Sitting at Thomsen Road in Kula, Maui or is in Opray Winfrey Road?

This is a new painting in the series collage with wood and canvas…

I see myself more and more moving into stillness, emptiness…

I forget a lot….what was an hour ago, it’s gone.
It would hurt my brain trying to THINK about it and bring into this NOW existence again.

I am fortunate to have met my mom\teacher Mamaji, she brought me to the place where we laugh hard…very hard…because there is a deep understanding, knowing that we are NO-THING.

The other day I was sitting at Thomsen Road in Kula up Haleakala in Maui. I love that street.
Always reminds me of Oprah . She has an estate there and I once heard an interview where she described the silence of Haleakala walking in Thomsen street...The low hanging clouds, the drizzle falling out, the cool little breeze caressing ...the immense view of Maui...breathtaking!

There it is so silent…well it can be more silent going even higher up Haleakala, but it will do.
I just love it. The view, the street, the fresh air…

There were people, dedju’...(dedju=Belgian for damned)

At first I wanted everybody to be silent. Or to be gone…J
Don’t you hear the silence?
But I realized immediately that by resisting ‘the noise’ I cut myself off my own silence.
I could see that silence is not in being silent.
Silence is what lies behind all what is what we can see.

Silence is the peace within, the undisturbed unchanging place that is the space we ARE.

Once I realized that, and sat down in the awareness of who I am, people starting whispering…really…
I didn’t ask them too…it just happened.
The moment they were in a certain distance away from me they would start talking again.

 

There is NO way that you can ever change something at the outside…because outside is a mirror of what’s in us…I couldn’t make them leave or be silent; I could only find the silence within again.
And with finding I mean really…BEING the silence within…
and 'hup' I recognized the space of HUGE silence I AM!

Sitting there I expanded…mmmm …how do I describe it?

The expansion or the feeling of expansion happened with seeing who I really am.

There is no mind that is me, there is no body that is me…
they are there and it brings me joy to experience them. ( my mind and body)
I don’t have to escape from my mind nor body, I just am that that is behind it…
unchanging bliss…watching the view from Kula…looking to the magnificent Ocean…
The soft breeze, the small little drops of rain on my skin…
The gratitude for life itself, as it is…

I am that that sees all of this…

 

This is this painting, the stillness we are.
Thank you Mamaji, to bring me, help me seeing who I really am…

Nothing at all!

The turtle, the horses are me…pure awareness and their bodies come and go…the awareness they are, as me…is infinite stillness…Peace…LOVE….

LOL …Mamaji, once said very ’dry’ (that’s something we would say in Belgium, saying something dry means short, sharp and cutting with truth, also humorous…)

After I kind of dramatically announced that I am battling with low self-esteem for so so so long…my whole life…” I could be very dramatic some while ago…for a long time…J

She answered; ‘YOU ARE NOTHING!”

 

It came out so dry…so…

The laughter that poured out of me, came from that place, that space…I can still feel it, because that is who I am, as you….a huge space of laughter and JOY!
A SPACE OF LOVE for what is…

All of this is in this painting….

 

It is for sale by the way…please share this with your friends if you want…

Call me 808-754-5883

 

Love, rainbow
www.tamaratavernier.com
www.rainbowsheart.com

This is a new painting...pERFECT ReSOnanCE

This is a new painting,

Intrigued, hunger, willingness, wanting…all of these things …all of it….the will to be free brought me in resonance with my wonderful mom-teacher Mamaji.
This painting stands for resonance, harmony, and soulmates…J

More and more change is happening within my life, and more and more all what I am not is falling of me.
I can see that I am losing any sense of this reality we call ‘The world”

I don’t mean I am gone or anything like that. I do my shopping and I fix my car, and eat and drink….and all of these things… I was never so connected and loving to my body than ever before…

But I lose so much what is behind me and in front of me.
I experienced that there is neither past nor future…

When Mamaji said to me; “It is funny to think you think you have a CHOICE to be in the NOW….”

I had to laugh so hard…for years I try as every good spiritual person, PERSON, to be in the NOW…
meditating and all that stuff we do…as we have to DO something to be in it….

Actually

LOL

We are always in it…
There is NO choice!

I could feel that so clear when Mamaji told me that.

I was thrown big time into THAT reality, that space who is me…when she said that.

That what never dies and always is alive…

That where I don’t identify with any role I play in this world.

The intrigued, hungry, willing, wanting…one is not me…it is a part I see now that was needed to wake up to who I am…

Today I see…the one that wants to be an artist, a beloved daughter, a dolphin lover….all of it, is not who I am…

I can truly say I let go of a lot lately…and even saying this is a lie, because I realize that there is nothing to let go of.

Those are only ego-roles in my movie called LIFE that I play. Underneath that, my source, PURE AWARENESS watches the whole thing…

There is nothing to let go of…. A thought, a belief, an identity, personality…it is nOTHING…

I see today that f.e. I still want to be the artist;
When I look to it as awareness it is funny to realize how ‘my ego artist self’ is so doing her best to be that, what I NEVER can be… I mean a successful artist and then what?
What is the importance of that?
It falls away, it is not permanent…what is not permanent can never bring me everlasting joy and freedom…
that is really what I have been experiencing today…

Returning to the one I am, pure awareness and I see that NONE of it is my business, because there is no business…

Can you follow me?

Can I follow me?

LOL

I can see today, that I sometimes still move from personality to pure awareness and that…
Actually the things I want to be…

the artist, the beloved daughter, dolphin and turtle lover…I already play in this world…
So

I guess maybe I just need to write…
what is the problem?

 

Haha in awareness ther si no problem…

Only the one that thinks there is one, but actually that’s NOT who I am!

Aha!

 

Love Rainbow,

 

www.tamaratavernier.com

This painting is for sale and costs $450

New painting 'Out of the box.'!

This is a new painting in the series collage with wood and canvas.

Mostly what is happening here is that I want to express the feeling of breaking out of the illusionary box.
Illusionary of course because there is no box. We just THINK the box…J
I am freedom. It were only my thoughts that could let me believe the opposite.

Now, more and more I see that thoughts are not me, beliefs are not me and it just passes through me. Not much attention is given to it anymore.

The attention now is on who I am, the pure awareness where every-thing is No-thing…J

There there is nothing really to take care of…there life, the Universe, God takes care of me…I just go with life now…no plans, just being…

Out of the box of limited thinking…

I walk and am aware I am that who never dies.

The thoughts of fear of death disappear when I realize that I am already dead…J
but much more alive…one day this body will die, but never the place where I am l looking from now…

I am intensely ALIVE!

King of my own life….easy as you come from awareness…
not easy when I let my mind rule the whole thing…J

This painting exists of 2 wooden panels and 3 canvases and costs $850

 

Call me 808-754-5883 or email rainbowsart@yahoo.com
www.tamaratavernier.com

Sweet awareness, a new painting!

This is a new painting!

Always wanted to paint the sunset rising out of awareness… and here it is…

The space we ALL are,

The space the sunset is….
All what we see is just an image of who we are.

Images flowing in our existence…
I stand on the beach, watching the Ocean…looking to the bird in the blue sky…
All of it…all what I see is me…what is underneath the grain of sand, underneath the drops of water,
underneath the body of the bird, underneath the blue sky…
It is awareness, it is that who I am and who is you…

There we are one…

The giraffe is us, and we are the giraffe…just here in another body…

When I look from awareness I only see love…

The other day when I was swimming with turtles and dolphins I felt an immense love and  sweetness radiating from them…but I realized if a shark would show up, it would feel the same.

All of existence is that sweet loving vibration…
Even when one animal eats the other, it all happens in that sweet vibration of awareness, that nothing is wrong…and all is one…
In awareness there is no death and no birth, it just all is….

Sweet awareness…

 

Love, rainbow
www.tamaratavernier.com
www.rainbowsheart.com

 

This one is acrylic and for sale, it costs $450

First painting out of the collection 'wood and canvas'

This is my first painting in my collage paintings, canvas and wood.

It shows the infinite essence of our being.
The space we are.
The owl and I are the same…
We are that infinite space that I call awareness.

It is the space where I am free of mind…J

That space is love…

Not giving nor receiving love…

No need to…

no doing there,
just being a non changing space of immense love….

I am love…J

I am the owl and the owl is I…

We are I,

Unchanging grace seeing our worlds moving through as clouds in the sky…
in the awareness of love,

 

This piece exists out of one piece of wood and 4 canvases.
It is for sale and costs $650.

Call me 808-754-5883
www.tamaratavernier.com

Love, rainbow

The silence of my lips...

 

 

 

 

 

What is happening with me?

For the longest time I didn’t write…I guess I am doing other stuff. Mostly I am more and more intrigued with my art and painting and that and the ocean absorbs most of my energy…J

 

I guess I might maybe …gently say that I lost my personality…LOL
I say this in a very careful way, because every time I mention it to Mamaji (my mom/teacher see other blogs) life, the field, God….triggers me. Test me on the spot. It goes really fast.
Instantly I get directed into truth…
Over and over again…

 

Yep, not always in a pleasant way…but it is a way to kick my butt immediately back into AWARENESS…
yes I found that place, that middle point in me…that stillness point where I feel a constant joy…where I feel I am free of my mind…
Oh it is heaven!

The day I saw that beliefs were lies…all fell away…anything that I ever believed that caused me suffering just fell of me and there I was…

It is a long story, but in that place of being I see all thoughts come and go, I see beliefs are not more than clouds. Nothing more…;)

I had the belief that I had to do hard work to dig out the roots of my beliefs…hihi when I saw that beliefs are NOTHING…
roots gone,
work gone,
suffering gone…

And there I was as awareness…

The thought, which scared me for most of my life…
the thought I will die and not exist…
just was a cloud, nothing more…
a huge liberation was felt in that moment!
It is not possible to NOT exist, because I am existence itself…J
And now I feel happy…but is not a happiness because I have something external…
although I have a lot….
(eventough I left my apartment because I couldn’t pay rent anymore)

I experience every day that we live in a abundant reality….
It is true that God takes care of us…and that God or the field, or the Universe always took care of us.
And it is true that we are being lived and that NOTHING is in our control…
It is true that we are nothing…
J

I am happy with being NOTHING…

I am happy because I am free of my MIND!

I am HAPPY because I DON”T KNOW ANYTHING and it is alright!

This is a funny story about not knowing anything. The story came back into my mind today while I was talking to Mamaji. When I was on the phone I broke a piece of a plant and the white juice triggered a memory…here it is…

It is a story when I just was a few months in Hawaii. The first nine months I lived on Big Island and once a while I would fly to Oahu, giving some workshops and visiting friends.
On Big Island a Dutch woman taught me the different medicine wonders of Hawaiian plants.
The flower of the banana plant was for instance amazing to heal deep cuts very quickly.
Also she showed me the amazing power of the kukui plant and noni and etc….

 

Anyway, here I was sitting under a tree in the botanical gardens in Oahu talking with a Japanese Hawaiian woman about her soul painting she ordered with me.
I didn’t know that she was an expert in Hawaiian medicine, lomi lomi etc…
But as I experienced in Hawaii, most Asian people are very humbly and don’t say much…

A day or two before I was on a boat on Big Island looking for dolphins and I had burned my lips severely.
The Dutch woman taught me to put kukui nut oil on my burned lips…it would heal it fast…so I was doing it. She was providing me with it…

Here I am explaining the soulpainting to M.
My lips were hurting and I noticed the tree that was giving us shade.
I saw some balls hanging in the branches and I felt relieved…
 “Aaaaaaah”; I thought;”kukui nuts!”
In a spilt of a second I grabbed one, took of the steel of the plant and put the white liquid on my lips.

I was wondering why M. was looking to me with such terror.

I just continued the explanation and it took her about 10 minutes to ask me why I did that.

You must know that I was just explaining her soul reading to her; where was written she had a lot of knowledge that she needs to share with others. She sometimes was holding her knowledge back and she should come faster forward with it….:)

I asked;”Why are you asking that?”

“Well”; she said; “I studied all the plants of Hawaii and what you just put on your lips is kind of glue!”

Oh no…
There my lips were sealed…I guess…

Now I can laugh with it, but I had several awful wounds and the longer it took the more my lips got glued together…
I had to take of that glue with a napkin and water as fast as I could and…it wasn’t funny…J

Just a story to illustrate that we sometimes think we know something….haha

But not anymore…
I don’t know anything at all…

Especially not about Hawaiian medicine..:)

Love, rainbow

www.rainbowsheart.com
www.tamaratavernier.com

This is a cool new painting! The wisdom of the elephant...

In the stillness of my being
I am free
I am peace
I am abundance
all what I see is not me,

I feel my presence running through me…

Inside of me,

But also this I see and feel

From where?

Is that who I am?

The place of that…

Is there anything that can disturb that space?

Everything moves through it…

Comes and goes…

A thought can try to make me believe that I am away from that…
And that I have to DO effort to come back…

But

I am that…
if I just let that thought fly by…
don’t give it attention, power or belief…

It just dissolves as a dark cloud in the sky…

I have to remind myself… haha MIND myself…
who I am…

Do I?

No, I can see now again that that is the mind making up stuff…
My crazy mind!

In reality all is NOTHING!

I gave my existence to existence…
and am being lived…
always was,

I just had a thought I was in control…

But there is something in realizing all of that…

I can’t call it surrender, because it just happens at some point…Trust is it neither…

It is greater than that…

it is a heart-knowing that I am who I am…

And that in each moment I am it all…

Whatever appears is mine,
resistance to what appears only comes from THE MIND…
My crazy mind!

Pure awareness embraces everything without judgment…

Peace
freedom,

And

LOVE,

 

the elephant

 

Love Tamara rainbow

www.rainbowsheart.com

this painting is for sale and you can do me an offer…
808-754-5883