOEHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love ,Rainbow!

 

This painting is for sale and costs $1150, call me! 808-754-5883

www.tamaratavernier.com

In the series POEMS for Mamaji, Dancing within the spiral of our being...:)

Soft pastel light blue sky
little ripples
touching playfully
turquoise water
fine purple
small
tiny
lines
chasing each other
in the play of life.

Little wind,
warm,
very gently,

my hair moves.

White
move-less clouds,
packets
of whipped cream
on my blue face.

A little brown
something
on the flat
wave-less
morning Ocean.

Yellow little head
air
the breath of an angel
in a turtle body.

Light blue
harmonious
unity,
Mother Ocean,
breaks open
in a joyfull
laughter
in the happiness
to share.

Little turtle
showing
Its butt
in the grateful
effortless
fulfillment
of its
needs
in the moment.

I am tasting
the excitement
of stillness
drama-less
empty
existence…

It feels like YOU,
the safe
haven of
PURE awareness.
The peaceful
untouched space
of your being…

Body-less
thought-less
story-less
drama-less
ALIVENESS…

The place
where I AM
YOU,
nothing
and it
ALL.

The stillness
I found
NOW
In me,
behind me,
as YOU
soft
sweet
loving
peaceful
energy,
Mamaji!

The stillness,
an endless
infinite presence.

This stillness
stttttttttttttttttttttt……

No words for it
just
silence…

Words come and go…

I dance
swirl and swirl
spin and spin
in gratitude
for the gift
of YOU
in my life,
the center of my being!!!!!

 

Love, rainbow
I lololololololove you mamaji
www.tamaratavernier.com

In the series POEMS for Mamaji...the butterfly

As a butterfly
emerging

From my heart

YOUR heart

Its wings
waving
LARGE
 in the warm thrilling wind

Red dots
on its skin
BRIGHT
as poppy flowers in green fields

its turquoise
greenish
YELLOW
moving

gently

As the breath of God

its antenna’s
resonant

the movement of presence…

IT

being lived by life…

The butterfly
rising
out of the
UNLOCKED door of my heart…

The gates disappeared

THE TOUCH
of your presence
THE LOVE
of your heart
THE PATIENCE
of your being…

IT
vanished…

In the truth of who we are together as ONE.

Tears in my eyes
gRATITUDE
RECEIVING such gift…

a treasure,

The lOVE of my life!

YOU!

I am open
in receiving you!

AND

there I AM

as YOU!

RECEIVING ME!

Pure space,
pure LOVE,
Pure awareness,

Thank you thank you Mamaji!

I lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololove YOU!

ok I surrender...:)

This is my new painting!

It is acrylics on wood…

This painting is painted in my own process of seeing through the lie of ego, the lie of mind and thoughts.

My life is so much lighter now, since I know who I really am. In pure awareness there are NO PROBLEMS!

If I look back to my life and all the stuff I went through… so much stuff…all of it was the cause of my own beliefs… Now it is nothing, then when my mind was ruling I suffered a lot. Really a LOT.
I suffered anorexia, was in a cult severely sexual abused, attracted one after the other abusive relationship; BECAUSE my mind was abusive….
There is where it starts!
Not in the outside world, NO BODY ever does something TO YOU….

There is not such a thing as an outside world, everything happens inside and the resonance will show up outside of you…J

It all happens in our minds!
We create our own world…

 

Mamaji would ask;”Who are you being?”

NOW I reply;”I am no-body, pure awareness.”

When I feel that,deeply, nothing can touch me; because I don’t believe anymore the SHIT my mind makes up…J

I was a believer. I was such a poor believer….a believer…

Now I know that beliefs are NOTHING…Nothing!

There when I realized that…that set me free!

If there is nothing that I believe anymore that comes from the mind…

Awareness is awareness, doesn’t have to believe it is awareness…doing hard work to be awareness…

No no, it just is who I am…NO –thing to do to be it…Am already it….:)

Very much I feel for the first time in my life I AM UNTOUCHABLE…

Past thoughts such as, this person is going to hurt me, this one doesn’t like me, she should love me, …blabla all comes from my mind and is

 

FAKE

Haha

 

Yes I see that now…J

Realizing that and everything fell away and there I AM!

I AM!

In the painting I symbolically painted the red boxes turning into flowers,
into flowers flying with the wind…just flying by, beautiful flowers.
The boxes are symbol for the mind.
The mind THINKS in boxes…
The thoughts just come and go…as the flowers flying in the wind…
The man in the painting releases himself from being a person, from being a man, from being anything at all….he is thoughtless… NO MIND ANYMORE!
NO BOXES…
NO thoughts he beliefs anymore…
NO BELIEFS…

He is FREE!

AND HE IS ME!

 

Love Rainbow
www.rainbowsheart.com
www.tamaratavernier.com

This painting is for sale, just shoot me a email rainbowsart@yahoo.com
or call me…808-754-5883

A 'healing' painting for a 'healing' whole boy

This is a new painting

I was asked to make a painting for a boy who is very sick.
I had to remember I was doing that before.
When I arrived in Hawaii in 2006 just before that I was kind of thrown in a healing function. I never asked for it, it just happened and people were just asking and always I knew what to say or to do.

I guess now would be the same…

 

Once in Belgium I helped a cat through the owner…that’s how it works, children and animals are connected to their parents or loved ones. The resonance of being makes one sick or healthy  and that translates in messages for each other.
All is connected!

The cat was very sick. I could see it had kidney stones and helped it through giving the owner insights and by visualizing healing.

It worked, she went to the vet and he said he never saw something like that. There was a layer of crushed kidney stones in the kidney.

What would I know?

I did it with my own dog as a matter a fact. She had injured her leg so badly in the snow that I needed to go to the vet.

To make a long story short…

I realized that I was the cause of my dog’s pain and injury. I was VERY self destructive in that time in my life. I had anorexia, 8 piercings in my left ear and I was very abusive towards my Self.
While my dog was lying there asleep from the vet’s injection I had some time to reflect. When the vet came back and told me she needed surgery; I realized that it was me who could make a change.

I knew deeply that if I would take a step to LOVE, my dog didn’t need surgery at all.
The love for my dog made me take out all my ear rings, symbol for the abuse I was inflicting on myself.
I knew the negative spell was broken with this deed of choosing for LOVE and so when the vet came in, I told him I was not going to let him do surgery. The ear rings were in the trash bin…J

He started yelling so hard, called me an animal abuser.

But I just picked up my dog and walked out of the door.
I still am perplexed I did that.
Customers were looking at me….

Me walking away.

When I came home, I was suddenly scared.
What If she couldn’t walk anymore; because that was what the vet warned me for.

I guess I was guided by God when I walked out of that door and now I was with my own fear full thoughts again that were causing me doubt…

Mercy was her name, she was lying next to me and it took a few hours for her to wake up.
And she did and she got up, jumped up. Her sister jodhi jumping on her in happiness and they ran the door out to play in the snow again. JJJ

Everything is possible…

I made a change towards being whole within myself; towards self love and the energy shifted and made a miracle happen.
I believe this is always possible…

 

When I was in Hawaii one time I was swimming with my friend W. in kealakekua Bay with dolphins.
He was a ‘crack’ in swimming with dolphins. He would come every day and knew them all. I was a little newbie…;) just arrived a few months….
There was a mom dolphin and a baby swimming along us.
W. told me you could see the baby was sick.
It was pinkish, small and didn’t look good.

I instantly put my hands out towards the baby and the mom circled around us and let her baby be with us. It especially came to my hands. Than the mom swam away for about 15 yards (15meters) and made a few spins and returned for her baby.
And then they left.
W. said he never saw a mom leaving her baby behind. He never saw her being so happy…spinning so many times…especially when her baby was somewhere else…

The next day it was healed and grey…J swimming close to mama dolphin, happy happy…J

I didn’t know anything… still don’t J

And then I had that special bound with Loesje, THE DOLPHIN (the video is on my website www rainbowsheart.com)
Loesje was a male dolphin who had a really bad cookie cutter bite.
When I met loesje, he didn’t want to leave me. For hours he stayed so close with me, and I didn’t know why….:)  the only thing I was thinking of was putting out my hands…This went on for about a week…

So now, today, I remember all these stories…in my huge shifts of the last year, two years with Mamaji;
I never thought of it….
I mean in the path I walked to see who I really am, the space I am…THERE…
there is no problem with anything.
There I know I am neither the body nor mind.
There illness is not a problem.
So why would I heal than?

Always when I was asked for healing owls would come into my life. Very peculiar, strange…in Belgium there are not many and they would come any time… It became my amakua or power animal…J

They would sit on the roof of my house, or fly by, …anyway they would show very intensely their precense.

So, I got the question in the beginning of the week to make this painting for this wonderful soul.
And since the start of the painting an owl is visiting me every night…J
YES!
Didn’t see any for a long time…but the word healing is out and there they are!

Here in the tree..

Am I a healer?

No, I am nothing…J

Am I nothing doing a healing…LOL

Does anybody needs healing?

I don’t know….

Maybe now I can guide where Mamaji guided me in, much deeper than ever before…
she guided me towards the wholeness of my own being….

Point is that the intelligence, God, the Universe is always with us and YES does miracles….

This whole life is one miracle…

Is it my business to help somebody with a healing?

I mean by this:

Am I not in God’s business?

I guess me as AWARENESS doesn’t think about all of that, and just performs and does what comes in front of her /me to do whatever anybody asks….:)

The baby dolphin this morning had a closed eye and I sent him energy…
I see a woman with a broken leg and send her energy…
The turtle with a wound,
I hold the dying fish in my hands,
The deer’s heart,
I am with my heart with all the pigs and cows who live as numbers,
I hold the captive dolphins in my free heart,….

But

DO I KNOW ANYTHING, really?

Do I know what I am doing?

NO…

I don’t know anything…

I just let it all happen…

I guess LOL…it is NOT of my business…

The owl smiles….

The symbolic meaning of the painting can’t be revealed, it is very personal.
It is here just to enjoy and to maybe ask to send the boy your blessing and love.

 

All love rainbow
this was a commissioned painting,
Do you want a commissioned painting?

Please contact me, rainbowsart@yahoo.com
www.rainbowsheart.com
www.tamaratavernier.com

My response on the many comments about my 'deer' friend at Makena,Maui

                                        

 

 

 

I was happy to see how many people were touched by my experience with the deer.

Thank you all!

 

I want to share this with you…

One ‘being’ played into the identity I still was upholding for myself and wrote something that touched that identity of course. She needed to do her job to show me which beliefs I still was feeding…J

She intuitively responded on the belief that I had of me as Me, the one that left the deer.

This somebody wrote me I should have wet myself and stayed with the deer…
She ‘exactually’ formulated what I was thinking…I should have stayed!

(Unfortunately it was not ‘the small business’ I needed to do, but the big one. J)

In my mind in that moment in time there was no problem, because I had put the deer in a safe place, away from the street, nobody could see her from the road.
Kind of hidden….
I thought nobody would find her. I didn’t know that I had put her on HOTEL property.
And the hotel is the one that owns the golf course.
I didn’t know.

Anyway all what I would respond now as excuses and blabla …coming up with kind of reasons to FEEL better, is not going to do anything; because I am trying to find a solution on the level of my ego personality.

That’s what we do, when we believe an untrue thought and feel bad, we try to THINK the opposite to feel better…but it doesn’t work because we stay in duality.

There we get pulled from good to bad, and vice versa.

There is no solution there, because the ego is fake. It doesn’t exist.

So we try to fix something that is a ghost…LOL

I know now to go to the place where I am pure awareness and look from there…J

As awareness.
The one that looked in her eyes and said I love you…
the one I am with her together as ONE….PURE AWARENESS…
that ONE…

NEVER LEFT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you see that?

I CAN not EVEN leave her ever, there where we met without bodies…
there where we have NO idea of ourselves, where we are nothing together…
There place and time are of no importance…

She is me and I am her…

I died with her, to be with her in aliveness…I hope you understand what I say…J

She changed my life forever; she let me see that death doesn’t exist.

She also showed me I needed to trust, and that I needed to be away for those 15 minutes.
I need to trust that the Universe knows what it is doing…J

Who knows, maybe she changed somebody else’s life after changing mine in those 15 minutes?

It revealed my guilty identity self, that’s for sure. She brought it up, so I can see it is not me…J

That one that needs to be good, always.
That one that can’t choose to do good for her Self and has to forget herself and put other’s first.
That one, my dear friend deer showed me…

Many lessons and now you…
How many people touched she now already?

Maybe she spared me to see her die…

As Byron Katie would say;” Being with what is.”
I know Mamaji would ask me;” Is it true that you needed to be there for the deer in those 15 minutes?”

Obviously NO, because I wasn’t then…

The other turn around would be…that I needed there to be for me…
and another turnaround was that I was there for the deer…And yes I was…
In those 15 minutes I was super connected, I didn’t needed to be present in my body with her to be connected...
and still now I am…J
and always will be…
because I am her and she is me…J

 

 

The painting is for sale, call or email me rainbowsart@yahoo.com or 808-754-5883
This whole painting you see here...

 

It costs $650

 

My new painting after my adventure with the deer at Makena, Maui

My new painting (out of series collage wood and canvas)
I made after the accident with the deer at Makena, South of Maui.

It was a baby and she or he was lying on the street. Some cars were passing.
Luckily it isn’t so busy so early in the morning.
I stopped and picked it up.
It was terrified.
He or she trying to get away, trying to get up with its front legs, but its back legs didn’t cooperate anymore.

When I saw that I knew it was a hopeless situation.

I carried her, now it is a she,…J

…to the side of the road and lied her gently in the grass.

 She still was trying to get away from me.

Scared of this huge monster…J

I got her something to drink out of my car, because the sun started to give some warmth.
Soon it would be very hot. We are in Makena!

I didn’t know what to do.
What do I do?

Put her in my car?

And then?

Who do I call?

I know they don’t like deer’s here anymore; especially the golf course thins they are a pest.

You  know… they eat their grass…their beautiful manicured grass…

Deer’s were introduced to the islands and as always when humans try to know it better than God, it gets out of hand. The balance get’s distorted.

I was desperate…what now?

I put my hand on her side and she still tried to get away from me.

And then I just looked into her eyes and said; “I love you.”

Instantly her body relaxed and she put her on her side.

She allowed me to caress her belly and I just continued talking to her.
The ‘I love you’ part was as a shock vibration moving through both of us…

It was as we became one…

Well became…we just kind of lost the sense of having a body and being separate.

NO bodies…just awareness, nothingness…

When I looked again in her eyes I just saw space now.

“I know you are going to die”; I said.
“And I know you know too.”

I looked deeper in her eyes and now understood what Byron Katie means to BE with somebody when they are dying or are sick.

Most of the time our MINDS want something else, want to make that person better.
And don’t want anybody to die.
This energy is at war with what is and causes only suffering.

 

I didn’t do that day what I did before in my life.
When I saw an animal dying I wanted to rescue it. It couldn’t die.
I would take it home and do the impossible. Many birds I tried to save, cats, many many animals.
Now I listen to life and follow the energy…death is not a treat anymore.

It is what is.

That day I stayed with her, so pure as awareness.
I didn’t leave her with my mind. Not for a second.
I stayed with her in the love we were together.

She even relaxed more and rolled now over at her back…

Enjoying being caressed….
In fact we were dying together to the idea we were having of ourselves and what remained was pure awareness, PURE ALIVENESS.

This went on for about 40 minutes and then suddenly the sprinklers went on…

It was as she and I both abruptly were thrown back into the BODY-reality.

 

Ok, what Now?

By now I needed to go to the bathroom and so I left shortly leaving her in the cooling sprinklers.
I promised to be back soon.

I called my friend ranger and he gave me a phone number for deer rescue.

I was happy!

They rang me back and I don’t know what happened or how fast that all went…but they called me back and told me the hotel was ‘taking care of it.’

 

WTF!?!

‘They are going to kill it!”I said.
I rushed back, but she was gone….

 

To make a long story short….

I visited the hotel, called back the deer guys…but no answers were given me; then only that the deer guys don’t really help injured deer’s…Excuse me? So why are you existing than?
The hotel said they could not leave her there, because ‘THE TOURISTS’ would see it….mmmm
Money, money, money…
Nobody wanted to give me an answer of what happened in those 15 minutes I was gone…

My ego felt guilty…I should have stayed…Mamaji would say, that guilt is from the ego and a low vibration and that I was fighting with reality…Because the reality was that I did leave for 15 minutes…
Being with what is, and there lies the peace…J

Days later I heard from my ranger friend that the DLNR showed up and just by looking at them, she got a heart attack.

That was the last story…
Now I have put it to rest…

 

I am sometimes very sensitive…
haha sometimes and feel so bound with my friend deer, that I made this painting for her….
For that she was as a body, but especially for that she is as me:
PURE AWARENESS.
and never dies…
but always IS…
I will never forget when she surrendered to my words…

I LOVE YOU…

It was magic, as a lightening ball going through my body, through hers and then NO body anymore, but we were just space…the space of LOVE together…as ONE…J

So tell ‘somebeing’ from the depth of your heart

I LOVE YOU

And see what happens…

That is who we really are

 

ONE LOVE…

 

Love, Rainbow

This painting is for sale, please call me 808-754-5883
rainbowsart@yahoo.com
www.tamaratavernier.com

Sitting at Thomsen Road in Kula, Maui or is in Opray Winfrey Road?

This is a new painting in the series collage with wood and canvas…

I see myself more and more moving into stillness, emptiness…

I forget a lot….what was an hour ago, it’s gone.
It would hurt my brain trying to THINK about it and bring into this NOW existence again.

I am fortunate to have met my mom\teacher Mamaji, she brought me to the place where we laugh hard…very hard…because there is a deep understanding, knowing that we are NO-THING.

The other day I was sitting at Thomsen Road in Kula up Haleakala in Maui. I love that street.
Always reminds me of Oprah . She has an estate there and I once heard an interview where she described the silence of Haleakala walking in Thomsen street...The low hanging clouds, the drizzle falling out, the cool little breeze caressing ...the immense view of Maui...breathtaking!

There it is so silent…well it can be more silent going even higher up Haleakala, but it will do.
I just love it. The view, the street, the fresh air…

There were people, dedju’...(dedju=Belgian for damned)

At first I wanted everybody to be silent. Or to be gone…J
Don’t you hear the silence?
But I realized immediately that by resisting ‘the noise’ I cut myself off my own silence.
I could see that silence is not in being silent.
Silence is what lies behind all what is what we can see.

Silence is the peace within, the undisturbed unchanging place that is the space we ARE.

Once I realized that, and sat down in the awareness of who I am, people starting whispering…really…
I didn’t ask them too…it just happened.
The moment they were in a certain distance away from me they would start talking again.

 

There is NO way that you can ever change something at the outside…because outside is a mirror of what’s in us…I couldn’t make them leave or be silent; I could only find the silence within again.
And with finding I mean really…BEING the silence within…
and 'hup' I recognized the space of HUGE silence I AM!

Sitting there I expanded…mmmm …how do I describe it?

The expansion or the feeling of expansion happened with seeing who I really am.

There is no mind that is me, there is no body that is me…
they are there and it brings me joy to experience them. ( my mind and body)
I don’t have to escape from my mind nor body, I just am that that is behind it…
unchanging bliss…watching the view from Kula…looking to the magnificent Ocean…
The soft breeze, the small little drops of rain on my skin…
The gratitude for life itself, as it is…

I am that that sees all of this…

 

This is this painting, the stillness we are.
Thank you Mamaji, to bring me, help me seeing who I really am…

Nothing at all!

The turtle, the horses are me…pure awareness and their bodies come and go…the awareness they are, as me…is infinite stillness…Peace…LOVE….

LOL …Mamaji, once said very ’dry’ (that’s something we would say in Belgium, saying something dry means short, sharp and cutting with truth, also humorous…)

After I kind of dramatically announced that I am battling with low self-esteem for so so so long…my whole life…” I could be very dramatic some while ago…for a long time…J

She answered; ‘YOU ARE NOTHING!”

 

It came out so dry…so…

The laughter that poured out of me, came from that place, that space…I can still feel it, because that is who I am, as you….a huge space of laughter and JOY!
A SPACE OF LOVE for what is…

All of this is in this painting….

 

It is for sale by the way…please share this with your friends if you want…

Call me 808-754-5883

 

Love, rainbow
www.tamaratavernier.com
www.rainbowsheart.com